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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think all men who travel should call 777 and have their GPS tracked and location checked?

352 replies

SummersOverSeasideTown · 09/10/2021 12:51

As it says.
I'd be open to a curfew time, so men can travel during the day maybe, but at night they would have to log their journeys and expected arrival time.

IABU and men should continue to enjoy limitless freedoms and it should be women who have to call and be tracked.

IANBU and this is a reasonable solution to the alternative.

OP posts:
Original poster
SummersOverSeasideTown · 09/10/2021 14:46

@Clocktopus

It's only a proposal, and there's no mention of it being compulsory for women to use it. Before it gets shouted down by those advocating tracking of all men (not going to happen), women should be allowed to make up their own minds and use it if it makes them feel safer.

Not compulsory but it would then become the case if having 'worthy' victims of attack who did everything right, who downloaded the app, who still got attacked, "oh my goodness isn't it awful?". Then you have the women who 'bring it on themselves', who didn't download the app, who went out alone, "well what else did she expect would happen?"

We've already had people on this thread suggesting it is a women's responsibility to be sensible and 'get trained' of course being attacked is a wimmins fault.

To those that are saying it will make them feel safer, feeling safer is dangerous, we need it to be safer.

OP posts:
Shewholovedthethebanhills · 09/10/2021 14:46

Oh OP. Rarely has a thread gone so far over so many heads! You’re right, of course.

AICM · 09/10/2021 14:49

@CherryHug

The dodgy ones won't call and log their location anyway so it would be worthless. How about letting women arm themselves better by licencing or legalising CS Spray/Pepper spray etc.
That would mean men could get it, run up to a woman and pepper spray her in the face before she had time to react.

This would give men an even bigger advantage.

forinborin · 09/10/2021 14:50

I think, if implemented, it would be helpful. However, I think in practice even if 0.5% of users simply forget to check in back on arrival and the police would then attend, it will just lead to the police ignoring all call-outs from the app.

HeartsAndClubs · 09/10/2021 14:55

Why don't we teach men that they have no rights to woman's body and that its not acceptable to harm us for their own gratification? It’s precisely this kind of talk which makes things worse for many victims.

No,women shouldn’t have to take precautions.They shouldn’t have to be careful where they walk late at night, or let someone know where they are, the emphasis should be on men not to attack. Except the real world doesn’t work like that.

There will always be perpetrators of crimes against women, and in fact all manner of crimes which we take steps to mitigate. If a woman walks down a dark alley and is attacked, then the fault lies 100% with the perpetrator. But the woman can choose not to walk down an alleyway late at night because there are such perpetrators out there and you never know where and how they might appear.

If it was just a case of “x criminal shouldn’t be committing y crime,” then there would be no need for locks on the front door, for video doorbells, for cars which lock, for shops to have alarms and CCTV. If they just didn’t do those things then there wouldn’t be those crimes because they don’t exist anyway, right? Except those crimes do exist, and we as individuals can where possible mitigate against becoming victims of said crimes.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 09/10/2021 14:56

[quote Tana433]@daisypond Please explain to me how i have missed the point of this thread? So my DH meets his mates once a week for a pub quiz and my 26 year old son is out and about most evenings. Why in the hell should they have a curfew or need to be 'tracked'. All men are now being lumped together as potential predaters and most of them simply are not. This is not a world where i would want to live.[/quote]
🥱

1forAll74 · 09/10/2021 14:57

This can't be serious. you can't be tracking ALL men and ALL women when they are out and about. I don't think you will ever be able to stop, all the nastiest men in society, from doing what they do, and I suspect some women, will continue to be out and about at all times, despite knowing what dangers may be around every corner.

I am not sure what magic solutions can be thought of, to make things pleasant and safe for women to enjoy their freedom, it seems quite impossible these days, society is full of more weirdo men than ever these days, for many reasons.

TracyLords · 09/10/2021 15:02

Thing that worries me here
Is that in the case of Sarah Everard,
It was a fucking policeman: the peiple we truer to protect us: who murdered her. I’m doubtful 888 would have stopped her murder

AICM · 09/10/2021 15:03

I think the curfew on men idea is not meant to be taken seriously. It's ment to sound ridiculous to highlight the ridiculousness of women having to tolerate a self-imposed curfew due to fear of men.

It's not an actual suggestion to be taking seriously. Trouble is whenever it is said some women take it seriously and what it to happen which means whole idea falls flat on it's face as, in reality, a curfew on men is a stupid idea.

ApolloandDaphne · 09/10/2021 15:07

Fuck me. How dystopian is all this?

VladmirsPoutine · 09/10/2021 15:08

I bet all the police offers who've been implicated in DV cases against their partners would absolutely love to have unbridled access to their partners / ex-partners whereabouts 24/7 without having to leave the comfort of their desks Smile

Tana433 · 09/10/2021 15:08

I think some people do take it seriously though. They would love for men to be on curfews or chipped. Its ridiculous and clearly not a solution.

bubbletrumps · 09/10/2021 15:09

All men should be brought into line. I'm sick of them. Utterly sick of the violence. And don't give me NAMALT, I don't care about individuals. Men are the problem. Men.

Tana433 · 09/10/2021 15:11

@bubbletrumps unless you are being sarcastic (and i hope to God you are) you are just proving my point. Of course it is not all men.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/10/2021 15:13

@bubbletrumps

All men should be brought into line. I'm sick of them. Utterly sick of the violence. And don't give me NAMALT, I don't care about individuals. Men are the problem. Men.
So if you don't care about the individuals who are commuting crimes, only those who are male, what do you suggest? How do you bring them ALL into line as a group? Drowned at birth? Castrated at puberty?
VladmirsPoutine · 09/10/2021 15:14

@Tana433

I think some people do take it seriously though. They would love for men to be on curfews or chipped. Its ridiculous and clearly not a solution.
Well this is what they're mooting for all women and it seems to have people (not on this thread, I mean) nodding along in agreement as a 'sensible' approach so why can't the reverse be true. In fact how quickly can we implement it because as soon as all the men get chipped I'm off for a midnight run down the park.
SleepingStandingUp · 09/10/2021 15:16

@Suffolkpunch345
*So why not teach woman to be sensible?

So we what? Teach women never to go out alone (not all attacks happen at night), never to live with a partner (more of a risk than a stranger), never to have sex unsupervised (not all rape is from a stranger). Only date in mix sex groups, sex with a security team nearby, live in female only communes?

WormYourHonour · 09/10/2021 15:22

There's a simple solution that everyone seems to be missing.

They can suggest Women call number, women take action, women protect themselves, women change their lives, women organise groups and phone numbers and apps and all that.

The easy, simple, no problem solution...

Men... stop hurting women.
They wouldn't have to do anything, just avoid doing something.

I know, it's ground breaking isnt it?

So take the £50m BT wants, spend it on areas that can tackle the actual problem.
Hell, spend it on the CPS and get rape convictions even a few percent higher.

(I may be being slightly facetious btw...)

AliceAbsolum · 09/10/2021 15:22

This is terrifying. No.

DemocracyofHypocrisy · 09/10/2021 15:25

What would happen if a woman used the service but then didn’t get home on time for legitimate reasons. Bumps into a friend on the way home, stops at a shop and there’s a big queue etc, and doesn’t ‘update’ the app for what ever reason.

Would that be considered wasting police time?

chaosrabbitland · 09/10/2021 15:26

id rather no one had to get tracked at all , until we can tackle the lack of police on the streets and actually have a criminal justice system that hands out stiff sentences things will continue as they are

XelaM · 09/10/2021 15:26

No. My dad is the loveliest person you could ever meet. My brother is lovely too. Not all men are monsters we need protection from

maddiemookins16mum · 09/10/2021 15:28

Utterly ridiculous.

Dhcfisssifjrsnxfjds · 09/10/2021 15:29

@HeartsAndClubs

Why don't we teach men that they have no rights to woman's body and that its not acceptable to harm us for their own gratification? It’s precisely this kind of talk which makes things worse for many victims.

No,women shouldn’t have to take precautions.They shouldn’t have to be careful where they walk late at night, or let someone know where they are, the emphasis should be on men not to attack. Except the real world doesn’t work like that.

There will always be perpetrators of crimes against women, and in fact all manner of crimes which we take steps to mitigate. If a woman walks down a dark alley and is attacked, then the fault lies 100% with the perpetrator. But the woman can choose not to walk down an alleyway late at night because there are such perpetrators out there and you never know where and how they might appear.

If it was just a case of “x criminal shouldn’t be committing y crime,” then there would be no need for locks on the front door, for video doorbells, for cars which lock, for shops to have alarms and CCTV. If they just didn’t do those things then there wouldn’t be those crimes because they don’t exist anyway, right? Except those crimes do exist, and we as individuals can where possible mitigate against becoming victims of said crimes.

You must be joking? Please tell me you are.
Suffolkpunch345 · 09/10/2021 15:30

@HeartsAndClubs @SleepingStandingUp

Because we don’t live in a perfect world! Every creature has to be aware of predators ( men included) - its nature. And yes! I think woman have to be sensible and it’s completely naivety to think any differently.

Why bother locking your door ? Just make sure people don’t steal ? Why have a speed limit/ speed cameras ? Why have legal age for alcohol ? In fact- why bother with prison, just teach everyone to be good.

The suggestion that nobody needs to take responsibility for themselves is juvenile and in 100 percent sure you lock your doors every night.