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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 05/10/2021 22:31

My son was the same at that age, designer belts, wallets, shoes and of course clothes. I never saw the point, but it was his allowance or gift choice.
Amazingly, he sold many of the belts and wallets a few years on and made money on them.
Your son is actually working to buy the belt, his money, his choice.

MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 22:31

@PaperhouseLegs

So you object to a belt...but not expensive vodka at 17?! Is this a wind up post?
Yeah I think it must be.
Needsleep32 · 05/10/2021 22:31

What did you buy his brother?

MyDogLovesBiscuits · 05/10/2021 22:31

So you spent £330 on tracksuit and trainers that will last a year or two at most plus expensive alcohol that will not last even a year plus "loads" of other stuff for him but you didn't want to waste money on a designer belt that is well made, will last and hold it's value? Hmm

Okie dokie then, well I'm going to quietly slip away now... Grin

expatmigrant · 05/10/2021 22:31

@sommernacht89
Don't come on these threads then. Wouldn't want you to throw up on our account Grin

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 22:33

[quote Abigail12345654321]@PegorySpeck

Ah so you’ve already used a lot of the Christmas gift budget? Does he know that?[/quote]
Yeah we’ve stopped arguing about the belt, as long as I spend the same on him and his brother that’s the main thing. He now knows I’d already got some stuff. He’s fine with buying it himself- I think he was more put out that we thought he had bad taste and were mocking him 😂

He’s just spoken to his boss and is doing extra hours at work and said from next Friday he’ll be bringing home close on £300 week so he’ll just get it himself in a couple of weeks.

He’s going to save towards a car after he’s got the belt, but he knows he has a lot of money in a trust fund he’ll get when he’s 18 so he’s not too bothered about how much he saves

OP posts:
Needsleep32 · 05/10/2021 22:33

Sorry just saw what you got his brother.

To be fair, whats the diff between a tracksuit, vodka (?!) and a pair of trainers, and a belt (which over the years he’ll prob get more wear out of)?

NoSquirrels · 05/10/2021 22:33

Just give him £500 to spend on what he likes. Save yourselves the angst.

In the meantime, start charging rent or insist on a contribution to a savings account in lieu of rent.

LynetteScavo · 05/10/2021 22:33

I've just Googled the LV belts - IMO they're horrible Grin

backtolifebacktoreality · 05/10/2021 22:34

If you don't agree with buying it for him (which I wouldn't either) then give him cash for Christmas. If he decides to use the money on the belt then you'll just have to let him get on with it!

TheOriginalMrsMoss · 05/10/2021 22:35

And there is no 'letting him buy it with his own money'. It's his money and if he chooses to spend it on something, whatever the price and your opinion on it, that's his decision. He is prepared to work for it and I would applaud that. Good for him.

Lunde · 05/10/2021 22:38

I'm finding this thread really really odd

  • designer vodka - fine with you
  • designer tracksuit - fine with you
  • expensive trainers - fine with you
  • designer belt - totally outrageous and causes a row

I don't really get what it is about the belt when you're encouraging vodka?

Ledition · 05/10/2021 22:39

It is an obscene amount for a belt but when you think about it aren't a lot Christmas presents a "waste of money" really? It's a time of frivolous spending when you get things you "like" not things you "need". If he wants it and it's within budget I'd get it personally. I bought stupidly expensive sunglasses/handbags when I was younger. They made me happy at the time and it was no more wasteful than buying expensive cosmetics/clothes/paying a stupid amount for a two hour concert etc.

Get him the belt.

Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 22:40

@PegorySpeck
He sounds like a nice young man! Advise him to buy it in the shop and not online. Much better to be able to assess them in person and it’s far more fun!

Dibble135 · 05/10/2021 22:41

Apologies if someone has suggested this as I have read every response but could he get it cheaper second hand? Perhaps research it and see if there is a compromise to be reached.

Maria1982 · 05/10/2021 22:42

The fact that he knows he has a lot of money to him, age 18, from a trust fund, is a bigger issue than the wanting an expensive belt!

Very hard to teach him the value of money and hard work if he knows he has a windfall coming his way so soon…. (Not saying I have a solution to this btw, just that at 18 I think few of us would be responsible with money..)

BeaLola · 05/10/2021 22:42

I would have bought the belt - he is 17 and not a 7 year old who may change their mind on Christmas Eve as to what they would like

A decent belt will last a long time - unlike the PS5 and its within the budget set by you

However having read your reply about buying expensive vodka ,not charging rent but him spending on takeaways and beer and in a years time having a trust fund to dip into I guess there's no incentive to start saving for a car etc - when he lives outside the hone and is responsible for bills etc it will be a tad of a shock

TatianaBis · 05/10/2021 22:44

This is why trust funds shouldn't be accessible until 25.

Rivermonsters · 05/10/2021 22:44

Sad I’m 17 and I wish I was allowed vodka on my list Blush

Labracadabradoodle · 05/10/2021 22:44

Mine once spent hundreds on 2 lightsabres with collective Christmas money.
I told them I thought it was a waste of an absolute fortune, but it was their money.
Once the novelty wore off, the lightsabres were put up for sale for a fraction of their cost and a harsh lesson was learned, never to be repeated.
As the belt is within the budget, I'd let him have it. His choice of gift, after all.

Rivermonsters · 05/10/2021 22:44

Have you considered looking on eBay for slightly used/new without tags belts?

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 22:46

@Rivermonsters

Sad I’m 17 and I wish I was allowed vodka on my list Blush
Aw bless you, you can come to my house for Christmas 🎄
OP posts:
MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 22:46

@TatianaBis

This is why trust funds shouldn't be accessible until 25.
Tbf this 17year old sounds more sensible than his mother.
Rivermonsters · 05/10/2021 22:46

@PegorySpeck haha thank you Grin

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 05/10/2021 22:47

@Rivermonsters

Have you considered looking on eBay for slightly used/new without tags belts?
This is a great way to get stuck with a shitty fake that doesn't look remotely real. Never do this.