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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:17

@ChaoBella plenty of people can afford £500 with thinking about it.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:17

WITHOUT

Maharajah20 · 05/10/2021 23:17

@WormYourHonour

Lovely young men.. one that throws tantrums over not getting complete wastes of money...

My daughter is 8, she doesn't tantrum over not getting meaningless expensive shite.

Your daughter is 8..... come back when she is 18! You don’t know yet what she will want. 🤷‍♀️ My daughter didn’t throw tantrums over meaningless expensive shite when she was 8 either When she was 18 she owned a lovely. expensive Gucci belt though 😂

And she would love a LV bag!!

Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 23:18

@ChaoBella

I think it’s a pretty straightforward statement. Parents spend what they can afford, whether that’s £50 or £500

So you are saying people will willingly spend £500 even if that pushes their bank account to zero until the next pay day?

So people really do that?

Huh? What’s ambiguous about ‘afford’?
minou123 · 05/10/2021 23:19

[quote DaphneDeloresMoorhead]@minou123 that is hilarious. My dad would be exactly the same. Despite rolling in it he's as tight fisted as a con man[/quote]
We have the same dad Grin

Rolling in it, but holds on to his wallet like his life depends on it.

CardinalCat · 05/10/2021 23:20

I'd buy it for him. If it's good quality and likely to last a long time then it's a good investment for a young person to have a decent clothing item like this. I'd much rather spend £400 on a good belt than on a couple of pairs of jeans or other more transient items. I think you're trying to impress your own ideas on him which isn't really in the spirit of gift giving.

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 23:20

@WormYourHonour

Who had a tantrum?

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money.
He did.. like a child.. I bet he stomped his foot too..

Which led too..
It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking
You all need to pull your heads out your backsides..

You don’t sound very pleasant are you unhappy with your life?
OP posts:
tolerable · 05/10/2021 23:20

yabu.
if you gifted them £500 each.they could presumeably-buy themselves what wanted. you set a limit.and are now adding conditions.
and thats crappy.
who do you answer to.as the parents.you do whatchu please?surely?

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/10/2021 23:21

It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do.
He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:21

That's why they're rolling in it @minou123

ChaoBella · 05/10/2021 23:22

Huh? What’s ambiguous about ‘afford’

Because in my circles afford means afford in relation to overall financial situation.

No way would I spend my last £500 on childrens presents. I would not even do that if I was down to my last £10,000

minou123 · 05/10/2021 23:22

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

That's why they're rolling in it *@minou123*
Grin

Lesson I've learnt from him.

No more £8 pair of knickers for me.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:23

@MrsSkylerWhite

It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do. He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.
Why ? Maybe he'll always be really happy he bought it. I bought a reasonably expensive handbag the year before last (£450) abd it still makes me happy every single day.
QuestionEverythingBaby · 05/10/2021 23:23

@Joystir59

£500 each for Christmas is ridiculously spoilt. You've created a spoilt man child.

What a ridiculous thing to say. We spoil our kids at Christmas and Birthdays but they get very little the rest of the year and are certainly not spoilt.
You have no idea if OP's DS is spoilt or not and these days £500 isn't really that much especially with teenagers.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:24

But nobody is suggesting the OP is down to her last £500 are they ? She says quite clearly they have a good income and can easily afford it, Why are you making stuff up ?

WormYourHonour · 05/10/2021 23:25

You don’t sound very pleasant are you unhappy with your life?

Neither do you, and I'm not the one starting Mumsnet threads about arguments..
Are you unhappy with your life and how materialistic your kids have become?

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 23:26

@WormYourHonour

You don’t sound very pleasant are you unhappy with your life?

Neither do you, and I'm not the one starting Mumsnet threads about arguments..
Are you unhappy with your life and how materialistic your kids have become?

Ok then 😂
OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 05/10/2021 23:27

DaphneDeloresMoorhead

MrsSkylerWhite
It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do.
He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.
Why ? Maybe he'll always be really happy he bought it. I bought a reasonably expensive handbag the year before last (£450) abd it still makes me happy every single day.“

Fair point, each to their own I guess.

Holyridonkulus · 05/10/2021 23:28

I'd be happy if that's what my child wanted, there are far worse things they could spend their earned money on

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:29

@PegorySpeck
I'm glad you appear to have a good resolution to the situation. I'm sure working to earn the money will make the belt extra special. You certainly appreciate things a lot more when you've put in the work.

WormYourHonour · 05/10/2021 23:29

But it sounds like your issue is with Op being generous to her son. If it were a daughter would you be so put out? Do you have a brother? Were you treated unfairly compared to him?

Lol.
Recognised forum tactic No 148.71
Good try tho.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 05/10/2021 23:29

It wouldn’t even occur to me to tell my dc what to spend their wages on 🤷‍♀️ I might say no to a gift request if I felt it was particularly poor value for money though. This is the age where they get to learn and make mistakes when the stakes are fairly low, better than later when they have a mortgage and bills to pay.

QuestionEverythingBaby · 05/10/2021 23:30

@WormYourHonour

You don’t sound very pleasant are you unhappy with your life?

Neither do you, and I'm not the one starting Mumsnet threads about arguments..
Are you unhappy with your life and how materialistic your kids have become?

Jealous much? 😂

LoisWilkers · 05/10/2021 23:30

waste of money, tell him to do one!

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:31

@MrsSkylerWhite

DaphneDeloresMoorhead

MrsSkylerWhite
It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do.
He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.
Why ? Maybe he'll always be really happy he bought it. I bought a reasonably expensive handbag the year before last (£450) abd it still makes me happy every single day.“

Fair point, each to their own I guess.

Wash your mouth out with soap @MrsSkylerWhite ! This is MN, you aren't meant to agree to disagree 🤣