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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be terrified - please help me.

376 replies

WhoisRebecca · 07/10/2021 17:13

Dd, 15, has started taking sertraline after being prescribed it by a private psychiatrist. She took an overdose last year and school refused towards the end of last year.

She is now behaving erratically- running into classrooms at school shouting that she’s going to kill herself, but then laughing - her teachers think she seems very hyper and ‘excited.’ She’s running off when teachers challenge her or swearing at them. She was never like that before this year.

At the weekend she went for a walk and texted a charity helpline, saying she had no bed and was going to jump on the train tracks. We had taken her bed apart because a new double bed was coming on Monday. There was a spare bed upstairs for her. Dd knew this. The police arrived and I was able to show them dd’s location - she had tracking on her phone. They quickly assessed that she had a safe home and did, in fact, have a suitable bed. This was a reaction to being told off because she had bullied a student at school.

She was put in isolation at school for a nasty incident towards another student. She can sometimes be loving and calm. At other times she is very very high and erratic. School had to send her home today. She struggles to attend lessons. I don’t know where to go from here and feel utterly desperate.

OP posts:
WhoisRebecca · 10/10/2021 14:31

I will be more understanding with her - I think because she doesn’t talk about it, I haven’t thought about how it could still be really affecting her.

OP posts:
Mummapenguin20 · 10/10/2021 17:27

Im glad she has a understanding mum will make such a diffrence

WhoisRebecca · 11/10/2021 10:49

She’s had to be collected from school today because she’s been running around school refusing to follow any instructions.

OP posts:
WhoisRebecca · 11/10/2021 11:03

She’s saying she’s going to kill herself soon

OP posts:
MrsKrystalStubbs · 11/10/2021 11:09

Hi OP, my DS has autism with PDA, visit the PDA society website and see if any of the behaviour rings any bells. Best wishes to you and your DD.

Neonplant · 11/10/2021 11:17

I've read through your posts op. I think you're really right in your approach and thinking that it's mental health and you need to love and support her. Your husband (very typical man approach) to think you can discipline her out of a mental health crisis is laughably deluded. You need to be very very careful with how he is around her and how he influences you as it could have a long term impact on your relationship with her. She needs support not boundaries.

If she's saying she's going to kill herself you need crisis support. Can you contact the crisis team?

I have taken sertraline before and everyone dies react differently but this sounds like it's more than the medication. I'd raise possibile bipolar with the psychiatrist next time you speak.

This sounds really tough. Sending love

WhoisRebecca · 11/10/2021 11:24

The assistant head has said she’s never seen a year 11 behave like this before

OP posts:
WhoisRebecca · 11/10/2021 11:26

Would a and e be an option?

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 11/10/2021 11:30

Yes take her to A&E or call the local crisis team.

TatianaBis · 11/10/2021 11:33

You could call the private psychiatrist and see if she has an emergency appointment. Is the psychiatrist based at a Priory or a Nightingale and do you have health insurance to pay for a stay at the clinic?

If you’d be better off with the NHS. That has the advantage of a second opinion, medication review, and ongoing NHS support.

TatianaBis · 11/10/2021 11:34

If you’d be better off with the NHS.

If not you’d be better off with the NHS - that is meant to say.

Gonnagetgoing · 11/10/2021 11:44

Ok - when I was 12 onwards I had 'bouts' of anxiety, depression etc and was put on Valium, sleeping tablets and a drug called Largactil, the latter prescribed by psychiatrists - apparently prescribed for violent schizophrenics but sent me completely loopy, climbing the walls etc.

I actually had severe PMS coupled with possible undiagnosed thyroid issues.

I've had prozac prescribed when I was much older but luckily no side effects from it.

Definitely get her a second opinion - drugs can cause side effects and it may be she needs another drug, not this one.

Gonnagetgoing · 11/10/2021 11:45

@WhoisRebecca

Would a and e be an option?
Definitely go to A&E
Gonnagetgoing · 11/10/2021 11:46

@WhoisRebecca

The assistant head has said she’s never seen a year 11 behave like this before
You say she's 11?

My issues with hormones all started from 11 upwards. Puberty can really mess with hormones from my experience.

What helped for me - but not sure if this would help your DD and it was later (15 years) I had this - was going on the pill - which evened out my hormones.

Hand hold for you as I had a nightmare but it does get better honestly. Flowers

Gonnagetgoing · 11/10/2021 11:48

@WhoisRebecca

She’s saying she’s going to kill herself soon
At 11, I was more crying constantly but later I did want to kill myself (wouldn't have done it) - but only because I was so so frustrated at feeling so up and down, mood swings etc. Once on pill things got so much better, you would not believe.
Gingernaut · 11/10/2021 11:49

Year 11, @Gonnagetgoing.

She's between 14 and 16 years old.

Bexxe · 11/10/2021 11:49

I used to work in residential child care and this was pretty standard behaviour for the children we use to see.
(absolutely no comment or judgement on your parenting - this is just for info)

9/10 it was for attention, as any attention is better than no attention. Does she struggle with friendships? is she lonely in school?
Is she an only child? has there been anything to upset the balance lately?
essentially is there any logical reason you could think of that she may feel like her needs arent being met?

Another reason, is self-sabotage at happiness. Has their been any past history or some sort of trauma? A reason in which she doesnt believe she deserves happiness, or love or a 'normal' life?

Gonnagetgoing · 11/10/2021 11:51

@Gingernaut

Year 11, *@Gonnagetgoing*.

She's between 14 and 16 years old.

ah - year 11. She's still in puberty though. Prime age for hormonal issues.
Polkadots2021 · 11/10/2021 12:09

I don't know what sertraline is but googled known side effect and mania and hypomania are known side effects. I'm just a layperson but sounds like your daughter might be having hypomanic reaction?
www.verywellmind.com/zoloft-medication-profile-380792

Mummapenguin20 · 11/10/2021 12:23

111 and the criss team option they are fab x

DinosaurOfFire · 11/10/2021 12:31

If she has potentially both ADHD and ASD, it is possible that the sertraline is reducing her ASD traits and exacerbating the ADHD ones- it is also possible that she is not able to control her emotions as well as previously as perhaps she is not able to mask as well as previously due to the meds. I am autistic, and when I was on Sertraline (as an adult), I found they made me incredibly volatile- my anger would flare up at a moments notice, my emotions would either be flat or angry, the anger seemed to be a direct result of situations changing and being unpredictable, or of being challenged. And for much of my life before then (and after) I was not an angry person, in fact I am known for being "the calm one" amongst my friendship circle. I came off it in the end as a result. People with ASD do often react differently to medications than expected- some over and some underreact. It could very well be that the medication doesn't suit her- I am convinced for example that when I had sertraline the last time (pre autism diagnosis incidentally) that I was misdiagnosed with depression when actually I was totally overstimulated by various life circumstances and reaching autistic burnout/ shutdown which can be resolved with (sometimes quite drastic) lifestyle changes.

BingBongToTheMoon · 11/10/2021 12:31

I would either go to a&e or call 111.
Good luck.

WakeMeUpin22 · 11/10/2021 12:50

@Mummapenguin20

111 and the criss team option they are fab x
I agree with this.
moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 11/10/2021 13:02

Good luck OP, sounds like she's lucky to have you in her corner, hope you can get the help you need at A&E

FluffyWhiteBird · 11/10/2021 13:23

@WhoisRebecca

I thought she was wrong about adhd meds, but I guess I’ll get a second opinion with the private assessment we will have. She does drink energy drinks sometimes, she finds them helpful though I haven’t encouraged that!
There's a difference between giving someone with ADHD amphetamines to treat it, and giving amphetamines to someone with ADHD who's also bipolar ang experiencing a manic episode. I believe you'd need to stabilise the bipolar first before treating the ADHD. I'm guessing you psych is waiting to see if this is a reaction to sertraline and ceases with stopping that drug.

She’s very calm if she’s not challenged

Depending on what the eventual cause turns out to be, that could possibly be reworded as "she's calm when she's coping but has a meltdown when she isn't".