Boy wearing pink shoes

[bruntontrex]

My son is 3 and very much influenced by his big sister. He's never been told 'boys like blue and girls like pink' so he, quite rightly, assumes all clothing and shoes are freely used by all genders. He loves ballet tutus and flowery tops just as much as he loves dinosaur wellies and monster truck jumpers.
Recently he's acquired a pair of pink sparkly Lelly Kelly shoes which his sister grew out of last year. He has asked several times to wear them to nursery which we've allowed him to do without hesitation.

This morning my daughter tells me 'a girl at nursery was laughing because she said my brother was wearing my shoes' and it's broken my heart. Although these were his sisters shoes I'm 100% confident this comment is based on the fact that they are pink and not because she's seen my daughter wearing them- don't imagine a 4 year old would remember the footwear of her classmate 1 year on.

Some of my most traumatic memories as a child were being laughed at by other kids and I despise that this has happened to my child. In honesty, he has not seemed bothered by this and is quite happily wearing the shoes to nursery today, however AIBU for not safeguarding him from peer ridicule by letting him think that it's not 'different' for boys to wear 'girls' shoes?
Or alternatively, AIBU by overreacting to one comment?

You are setting your son up to fail. If you don't want kids to laugh at him, stop dressing him in his sister's clothes!

The sooner everyone teaches their children (and themselves!) that everyone is allowed to wear whatever they like and feel comfortable in without passing comment the better, IMO. Although it would be preferable if it conformed to decency standards, obviously.

All these regressive comments will just continue to perpetuate the ridiculous gender stereotype nonsense that has pervaded for far too long.

I also like GloGirl's response and agree that this IS the way forward.
Clothes are not inherently "gendered" - and if a boy wants to wear an item of clothing, then that becomes that boy's clothing and is therefore "boy clothes".

Age appropriate and decent - that's all they need to be. Coupled with the resilience to be able to answer "and?" or "so?" when challenged by ignorant people.

DS2 loved everything pink until he was about 11 or 12. In infant school he had pink wellies with butterflies on, a pink raincoat, and pink flowery wooly tights which he wore in winter under his school trousers. Of course the children asked him ‘why are you wearing a pink coat?’ To which his answer was ‘because it’s raining’. I didn’t coach him or talk to him about what others might think and I delighted in his straightforward answer when I heard him reply at home time.

Let’s hope your DS thinks the same. My DS now favours black (being nearly 17) but wouldn’t think twice about choosing pink if he saw something he fancied. If your DS sticks with the pink and sparkly then he does and, as long as he’s not upset, it’s his choice.

We also have rainbow Alice bands, sparkly hair clips and a certificate for the best accessorised player on the hockey pitch from when DS was 10.

My 4 year old remembers who of her friends has lelly kelly shoes so I think YABU

Not sure what you thought would happen to be honest - those shoes are pink sparkly and gaudy AF so of course he is going to be ridiculed

And yes it is "different" to let a boy wear those shoes

@WorraLiberty I'm not confusing sex and gender. The OP stated "all genders" What the heck is that supposed to mean. There are 2 genders, male and female.

I am pointing out that her son has a sex. That sex is male.

@MrsSkylerWhite

always2tired I wonder why so many posters on here say their son was exactly the same wanting to wear pink and sequins and then tell of their daughter wanting everything boyish? How many choices are influenced by the parents for both children to not conform to "normal" stereotypes of clothing. 🤔

Less I imagine than the number of children who are heavily influenced by parents who decide what is “appropriate” for girls and boys.

Our son had a friend who at 7 was told by his dad that he couldn’t go to dance class, because he didn’t want him turning out a “poof”. That was 11 years ago and I’d really hoped such ridiculous attitudes were long gone. Reading this thread, they clearly aren’t.

Less I imagine than the number of children who are heavily influenced by parents who decide what is “appropriate” for girls and boys.

So the OP daughter wore "girls" shoes so she influenced her into wearing them but let's her son have his own identity?