‘Never get another animal’ - AIBU?

[Gettingpets]

I see this on here all the time.

Fair enough if it is ‘we got a puppy last year but we both work full time and the kids aren’t interested and walking him at weekends gets in the way of all the non dog friendly activities we like to do …’

But AIBU to think this just gets trotted out completely meaninglessly? I’ve twice been in the horrible position where I’ve had to rehome a much loved pet and I did so very responsibly but in any event, one instance was in 2004 and the other in 2012. In both cases I am light years from the person I was then!

AIBU to think it’s a daft thing to say?

@Derbee

You could afford to buy a flat, pay legal fees etc, presumably afford furniture, or paid for storage for furniture? But god forbid having to take the cat into consideration

Nope. I bought the house and then my flat was sold. No money left. I didn’t put anything in storage: it was pretty shit and a lot had to be thrown away.

The reason I think you’re taking it “personally” is that I agree with you, I have noticed sometimes it’s trotted out as a line very quickly. But I think, well, that poster believes very strongly that rehoming is a bad thing and think no more of it. But you’ve started a whole thread about how when people say it they’re wrong so clearly it bothers you. I’ve never rehomed an animal of mine, so I’m not primed to react defensively to that phrase. You sound a bit defensive l. That’s all I meant.

You clearly think you’re justified, although presumably you know that an old cat was unlikely to have been adopted and was most likely PTS?

Pointless arguing. You’ve dumped 2 animals and you think you should have more if you decide you fancy it. So we’ll never see eye to eye.

@Derbee

For goodness sake, your own justifications are actually ridiculous. You weren’t “homeless”. Homeless means you have nowhere to live. You had a six week period whilst waiting for your house sale to go through. In the grand scheme of things, a 6 week stay in a cattery would have been better than dumping an old cat who you’d had for years.

Don’t get another pet, you clearly don’t take the responsibility seriously. And you clearly take it personally that people feel that owners like you are not responsible openers and shouldn’t actually have pets

This

I had a thread about this a while ago because I was considering getting another dog after rehoming my first dog in very difficult circumstances ( link )

MN, far from a nest of vipers that day, gave me some really kind and sound advice. I now type with my dog sleeping next to me 😍 We were unbelievably lucky and were able to re-home a 5 month old collie cross who-knows-what puppy from a local rescue, she's adorable and has made our family so bloody happy. So... I guess it depends. I'm not sure I'm qualified to advise tbh.

I don’t think it. I know it. I lived my life, you didn’t. You might have made different choices but I’m not sure for the animal the outcomes would have been better and possibly worse - depends what happened in those six weeks.

If people asking a question on MN means they are taking it personally @NoSquirrels then I think at any given moment there is fifty percent sense and fifty percent horse shit on here. It doesn’t mean I take any of it personally - and neither should you.

[quote Derbee]@romdowa and if/when you move country again?[/quote]
I've returned to my home country and have no plans to leave. If I ever find myself homeless again, then I have family here, so I'll never be on the streets. I had no family in the UK and would have been on the streets with 2 cats at 6 months pregnant.

Too often people get pets without thinking it through. Be that a lockdown puppy or not thinking about training or bills or illness.
I have coped with moving house and going into rented. Relocating. Never got rid of my cats.
I’ve had asthma, blood clot, fibromyalgia, arthritis etc etc. I would as soon get my children adopted as I would rehome my animals.
I have contingency plans. Good insurance. Friends and contacts who could help. They are my responsibility. I love them. I won’t let them down. Ever.

But folks that get a cute puppy and then ditch it because they can't cope DO piss me off. I think there's a mindset that respects animals and sometimes things go wrong and a mindset that animals are accessories and can be picked up and dropped.

In what way is that any different to what you did? it just so happened you rehomed it to your mum but can't you see that this is exactly what you did with your dog?

@Gettingpets

I’m not taking it personally. I just think it’s daft that I should ‘never get another animal’ because of something that happened nearly a decade ago.

The fact you are posting about this now says you might be taking it personally.

I have a friend who is currently refusing to leave her abusive, addicted partner because she can't find a workable solution for her pets.

I think there does come a time when it's right to rehome, and that she should prioritize herself and her children.

But I've returned one (adopted) cat out of three for the sake of the others, and I found that very difficult to do when it really came to it, so I sympathize.

I've got a few pets, among them a rescue dog and rescue rabbit. I'm glad they're here if their last owner couldn't manage them. If my circumstances change suddenly or shocking I hope my pets are taken on and looked after in turn.

There's definitely a contingent on MN who believe that people should have pets only in ideal situations.

I've had to give away a young cat as he was utterly miserable and aggressive due to being in a house with another pet (his litter mate!) and my then baby son.

My mum also had to give away a cat due to relocating abroad and the vet said that the cat wouldn't survive the journey. It was the vet who took her in!

@TinkyWinkyGwerth

I had a thread about this a while ago because I was considering getting another dog after rehoming my first dog in very difficult circumstances ( link )

MN, far from a nest of vipers that day, gave me some really kind and sound advice. I now type with my dog sleeping next to me 😍 We were unbelievably lucky and were able to re-home a 5 month old collie cross who-knows-what puppy from a local rescue, she's adorable and has made our family so bloody happy. So... I guess it depends. I'm not sure I'm qualified to advise tbh.

Aww. Reading your linked thread and this update has given me all the feels.

@TinkyWinkyGwerth

I had a thread about this a while ago because I was considering getting another dog after rehoming my first dog in very difficult circumstances ( link )

MN, far from a nest of vipers that day, gave me some really kind and sound advice. I now type with my dog sleeping next to me 😍 We were unbelievably lucky and were able to re-home a 5 month old collie cross who-knows-what puppy from a local rescue, she's adorable and has made our family so bloody happy. So... I guess it depends. I'm not sure I'm qualified to advise tbh.

I remember your thread. I am so happy you got a rescue puppy. The thought you put into getting your new best friend was incredible and I am so happy for you!

I volunteered at a shelter for several years. Unfortunately we got a lot of pets at the stage of life where they were no longer super-cute (cats and 'handbag dogs'), or when owners realised that their unwillingness to train the dog had resulted in it becoming 'too difficult to handle' (especially pitbulls and the like), or when the animals became old and expensive.

I definitely think there are plenty of circumstances where rehoming is unavoidable and out of the owners hands.

Your situations though? Not so much.

I was in a very similar situation than you, in between places and couldn't take the cat with me, and it never crossed my mind to regime my cat. I found a catery and agreed to pay minimum board but brought the food. I cut down in what I was eating to have enough to pay. I visited 3 times a week. I couldn't wait to have her back with me.

So I can't understand your choice or validate it. We are all different with different priorities but from what you've written I do think you were not a responsible pet owner. That doesn't mean I'm right but it's my opinion.

TBH I wouldn't have rehomed the pets in either of the circumstances that you outline.

In terms of buying a house - if buying the house meant I'd have to rehome my pet - I wouldn't have bought the house as my pets would have been a priority. I would have arranged it differently or kept on searching so that wasn't necessary, as the needs of my pet would be a priority. I would have gone so far as to buy a cheaper house or continue to rent if that meant I could keep my pet by paying for a cattery. It would have been an essential part of my planning that whatever I did was suitable for the pets too.

With the dog, I would have paid for doggy daycare or for two dog walkers a day. I wouldn't take on a dog, if I didn't have suitable resources to deal with any unexpected emergencies that might come up. I honestly can't see how doggy daycare and walks wouldn't have solved your problem. In a nutshell, you preferred to rehome than pay for appropriate care.

So honestly, no, I don't think you should have another pet, because you don't seem committed to meeting their needs, and seem to think giving them up is an appropriate solution when the going gets tough. Good pet owners put their pets needs first and would do anything they could to ensure they didn't have to be rehomed.

No I'd rather someone else give one of those cats in a cattery a 'forever home' just incase I'm made 'homeless' for 6 weeks 🤨

@mrsm43s Couldn't have said it better myself. Great post.

@Feelslikealot

A lot of assumptions there. She was an adult dog when I got her from Battersea, I didn't buy a cute puppy. I had her for 5 years. I was expecting to have her forever as, believe me, she was awesome. Took a lot of work initially but then she was a dream. I could have even kept her but in less than ideal circumstances. Mum said she'd like to have her until things settled down and then we just agreed she'd stay with mum.

If mum hadn't have wanted her then I guess I would have buggered on but I also had an Aunty who was quite keen on her.

I don't think its the same thing at all. I just buried my last guinea pig this summer. He was 9 and a half. My current dog I've had 4 years, bought at 5 months old and not a puppy craze. I'm really not fickle with my animals.

There are definitely circumstances where it’s the best thing, and equally there are circumstances where MN go completely OTT.

I used to have an African grey parrot. For anyone who has never owned one, they are incredibly intelligent, demanding birds,needing almost constant stimulation. 5 years ago I went into heart failure following the flu, and at that point I was no longer able to give my parrot the attention he deserved. I was obviously reluctant to rehome him, but 6 months later I had a relapse and ended up in a position where I couldn’t even walk upstairs or from my lounge to my kitchen without becoming breathless,much less give the parrot the attention he needed.

I didn’t want to rehome him to someone who thought that having a parrot would be cool because they thought having a talking bird would be amusing etc, so I looked around for somewhere to take him.

He went to live with my parents for a while, because I spent time in and out of hospital, so living there he had more attention than he did here. And then we found him a home in a parrot sanctuary in the Lincolnshire wildlife park.

He now lives there with lots of other parrots, in an aviary, where he has the company of his own kind, the space to be a parrot, and isn’t going to randomly find himself back in the same position in the future.

Now here’s the thing. I had to rehome an animal in difficult circumstances and now I am much better. But it wouldn’t feel appropriate to go out and buy another parrot knowing that I already have a parrot out there who had to be rehomed somewhere else. It just wouldn’t. So while I wouldn’t say I should never have any other pet (although I don’t currently have plans for any,) I do think that having rehomed a bird it would be wrong to think now that things are better for me, I could go out and buy another one and so on. It’s not because I’m an irresponsible pet owner, if I’d kept him it would have been for my benefit not his, but because I’m a responsible pet owner I don’t get rid of my pets when the need arises and then move on to new ones when my own circumstances improve.

However I am reminded of that thread where an OP said that she didn’t love her dog as much as her baby, and posters were falling over themselves to tell her she should “rehome the dog and never have another animal.”

To the posters who are saying to @ RickJames that she was in the wrong for letting her dog go to her mum, how do you feel about guide dog owners who are unable to keep their dogs after retirement because they e.g. work full-time, and those dogs go to family members or are sometimes rehomed by the organisation while the guide dog owner gets a new dog?

Because guide dogs are still dogs. They’re still animals, they are still bonded to their one owner.

Do you think that a visually impaired person shouldn’t be able to have a guide dog unless they can commit to having it for its entire life?

See it’s just not that black and white.

FWIW I have kept all of my retired dogs, precisely because I don’t like the idea that you have a dog until it’s not useful to you any more and you get rid of it and get a new one. But not everyone is in that position. Some owners live in flats, work full-time, aren’t able to walk two dogs at once, have a partner who also has a guide dog and the list goes on, and for those owners they have little choice.

In fact I know someone whose dog has recently been retired because she’s been diagnosed with a brain tumour. She’s on medication and is doing well, but he works full-time so he’s unable to keep her, so reluctantly, she’s had to go to a new home for the time she has left.

And he will go on the list for a new dog. Is that wrong?

Why couldn't you give the cat to your dad for 6 weeks?