To be terrified - please help me.

[WhoisRebecca]

Dd, 15, has started taking sertraline after being prescribed it by a private psychiatrist. She took an overdose last year and school refused towards the end of last year.

She is now behaving erratically- running into classrooms at school shouting that she’s going to kill herself, but then laughing - her teachers think she seems very hyper and ‘excited.’ She’s running off when teachers challenge her or swearing at them. She was never like that before this year.

At the weekend she went for a walk and texted a charity helpline, saying she had no bed and was going to jump on the train tracks. We had taken her bed apart because a new double bed was coming on Monday. There was a spare bed upstairs for her. Dd knew this. The police arrived and I was able to show them dd’s location - she had tracking on her phone. They quickly assessed that she had a safe home and did, in fact, have a suitable bed. This was a reaction to being told off because she had bullied a student at school.

She was put in isolation at school for a nasty incident towards another student. She can sometimes be loving and calm. At other times she is very very high and erratic. School had to send her home today. She struggles to attend lessons. I don’t know where to go from here and feel utterly desperate.

My view is that she's currently overloaded. School is just too much for her right now.

If she's autistic then reducing stress and sensory overload is vital.

I see you're off to A&E. Just be aware that this might escalate her overload due to the change in environment, bright lights, strangers and the anxiety of it all.

I'd be inclined to put her somewhere dark and quiet with things that soothe her - music if she has a favourite, squashy teddies if she has them, soft fleecy blankets etc. Whatever it is that for her is calming. Also recognise that for some of us, intense physical activity is also calming so channelling that energy into a run or a bike ride or something to get those emotions and energy out safely.

Good luck.

I might report this thread. WHY are people diagnosing mental illness in a 15 year old via the internet. It's so dangerous. Please don't do it.

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

I might report this thread. WHY are people diagnosing mental illness in a 15 year old via the internet. It's so dangerous. Please don't do it.

Nobody is diagnosing anyone. Some people have made suggestions. Why report a thread that OP is finding helpful?

I’ve got an ASD appointment with a psychologist on Wednesday and just talking to AXA about what they can offer. Rest assured I will only act on professional advice here, but it’s helpful to discuss this.

She is not going to school until I’m happy that she will be safe. A and E is the last resort if I can’t get anywhere with AXA - hoping I can get help. There are NO private child and adolescent mental health beds in the country at the moment.

She’s calm now with a sticker book, so I’m inclined to keep her here for now.

She hasn’t had trauma other than the assault last year and I’m divorced from her dad - we split up when she was 6. She has a stable, loving home and lives in a lovely house in a nice area. She has two siblings, both happy and high achievers at school.

I’m going to echo the possibility of a severe reaction to sertraline.

My best friend at university was given this to try to reduce anxiety. It turned her into a completely different, erratic, irritable, aggressive and impulsive person when she was on it - completely removed her sense of logic or reason and civil behaviour. She acted like a rude, angry toddler. The psychiatrist downplayed and dismissed her/our concerns and suggested it was another mental health matter.
In the space of two weeks it escalated into a crisis where we had to physically restrain her from jumping out of our window.

She was taken off the medication by the GP (who was furious with said psychiatrist), and three weeks later was back to her lovely, gentle and more reasonable self.

She trialled other antidepressants under close supervision and at smaller doses and found one which worked well for her.

It really could have ended in tragedy. Medication can be brilliant, but it is very powerful and the adverse affects and reactions can be unexpectedly strong. Please don’t underestimate it.

Lots to think about. Her behaviour is much worse when she’s with her friend. The two of them together exhibit very similar behaviours.

School seem to be dealing with her friend from a disciplinary standpoint. Dd has got an easier time because of my pursuit of the MH/ASD angle. Her friend has a severely autistic brother and I suspect is autistic.

They’ve suggested Dd return after half term, though I’m not confident she’ll be ready tbh. I feel a horrible knot of worry.

@WhoisRebecca

CAMHS were not helpful. I would not put much faith in them resolving this.

I so feel for your whole family.

I don't know about the CAMHS in your area but I know NHS funding deficits are national. My son was with them years ago now at the height of the funding cuts. We saw the notice board with pictutes of staff on it change from month to month as roles were cut - they lost 40% of their funding over about two years and were struggling. At the start of our involvement there were home visits galore and professionals galore who could help. That all changed as the service was cut back.

Don't necessarily point the finger at your CAMHS, look at government.

Having said that, I wish you strength to get through this time. No more comments as I've not read the whole thread yet.

Absolutely- mental health services have been drastically cut back. It’s short sighted but there we are. Private services have been affected too so I can’t imagine where I would be if I had to rely wholly on the NHS. She doesn’t respond to rewards or sanctions, so all I can do is make sure she’s safe and give her lots of love.

She’s just been doing these in her art sticker book.

I’m not going to send her back to school after half term if she’s not ready.

@WhoisRebecca

I’m not going to send her back to school after half term if she’s not ready.

Are you a me to do bike meeting or set up a private tutor

The further she falls behind, the more difficult any return to school will be

Online learning!!

I’m not sure she’s able to access education at all at the moment anyway.

They will provide online learning but she may not do it. She doesn’t respond well to demands.

She will refuse a private tutor.

@WhoisRebecca

She will refuse a private tutor.

I really think there needs to be some kind of negotiation with her.

She’s not going to school, which is what she wants to.
You are listening to her, which is wonderful.

But she now needs to play a part.

Otherwise OP, this is storing up massive issues later down the line.

Who wants to return anywhere when you know you’re going to be seriously disadvantaged? And she will be if she doesn’t continue an education in some capacity.

Only so much drawing and sketching she can do all day

@Reallyimeanreally2022 I respectfully disagree, currently it sounds like the OPs daughter is in a state of extreme stress. Nobodies brains can learn in that position, it is better to take a break and concentrate on sketching and drawing and healing than to force "learning" which would just add extra stressors and delay the healing. There are alternatives to mainstream school for GCSE level- there are pupil referral units, colleges, repeating a year at school, alternative curriculum type qualifications. Right now the OPs daughter is unwell with her mental health and that needs to heal first before she can continue to learn. Drawing and sketching is educational and who knows, if the girl is talented and focused maybe thats her future career path. But right now, OP is doing what is right by her daughter and meeting her daughters current needs.

You pick the right tutor

And it could really help.

I talking a couple of hours a day

Keep some structure
Keep up a bit of learning
Make return to school easier

I know you’re up to your neck in it right now, but as a mum who’s been in a similar position and is now thankfully out the other side I just wanted to say you’re doing a brilliant job so far

Mental health comes first, push Axa, they agreed to fund 10 private therapy sessions for DD so I know they will fund some treatment, we had to fund psychiatrist for DS as they wouldn’t fund that

DD is now educated out of year at an internet school but your DD could do GCSES at college next year when she’s in a better place

It’s also not too late to think about an EHCP, probably one for the back burner at present but if she needs a different pattern of education due to her health then this can facilitate it, DD’s pays for her place at her school

When DD started to fall apart at 12 we made the decision it was better to have a live child at the end of education rather than a grave because we hadn’t put her mental health first

Once again You are a fab mum, take care of yourself so you can take care of your child

There is no negotiation with Dd. She will either do it, or she won’t.

School are providing work but she’s very oppositional and if she refuses to do it there will be no persuading her. She absolutely will not have a tutor.

@WhoisRebecca

School are providing work but she’s very oppositional and if she refuses to do it there will be no persuading her. She absolutely will not have a tutor.

I’m so sorry This must be so difficult.

Does this opposition and refusal to negotiate pre date recent events which some have said may be reaction to setraline?