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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas Eve-how important is it to you?

174 replies

Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:21

Sorry to be bringing up the C word this early.

I live abroad with Dp and toddler. Due to covid etc, we won’t be returning to the U.K. for Xmas, didn’t last year either.
Dp’s workplace last year worked until 1 on Christmas eve and then went for Christmas lunch etc and ended up getting home around 6 pm.
Christmas eve is my favourite time and v exciting for our Dd. Last year, we waited for him to get home to eat and it was all a bit rushed and really not special at all.
His boss is older with no children
Aibu in thinking the workplace could finish the day before and have their special lunch then, even if it meant coming back to work a day earlier after Xmas (they take two weeks off)
It’s not a profession that *Has to work on Xmas eve for any reason at all

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 06/10/2021 22:46

In my last job there was no way we could all take Christmas Eve off. We were offered it in turns. Those who were working had to stay until at least 4pm. Sometimes it had to be later because of the job we did. Not everyone can take that day off to make it a family day.

Perhaps in future the manager might be open to booking the meal on a different day, but it may be too late this year.

Sn0tnose · 06/10/2021 23:06

I think it depends entirely on whether or not he’s being paid for the entire day. If his wages stop at 12pm and he’s obligated to spend the afternoon with his boss in his own time then I completely understand why you’re annoyed and I’d feel exactly the same.

If he’s being paid for the whole day then you are being beyond unreasonable. It’s a normal working day and he’s lucky he has a boss who is willing to pay him to sit in a restaurant for the afternoon rather than at his desk, irrespective of how busy they are. If he wants to be at home then he needs to book leave and arrange to be paid at a different time.

Also, his boss isn’t forcing drink down his throat. Your DH is not 14. He’s old enough not to succumb to peer pressure and to remember that he’s got a very excited child waiting at home for him and if he drinks so much that it makes him feel a bit ropey, your issue should be with him, not his boss.

farfallarocks · 06/10/2021 23:08

Very more important than Xmas day but im European!

maddening · 06/10/2021 23:22

It may use a days annual leave but dh could book it off and be home?

Pythonista · 06/10/2021 23:30

To be fair, from the bosses point of view, not everyone has children or wants to sit at home on Christmas Eve. It's a bit cheeky to try to get the boss to accommodate parents when it has clearly worked okay before your DP joined the company

Pythonista · 06/10/2021 23:31

[quote Boredofthinkingofaname]@dryasaboner It is on Christmas Eve when people would rather be with their children and families.[/quote]
You mean PARENTS - I don't know any non-parents who would be bothered.

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 23:44

@Pythonista Before Dd came along I still wouldn’t have wanted to spend my Xmas eve at a works lunch

OP posts:
Pythonista · 06/10/2021 23:46

[quote Boredofthinkingofaname]@Pythonista Before Dd came along I still wouldn’t have wanted to spend my Xmas eve at a works lunch[/quote]
Well that's fine but it's the company culture where he is. So he either accepts it or gets another job . Because if he books every Christmas Eve off, he's not going to be very popular!

Pythonista · 06/10/2021 23:47

Although I did laugh at someone's suggestion that if he didn't go, maybe the boss would reschedule in the future Grin

Hydrate · 06/10/2021 23:48

Sorry you are not happy with your DJ's having to work Xmas Eve. Maybe next year he can just nibble a small bit of the work lunch food and not drink or nurse one drink, so he can go home to eat with you.

However, my dh worked through many holidays, I just carried on, did the same stuff, whether he was working or not. He never attended any work social functions, (we did once and left after 2 hours, we only went because his dad was getting an award, and left once the dancing began)

Hydrate · 06/10/2021 23:53

PS I didn't like it, but made the best of it.

Porcupineintherough · 06/10/2021 23:57

Christmas Eve is a working day in my organisation. Either you work it or book it as holiday, I think a staff meal sounds nice.

JJ123456 · 06/10/2021 23:59

I love Christmas Eve - as much as Christmas Day. It’s part of the excitement when you have a family.

EdwinaLIzzard · 07/10/2021 00:14

I love Christmas Eve, it is also my daughters birthday, so absolutely nothing would ever get in the way of our special celebrations, we have developed our own traditions and would never ever work on that day

MistyGreenAndBlue · 07/10/2021 01:37

You haven't said how your DH feels about it.
Only that YOU don't like it.

Maybe he doesn't mind really.

JustLyra · 07/10/2021 01:52

I think it’s really tactless off his boss to do that when Christmas Eve is the main day where you live.

That’s the kind of thing that gives Brits abroad a bad name. Can you imagine a foreign boss here trying to make people work late on Christmas Day because that wasn’t his traditional celebration day?!

Nightbringer · 07/10/2021 05:12

The way you frame this is important. You seem to think that if there was no lunch, they would finish at lunchtime. But that doesn't appear to be the case

In the company, its clearly a working daym instead of stayinf in the office all day, he takes them for something to eat. If the meal wasnt something they did, he would likely be actually in the office in the afternoon instead.

Its not a choice between spend the afternoon at home and spending it having a meal with colleagues. It's having a meal with colleagues or working in the office.

If time off at Christmas is a massive deal to your family and will be when you want to come to the UK for Christmas and he can't book it off, it's not the job for him and he needs to look for something else. It's really that simple.

Christmas is something I always enquire about at a prospective employers. Because its important to me.

My employer has 2 days a year where they take everyone out, people from other offices can attend and they pay for hotels. Its all expenses paid from taxis to drink. Anyone who doesn't want to attend can work instead or take the day annual leave.

If I really objected to either having to work alone or be forced to take annual leave or attend the event, I would just need to look for a new job.

But also you seem to be completely ignoring your husbands role in this. He drank too much. He left at 5pm. O am sure he cod have left earlier. It's October and he hasn't tried to book it off or resolve it at all.

I suspect he does think it's a bit of a pain, but really enjoys it also and wants to attend.

Nightbringer · 07/10/2021 05:17

Also not sure how ots the 'main day' in ops country and yet also an official working day.

In countries where it is the main day for everyone, is it not usually classed as a non working day?

garlictwist · 07/10/2021 05:51

Christmas Eve is a normal working day in the uk. I work in a university and it's business as usual until about 5 which I always find annoying as there are no students that time of year.

Tbh I would love to go out with colleagues on Christmas Eve as I don't have a family so usually just spend it sitting in the house alone.

Pikamoo · 07/10/2021 06:28

Not sure what you're hoping for OP as you just keep posting the same thing over and over. Is it annoying that the staff Christmas meal is on Christmas Eve? Yes, for sure. But you've been given plenty of ideas and suggestions (mostly relying on your DH's actions, not yours...). If they're not workable then you either need to suck it up and make the best of it or DH finds a new job.

Hillary17 · 07/10/2021 07:08

Depending how it falls, we usually work until lunch time unless you book it off. Nobody does though, because we have a great time! Excitement with work friends, a few drinks, early finish and a nibble! Most of the people in my office mark Christmas Eve as the best day of the year to work - even those with kids Grin

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 07/10/2021 07:24

@residentkaleidoscope

Christmas Eve is my daughters birthday so very important.
But presumably you/your partner would still go to work if you were required to, like all other parents do on their children’s birthdays?
Augusta1 · 07/10/2021 07:40

When the children were young, my DH always worked on Xmas Eve. We'd meet friends at a soft play centre or go to the cinema with them. Then I'd take them for tea at Burger King (a rare treat) and we'd arrive home just in time for DH coming home at 5.30. DH & I would have a meal together once the kids were in bed. It worked well for all of us.

Christmas1988 · 07/10/2021 07:40

Can your DH book it off as a holiday day?

Wazzzzzzzup · 07/10/2021 07:42

@Pikamoo

Not sure what you're hoping for OP as you just keep posting the same thing over and over. Is it annoying that the staff Christmas meal is on Christmas Eve? Yes, for sure. But you've been given plenty of ideas and suggestions (mostly relying on your DH's actions, not yours...). If they're not workable then you either need to suck it up and make the best of it or DH finds a new job.
I agree with this. For me it's cultural. My Christmas Eve is the main event. Some people fast throught the day to see the golden pig (imho hallucinations from hunger😁). So yes, I want it off whatever the cost. Same way like my other colleagues have their cultural celebrations off, which I happily cover. For example I used to cover good Friday and Easter Sunday while colleagues covered me on Monday because that's my Easter when I was in hospitality. I gave more cover to fasting colleagues during ramadan or colleagues celebrating Diwali and many more events.

Usually there is lots of levy when it is actually important day to a person, but it is different though if it is just a nice day for someone, not culturally important one, somewhere where it is still a working day, iyswim.