Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your dh speak to you like this

115 replies

Isthiswhatitisnow · 07/10/2021 23:26

My dh just told me to suck his shit because apparently I nagged him.
I was telling him to give me some credit when he speaks to his mum about refurbish our new house.
He always goes on about everything he's done and makes it look like I've had no contribution and it annoys me.
I'm also heavily pregnant and his mum thinks I sit around all day doing nothing.
I wasn't raising my voice or swearing or anything I simply said make sure you mention me when you ring her this time. I did repeat it 3 times though.
I then cried and he apologised but he says things like this to me now and then.
Aibu to think it's harsh
Or did I overreact by crying?

OP posts:
Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 07/10/2021 23:30

I couldn't stay with someone who spoke to me like that. Sorry. He sounds like he has been a dick.

TimeForTeaAndG · 07/10/2021 23:31

Nope, he's a dickhead.

thefirstmrsrochester · 07/10/2021 23:34

You did not overreact, your DH is an arsehole.

Owlink · 07/10/2021 23:34

That's a vile way to behave & to speak to you. Sorry Flowers

Cryalot2 · 07/10/2021 23:35

He is way out of line Flowers you don't need that. He needs to apologise and be respectful.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2021 23:35

My husband has never spoken to me like that in 25+ years, ever, and I would never have tolerated it. Your husband is vile.

Comtesse · 07/10/2021 23:35

He was horrible - yanbu Flowers

DroopyClematis · 07/10/2021 23:37

That's a horrible way to speak to someone you're supposed to love.

Unacceptable.

Stuckhere2021 · 07/10/2021 23:38

Did he really say “suck his shit”??? That is disgusting and no, my DH would never say that to me no matter how annoying I was being. Maybe “suck it up” but not what you’ve written 🤢

SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2021 23:38

No, he wouldn't, because he isn't a foul-mouthed 15 yo.

Your relationship doesn't sound in a great place tbh. Why did you need to tell him three times that he needed to tell his Mom about you? He should absolutely not speak to you like that. I'm not surprised he was annoyed with you.

Tiramiwho · 07/10/2021 23:40

That's just vile. Is this an actual saying now? Repulsive little man.

Arabelladrinkstea · 07/10/2021 23:41

Yes this is horrible….. but can I ask why you said it to him 3 times?
It’s only that I would snap if someone kept repeating something to me - but equally I would never say something like that. I’d snap and say ‘I heard you first time’ or something. Flowers

Original poster
Isthiswhatitisnow · 07/10/2021 23:47

Because I didn't think he was listening to me and he didn't acknowledge he heard what I said.
I was annoying yes

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthiswhatitisnow · 07/10/2021 23:48

And no its not a saying, I've never had anyone say anything liek that to me before.
He clearly hates me right ?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2021 23:49

@Isthiswhatitisnow

And no its not a saying, I've never had anyone say anything liek that to me before. He clearly hates me right ?
He certainly doesn't respect you. There's no doubt about that.
Lalliella · 07/10/2021 23:50

No, my DH has never and would never, say anything like that. Your husband sounds horrible OP, sorry.

Hankunamatata · 07/10/2021 23:51

Nah dh would tell me 'your doing me bloody nut in' and strop off.

Hankunamatata · 07/10/2021 23:53

So you went on and on at him, he slipped and said something rude. He doesnt hate you. It's a daft argument about nothing. Wjen you both calm down agree that words like your dh said arnt acceptable and move on.

Anordinarymum · 07/10/2021 23:53

I don't think he hates you but he clearly has no respect. You need to manage him better. Let him say what he likes - you know better. Concentrate on more important things and leave them to it if that's what makes them tick

Original poster
Isthiswhatitisnow · 07/10/2021 23:53

Well he will apologise again probably then be nice for a few days then say something similarly horrible in a couple of days.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 07/10/2021 23:54

@Isthiswhatitisnow

Because I didn't think he was listening to me and he didn't acknowledge he heard what I said. I was annoying yes
But why does he need to report to his Mom about you? I couldn't imagine telling DH he had to tell HIS Mom about my day or what I'd been up to.

And no I don't think he hates you, but I don't think he has much respect for you.

foxgoosefinch · 07/10/2021 23:54

Unfortunately, in my experience men who think it’s okay to speak like that to others rarely change, only get worse. Sorry OP Flowers

MadameMonk · 07/10/2021 23:56

I’d want more than an apology. And I wouldn’t be crying over it.

He’d get a very shocked expression, a clear sentence that he’d crossed a serious boundary and a request that he come and find me when he’d had a looong think about it. Then I’d get on with my life until a suitable conversation happened that included a committent that it wouldn’t happen again.

If he thought he could just sweep it under the rug, he’d get a rude shock himself. I wouldn’t be sulking, but I wouldn’t engage (on anything) until he addressed it. He’d find himself living with a very detached housemate. If he wants a happy home environment, and Teamwork, then he better contribute his part. All services would cease until then.

Original poster
Isthiswhatitisnow · 07/10/2021 23:57

Yes I did go on. I did annoy him. Did I deserve to have that said to me though?

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 07/10/2021 23:59

No he would never speak to me like that. What a disgusting thing to say to anyone never mind someone you are supposed to love.

I would be having a serious sit down conversation with him about this or as you say he will just keep saying things like this to you "now and then" when it should be a never event.

Swipe left for the next trending thread