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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas Eve-how important is it to you?

174 replies

Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:21

Sorry to be bringing up the C word this early.

I live abroad with Dp and toddler. Due to covid etc, we won’t be returning to the U.K. for Xmas, didn’t last year either.
Dp’s workplace last year worked until 1 on Christmas eve and then went for Christmas lunch etc and ended up getting home around 6 pm.
Christmas eve is my favourite time and v exciting for our Dd. Last year, we waited for him to get home to eat and it was all a bit rushed and really not special at all.
His boss is older with no children
Aibu in thinking the workplace could finish the day before and have their special lunch then, even if it meant coming back to work a day earlier after Xmas (they take two weeks off)
It’s not a profession that *Has to work on Xmas eve for any reason at all

OP posts:
Comedycook · 06/10/2021 19:58

@Tanfastic

I love Christmas Eve but when you work for the NHS you unfortunately have to take turns with your colleagues. I had it last year so very much doubt I'll get it again this year 😟
Not just the NHS. Plenty of bog standard office jobs in the private sector make you work Christmas Eve too!
Recycledblonde · 06/10/2021 19:59

When my kids were small DH worked as a finance manager for a high end boutique in the west end. Christmas Eve the shops were open until 6pm and DH had to lock up so was there until the bitter end. There were never any customers but the big boss couldn’t let the remote possibility of a small sale escape his greedy paws. Boss wasn’t there of course, he was at home.
DH was never home before 8pm so Xmas Eve was all down to me. It made me so cross.

Furrydogmum · 06/10/2021 20:00

We have Christmas Dinner on Christmas eve. My DH's company don't finish early on Christmas eve! Historically he has booked hols or a half day to be here to help me - we feed 17 or so people on Christmas eve! I love Christmas eve, but last year with no external guests was fabulous!! Wink

Glitterazzi · 06/10/2021 20:01

[quote Boredofthinkingofaname]@Nightbringer That’s the thing though, the obligation for the meal, the pressure of it as boss is paying and then pays bonuses during it.

Do you think he should ask him if he can take Xmas eve off and work other days to make up for it, explaining how important it is as a family, especially since we’re in another country alone[/quote]
I would make it clear to your OH it isn't an option! It's a family day. Fine to work until 1pm but not eat dinner etc. As soon as the boss has kids (if he has kids) he would realise how unreasonable it is to ask this of his staff.

Newusernamelalala · 06/10/2021 20:03

I agree it’s selfish of the boss. He should understand that people want to get home to their families, especially with young children. Christmas Eve is magical

godmum56 · 06/10/2021 20:07

[quote Boredofthinkingofaname]**@UndertheCedartree* He like all the others feel they Have to go, it’s not given as an option to them and the boss makes a small speech, gives bonuses etc, it makes them feel they can’t miss it.
The boss was buying all the drinks and it’s Christmas, of course they all drank a fair amount![/quote]
not an excuse or reason for arriving home ill from drink

Dogegg33 · 06/10/2021 20:11

Do you think your husband's boss may be lonely- does he have family of his own? Could be that's the motivation behind his plans.

dryasaboner · 06/10/2021 20:16

I know in an ideal world everyone would be at home with their family but if he's paid to work until a certain time but the boss would rather them have a meal instead but is still paying them for being at work there's nothing anyone can do and 'suggesting ' it's done a different day is really quite cheeky. He could make them sit in an office manning the phones or checking emails instead

ilovesooty · 06/10/2021 20:20

@dryasaboner

I know in an ideal world everyone would be at home with their family but if he's paid to work until a certain time but the boss would rather them have a meal instead but is still paying them for being at work there's nothing anyone can do and 'suggesting ' it's done a different day is really quite cheeky. He could make them sit in an office manning the phones or checking emails instead
That's the salient point. If it's during paid working hours management can say what you do within those hours, and whether you can take annual leave or not.

Complaining that it's a family day isn't necessarily going to cut it if your employer regards it as a standard working day which in practical terms it is.

Mommabear20 · 06/10/2021 20:25

Christmas Eve it's just as important as Christmas Day to me! Tbf I have more traditions for Christmas Eve then Christmas Day so it's extra special for us to be together.

residentkaleidoscope · 06/10/2021 20:26

Christmas Eve is my daughters birthday so very important.

BelindaCinder · 06/10/2021 20:26

Your husband needs to be tougher with his boss. He needs to book the day off the way most of us do.

dryasaboner · 06/10/2021 20:26

@Mommabear20

Christmas Eve it's just as important as Christmas Day to me! Tbf I have more traditions for Christmas Eve then Christmas Day so it's extra special for us to be together.
And if you are able to great- if you can't you make the best of it.
dryasaboner · 06/10/2021 20:28

@BelindaCinder

Your husband needs to be tougher with his boss. He needs to book the day off the way most of us do.
It's a good job most of us don't. But I forget MN isn't like real life where people are keyworkers and do jobs that don't have POETS day and winding down three days before Christmas.
MadeOfStarStuff · 06/10/2021 20:31

Working is normal, but not normal to have a work Christmas lunch/party on Christmas Eve!

But if it’s a business that takes 2 weeks off then generally I would expect Christmas Eve to be included in the 2 weeks.

Lightisnotwhite · 06/10/2021 20:32

The boss loves Christmas Eve too. That’s why he’s sending his staff off with a bang.
There’s no reason your DH can’t leave a bit early 5pm.It’s a normal working day. Cab’t he enjoy a nice lunch with his firm?
Christmas Eve is about the “ night” . Later bedtime , Midnight Mass etc etc.

Worldwide2 · 06/10/2021 20:39

Oh I love Christmas eve, it's so festive and exciting. Yummy food, Christmas films and all the excitement. My partner is from an eu country and its the main event so we have a special dinner and gifts which I love as it's now 2 Xmass in this household.
Can you not get your partner to explain to his boss that he can work but will miss the dinner as his family have something planned? Can't see it being that difficult to ask. I doubt he will take offence especially this early on. Don't Spring it on him in December.

dryasaboner · 06/10/2021 20:40

@Worldwide2

Oh I love Christmas eve, it's so festive and exciting. Yummy food, Christmas films and all the excitement. My partner is from an eu country and its the main event so we have a special dinner and gifts which I love as it's now 2 Xmass in this household. Can you not get your partner to explain to his boss that he can work but will miss the dinner as his family have something planned? Can't see it being that difficult to ask. I doubt he will take offence especially this early on. Don't Spring it on him in December.
But if the dinner is part of his working day how can he ask not to attend?
Lady1576 · 06/10/2021 20:42

I’m from a culture where Christmas Eve is THE celebration but I’m really surprised at all the British people here saying it’s the best day / most special day. I always thought that in the UK Christmas Eve was just for going out and getting pissed. Obviously this changes with kids, which is why the comments are so different to what I was expecting. In the UK Christmas Day is the special day….. without a doubt, even if you may like the traditions you’ve created like hot chocolate in front of the telly. That’s not the real Christmas tradition is it? If your boss is child free British, he may genuinely not realise how important it is for families, even British ones, so I would consider a group of your husband’s colleagues gently explaining to him. It sounds like this event might be a highlight for him and he thinks he’s making people happy. He might be genuinely disappointed or upset to know people can’t wait to leave… Lastly bonuses being tied to being around at a particular cultural party event with religious links is totally unethical and can’t really be a way to force attendance. I’m really surprised a British boss wouldn’t know this.

ItsSunnyOutside · 06/10/2021 20:43

It is bizarre that your dhs boss planned that on Christmas eve. I think if he had kids, he probably would not have done that?

Christmas eve is a big deal in our family too. We always go for a walk, then a pub lunch, then we go home and get settled in, put Christmas films on, chocolates out etc. Our dd is 2, so Christmas is even more special for us.

Is this something dh can discuss with his boss? It's quite alot to expect from someone, considering many people like to take Xmas eve off as day off (if they can)

YouTubeAddict · 06/10/2021 20:44

I always take Christmas Eve as annual leave. It’s just such a lovely day and a nice start to the festivities 🎅

HeyFloof · 06/10/2021 21:00

I love Christmas eve, it's the best! Last minute prepping, the Christmas eve box and new pj's, the crib service at church! But I can't remember one where dh has been off and about. He's had to work Christmas eve (and Christmas day) before now.

Although last year it was a blessing when DS (just turned 4 at the time) announced with absolute certainty at 7:30pm that Santa was going to bring him a torch, having never previously mentioned it. Dh was able to get one from a garage on the way home! Ho ho ho! 🎅

fluffi · 06/10/2021 21:00

YABU. Your OH should take annual leave if you want to spend the day as a family rather than at work. Christmas Eve is a normal working day. I don't think boss is being unreasonable with the current practice. The staff only have to work half the day, get a nice leisurely lunch and be home by the same time as if they worked at their desks for the full day.

Also I'm surprised so many people are saying its Christmas Eve is magical and relaxing, I always book the day off work to prep for Christmas day, it tends to be a full on day, prepping, cleaning, cooking, baking! Do everyone do their prep on the 23rd instead?

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 06/10/2021 21:03

I like Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day.

I find it unfathomable ANYONE would want to spend Christmas Eve with their colleagues over their young children.

YANBU.

HelloDulling · 06/10/2021 21:10

He needs to either book the time off, or perhaps be brave and talk to the boss. If he had no kids of his own, he might think it’s nice for them all to work a half day then have a boozy lunch. Certainly, before I had DC I always worked until midday on Xmas Eve, then went to the pub.