to tell?im torn in two here

[amytheearwaxbanisher]

my little sister 15 has asked me to put her on the pill,although the thoght of my baby ds having sex makes me want to scream my thinking is she wouldnt want the pill if she wasnt intending on needing it and id rather her be safe than tell her no and let her get pregnant.my mother has asked her before if she wants to go on it to just ask but she is a bit unapprochable so ds wont ask her.the problem is do i tell my mother what im doing?i dont have the right to do it without her consent and my dh said what if ds had a terrible reaction and my parents couldnt tell docs she was on any medication.either way im going behind someones back sorry so long but please help

thank madamez ill try to get her to speak to my mam if she wont ill get her sorted anyway

Amy, why don't you ring the Well-woman Centre in Liffey St and ask their advice about the legalities etc. Just wondering as well, whether she could be, in her own way, testing the waters to see what you think about her having sex? Is the boyfriend pressurising her, do you think? Maybe no harm to tell her it's OK to say no till she's good and ready.
But agree that if she is going to have sex, it's better for her to be protected in every way possible.

i looked up there number tonight only emergancies tomoro so will call on monday to suss it out mabey make an appointment for her and go with her,im going to have a big talk with her about waiting for the right person,being in love and respecting herself but at 15 she probably wont listen and thinks she knows it all anyway.im hoping she is going on it so she can tell her mates she is on it and be part of the gang and feel grown up or maybe im in denial there

Hmm..if you do help your sister to get the pill, telling your mom or not, make sure you make her aware of other problems that sex may carry....i.e. make her aware that dispite pill she also should always use a condom...

i will do jingles shall tell her the pill does not effect stds and lots of things stop the pill working

Can you tell that I just read a godawful(as in really sad & upsetting, not awfully written)book about a poor girl, that was raped...which was her first ever sexual encounter, and than died of AIDS....

i think her reasons for wanting the pill are the biggest issue here.i don't understand the 'if she's going to do it anyway then its better she's protected' attitude atall.i had boyfriends when i was 15 who wanted me to have sex with them and all the rest of it but i never even considered it as there was no way i was going to risk getting pregnant.

i think what is more important is not the risk of pregnancy or sti's but the possible emotional damage from having sex before she is ready,or with the wrong person.

if she is sure it's what she wants then maybe you could suggest both her and her boyfriend go to the gp/family planning together,and explain that if he's not prepared to share the responsibiltiy of contraception then he's not worth having sex with(cos lads who are like that will no doubt be useless pencil-dick 3 minute wonders)

i know snoo but whats my choice to say youy and the chap sort it out i wont help?and then she gets pregnant?at 15 you think you no it all and me saying oh but your too young for sex is not going to stop her is it?

Yes, DBSS, but which is worse, having sex and feeling crap about it, or having sex, an STD and an unwanted pregnancy and feeling VERY crap about it? The first is the lesser of two evils IMO. Amy sounds like she knows her little sis very well.

My DD1 is 17 and has contributed in no small way to my grey hairs and haggared look (and im only 37!). I often tried to get her to go on the pill, but she got quite upset with me about it. When she and her boyfriend took themself off to the FP clinic, she rang me and asked me to confirm a few things she didnt understand. It made me sad to think of my little girl having sex, i dont think she is ready, but thankfully she is using protection and feels able to talk to me about it.

Amy, im not sure about the law in ireland, but here it is a prescription only medicine. You say something about having to pay for her to go to a clinic to get it?? Is this the equivalent to the family planning clinic? Why does she have to pay? Is she not entitled to free contraception? However, i would assume the nurses at the clinic will be trained enough to be able to advise re any preexisting conditions etc.

You are right to worry about STDs, but no amount of worry is going to change what your sister does. Maybe you could speak to your sister about talking to your mum? Tell her that you know she will be fine about it and that you will go with her etc, that way you are not put on the spot if your mum finds out that you knew etc. But if your sister really objects i think you should respect this. From what you say, your sister sounds quite a bit like my DD and i would be much happier with her on the pill tbh. If your mum does find out and confronts you, you can then make it clear that you wanted your sister to tell her but she didnt feel she wanted to, it is understandable.

You sound like a great big sister though

thank lucyellensmum!im not sure if she would have to pay when i went on the pill i got it through my gp which costs50 quid a visit and i think the cost of the pill was about 12 quid per month she is in school son doesnt work so i would pay that for her if needs be not sure if family planning clinics would charge her they charged me when i went to get an implanon in about 300 altogether i think