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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas Eve-how important is it to you?

174 replies

Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:21

Sorry to be bringing up the C word this early.

I live abroad with Dp and toddler. Due to covid etc, we won’t be returning to the U.K. for Xmas, didn’t last year either.
Dp’s workplace last year worked until 1 on Christmas eve and then went for Christmas lunch etc and ended up getting home around 6 pm.
Christmas eve is my favourite time and v exciting for our Dd. Last year, we waited for him to get home to eat and it was all a bit rushed and really not special at all.
His boss is older with no children
Aibu in thinking the workplace could finish the day before and have their special lunch then, even if it meant coming back to work a day earlier after Xmas (they take two weeks off)
It’s not a profession that *Has to work on Xmas eve for any reason at all

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:26

@Alexand23 It’s just him and his partner.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:30

@UndertheCedartree He like all the others feel they *Have to go, it’s not given as an option to them and the boss makes a small speech, gives bonuses etc, it makes them feel they can’t miss it.
The boss was buying all the drinks and it’s Christmas, of course they all drank a fair amount!

OP posts:
InFiveMins · 06/10/2021 19:31

Christmas Eve is my favourite day of the year. The excitement, the build up, the TV programmes...I love it 😍

Tanfastic · 06/10/2021 19:31

I love Christmas Eve but when you work for the NHS you unfortunately have to take turns with your colleagues. I had it last year so very much doubt I'll get it again this year 😟

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:32

@ShowOfHands The meal and celebrations etc lasted that long, of course they’re all going to have a good drink

Yes, police man is a different profession, as I said, his isn’t one that needs to be worked, it doesn’t make any difference which day they work, in fact, the morning they came in, he said they did sod all and he felt it was pointless

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Rannva · 06/10/2021 19:34

Sounds like a shit old-fashioned job full of kissing the boss's arse. I don't work in that kind of industry and frankly, nor should anyone anymore - it's so dated and workers surely know they don't have to behave that way now.

Disgusting to spend Christmas Eve away from his young family. He needs to grow up and stop being such an arselicker.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 06/10/2021 19:36

I always work Christmas Eve if it falls in the week - it's a nice atmosphere and we are usually allowed to knock off a couple of hours early.

ShowOfHands · 06/10/2021 19:38

Of course he doesn't have to get drunk to the point of being ill. What does he want to do about the whole thing?

I was explaining that dh is regularly not around at Christmas and it's still special. It doesn't have to be "sad" without him. Either he wants to ask or he doesn't. If not, don't write off the day.

PermanentTemporary · 06/10/2021 19:39

I thought I was going to disagree with you but agree this is really annoying.

It isn't compulsory to drink. You could ask him not to. He'll say he has to but he doesn't. He could also make a proposal to his boss tat they have eg a New Year meal, or the week before Christmas meal. But he won't if it's not important to him.

I semi-choose to work on Christmas Eve now, which I don't like as it's my favourite day of the year. But I do it because there has to be a service (hospital job) and my colleagues have much younger children than I. My bosses would never think that work socialising is more important than really big family events.

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:39

@Rannva But what can he do? They’re all
expected to work that day and then it’s unsaid but obviously expected to attend the meal, which he pays for, so it’s held over them. How hard to be the only one to not participate in the festivities, I get it

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sbhydrogen · 06/10/2021 19:41

Christmas Eve is really important to me and my family, we have a whole load of traditions that I'd never want to skip.
Can't your DH's work do lunch on a different day?

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:43

@PermanentTemporary Exactly, I can’t see how the boss doesn’t realise that?
Every workplace I’ve ever been, they’ve done the Christmas do the weekend before for example.
Ok if they *Have to work that morning (they don’t as nothing was done) but to do the huge meal too, plus it was ages away from us and Dp had to arrange lifts and all sorts, was a right faff.

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Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:43

@sbhydrogen That’s what I think? Boss said it’s always on Xmas eve

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thinkbiglittleone · 06/10/2021 19:45

I used to have a boss like this, wanted all his people around him, it was just one big ego boost for him. I need played a part in it, he did the same on Christmas Eve.
I never attended his meals or early darts for drinks, I went to work and came home, he hated that I didn't bow down to his offers like the others, but we got on well and I think he respected me for it as it didn't hinder my promotions.

You husband can't be forced to go for a meal, he may be forced to work the day, as it is a working day. It may put a downer on your Christmas Eve, but I know loads of offices that don't close early.

Is it not the case that he had the choice of work in the office or go out either the boss and he "reluctantly" goes out with the boss. He could go out with the boss and still come home early, sober.

DeepaBeesKit · 06/10/2021 19:47

Yanbu..everywhere I've ever worked has had a half day on Christmas Eve and anyone who is in dashes straight home at lunch time.

Christmas eve is the best bit!

BoredZelda · 06/10/2021 19:47

Anyone who thinks they should work on Christmas Eve when their business doesn’t demand it, is not doing any of the Christmas planning

Give hims a list of Christmas chores, then see how important his works do is. I haven’t been to one for years.

DeepaBeesKit · 06/10/2021 19:48

Oh and the work lunch is always well before christmas too..many of my colleagues stop from 21st/22nd, the work do or lunch is often around the 12th-18th.

BoredZelda · 06/10/2021 19:48

He can book it as a day’s holiday.

Hoolihan · 06/10/2021 19:49

Christmas Eve is literally the best day of the year. Would HATE to have to work and never do.

Holothane · 06/10/2021 19:49

As a child the magic started when it got dark not before, it’s a working day in the uk. When I worked we finished at four.

Neonplant · 06/10/2021 19:49

I love Christmas eve. Its really important to us I always take it off. Especially after having years of working retail and having to work.

BarbaraofSeville · 06/10/2021 19:51

Your DP could suggest to his boss that they do the Christmas lunch and drinks on the 23rd and have the holiday from the 24th to whenever. It might not have occurred to them up to now.

I'm child free but have never worked Christmas Eve. It's not 'special' in any particular way, but its nice to spend the time doing the last minute food shop, starting to prepare food and relaxing for the holiday so I always take leave on that day, even though the people that work get to do a short day and it's always very quiet because many clients are off and people are leaving things until after the holiday. Basically if its not sorted by 21/22 Dec
it can wait until the new year.

mostlydrinkstea · 06/10/2021 19:53

When I worked in the corporate world we knocked off at 4pm if we were lucky. In the public sector we worked normal hours so there was a stampeded for the door at 5pm. It would be lovely to get a half day on Christmas Eve but it is my busiest day now. We celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day.

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:56

@BarbaraofSeville Yes, I don’t think it’s even especially about having kids (obviously it’s very special for them) but I loved it before and saw it as a special, magical time or at least a time to either get drunk at the pub when younger or cuddle up with Dp/see family etc. It just seems crappy to have that day when anything from Boxing Day to new year would be better to take off for us

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Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 06/10/2021 19:58

Very unusual to have your work Christmas meal on Xmas Eve even if it’s a working day. In my experience most employers either have a formal finish earlier or a causal wind down with most people leaving between 3pm and 5pm.