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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas Eve-how important is it to you?

174 replies

Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:21

Sorry to be bringing up the C word this early.

I live abroad with Dp and toddler. Due to covid etc, we won’t be returning to the U.K. for Xmas, didn’t last year either.
Dp’s workplace last year worked until 1 on Christmas eve and then went for Christmas lunch etc and ended up getting home around 6 pm.
Christmas eve is my favourite time and v exciting for our Dd. Last year, we waited for him to get home to eat and it was all a bit rushed and really not special at all.
His boss is older with no children
Aibu in thinking the workplace could finish the day before and have their special lunch then, even if it meant coming back to work a day earlier after Xmas (they take two weeks off)
It’s not a profession that *Has to work on Xmas eve for any reason at all

OP posts:
TumtumTree · 06/10/2021 18:51

YANBU to feel sad about this - I would too. But it sounds like it could be a bit tricky for DH to bring this up with his boss. If the boss pays for everyone, gives out a small bonus etc, it is hard for DH to dictate the terms.

Comedycook · 06/10/2021 18:51

It's not important to me...I'm usually busy doing chores for the main event

Basilandparsleyandmint · 06/10/2021 18:52

I love Christmas Eve too but my dh works in the veg industry and each Christmas Eve they are flat out until around 2pm so kind of know where you are coming from. Perhaps see if he can just come home after work or like others have suggested just book the day off.
When mine were little we always booked a Christmas film at cinema or gone for a lovely walk in woods then make mince pies or cookies for Santa in the morning or after lunch to make it feel Christmassy. Then we do a picky tea with some nice grown up bits too with wine.
I hope you find at least a compromise Smile

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:52

@Somethingsnappy It’s like that where we live now. We stay with our tradition of opening presents Xmas day, but many of his colleagues don’t and I’m sure it must make their Christmas Eve pretty shit!

OP posts:
SuperStarRose · 06/10/2021 18:52

Why can't your DP and the others just tell him that Christmas Eve is more special for their country than Christmas Day and then I'm sure he'll change the day.

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:53

It also worries me as if we want to go back at Xmas when covid settles down, how can we, wouldn’t be able to be there with family for Christmas Day

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Nightbringer · 06/10/2021 18:54

I think its fairly common to work Christmas eve in the UK. So I guess the boss is sticking to his traditions on that. Its not a tradition.

But By the time he got in, it was almost DD’s bedtime, he was pretty ill from drinking too much, just wasn’t nice.

That's yours dhs fault. He didn't have to drink til he became ill.

Its really disappointing that it doesn't suit. But your dh does have options and I am sure he won't be there forever.

Do you think he should ask him if he can take Xmas eve off and work other days to make up for it, explaining how important it is as a family, especially since we’re in another country alone

He can try. Or say he can go and leave earlier.

chipsandpeas · 06/10/2021 18:54

i think its quite nice of his boss
some people have to work all day 9-5 on xmas eve and cant take it as holiday

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:55

@SuperStarRose I think they should. He should really know that, living here. I don’t get why he’d want to spend his day doing that either though

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:56

@chipsandpeas It’s very nice with the meal
etc and he’s a very fair boss and person..just not it being on Christmas Eve

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Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 18:59

Just looking at the calendar on the off chance it falls on a Saturday, it’s Friday this year 😣

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Wazzzzzzzup · 06/10/2021 18:59

[quote Boredofthinkingofaname]@dryasaboner But doesn’t it seem bizarre that the boss would want this? Doesn’t he realise families may want to be together, especially with small kids?[/quote]
Not if it isn't the main Christmas day there.
Mine is and so far I always managed to get off in UK, but if it isn't your or their culture, than people often treat it as a normal, though more relaxed, work day. That's it

UndertheCedartree · 06/10/2021 19:02

Christmas Eve is my favourite day of Christmas. However, personally I've always like special time just me and my DC. We wouldn't eat til 6 anyway. The most special bit is hanging the stockings and putting out the mince pie etc which he would be home for. We also have to watch Muppets Christmas Carol in the evening too!

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:02

@Wazzzzzzzup I’ve always seen it as a non working day and a pretty special day

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ilovesooty · 06/10/2021 19:05

It's a working day. If the boss is paying for this meal I doubt if your husband can suggest having it another time. He could try booking leave but anyone who asks for leave should be given equal treatment - allocating and approving leave shouldn't be dependent on whether you have children or not.
In my last job we were usually allowed to leave at 4pm but myself and another childless colleague then had a long drive to spend Christmas with elderly parents who lived alone.

ilovesooty · 06/10/2021 19:07

At the very least though your husband could not drink and arrive home in a fit state to engage with the family.

HettySunshine · 06/10/2021 19:12

Yanbu. Christmas Eve is my favourite time too. Working until lunchtime is one thing but going out with colleagues for hours afterwards is not on.

Alexand23 · 06/10/2021 19:17

I absolutely love Christmas Eve but accept some years I have to work it (in my last job sometimes Christmas Day and Boxing Day too). This year I might have it off but DH is working it, he won't be home till about 8pm which is a shame.
In your case, I would be annoyed as his boss could easily do the meal another day- does his boss have a family of his own? I think your DH should see if it is possible to either not go or leave early.

UndertheCedartree · 06/10/2021 19:17

Your DH drinking too much is an issue you should have with him not his boss! Maybe he isn't so interested in spending all of CE with you? As for your DC's bedtime - can't she stay up a little late as it's a special occasion?

Doggydoodah123 · 06/10/2021 19:17

I agree, my husbands boss always makes him work on Christmas Eve and it really spoils things for me and our children. It's a special day for us and it pisses me off that DH has to work. He ends up using his holiday to take the day off which then means we can't use it somewhere else. I can't see why they can't close the office on the 23rd.

nosyupnorth · 06/10/2021 19:19

It's christmas eve, not christmas mid-afternoon or christmas day part 1.

If you're from a culture that does their main celebration on the 24th then the onus is on your DH to book the day off to accomodate that, not the entire company to rearrange around him.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 06/10/2021 19:20

YANBU, I love Christmas eve. My workplace closes at about lunch time on the 23rd and we don't go back until January, I'd hate to work somewhere that had to work over Christmas now.

Original poster
Boredofthinkingofaname · 06/10/2021 19:24

@ilovesooty I’m sure they all want to have it off, regardless of situation. I’m not saying anything about those with kids deserving to have it off more. I spent many years without children and would’ve been just as upset (perhaps more so) to be on my own the majority of Xmas eve

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LaurieFairyCake · 06/10/2021 19:25

It's way better than Christmas Day

I would never work it - its for nice food, the fire and candles and Patrick Stewart as Scrooge followed a Carol service

ShowOfHands · 06/10/2021 19:26

I adore Christmas Eve but am married to a police officer. This year is the very first time he's going to be off on Christmas Day in his entire career. Our eldest is 14 and we've never had a family Christmas where he's been there for the whole thing. I focus not on what I can't change but what I can. So it's always special and we shift stuff round to accommodate and celebrate within the parameters of work.

Getting pissed to the point of being ill and staying from lunch till 6pm drinking is not the boss's doing though.