Feel like a failure - leaving teaching

[Anonbee]

I have just started my fourth year of teaching (primary), I have always found it challenging but since September I now know for sure that I cannot do this forever. I feel like I'm losing myself in the job, I have no work life balance and I am now at the point of feeling depressed and struggling to sleep at night with the worry.

I am terrified to make the jump to a new job, and worry that I will be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I don't know where to begin, because I have never had a non teaching job. I cannot shake the feeling of being a failure if I leave and that my three year teaching degree has been a total waste of time and money. I feel so broken with it all, I am on autopilot just trying to make it through each day and then spend my evenings fretting knowing I have to return tomorrow. Sunday's are consumed by anxiety about the week ahead. I'm not sure exactly what I'm wanting from this thread, I think I just need somewhere I can share how I'm feeling.

Could you go part time?

I’m looking for an English tutor to come once a week for an hour to my house.

Are you South London based?

YANBU, not everyone is cut out for the job.

Do you have any hobbies/interests where you could perhaps find a job in those fields?

I'm a teacher. I get it. Quit your full time post and get on the supply list, you'll have no prep to do and still get the wages, then who knows what will come up in the future that you'll want to apply for.

I also wanted to add. Don’t see yourself as a failure. You’re taking a step back to look after yourself and other opportunities in many different ways will come forward.

Some employers love taking on teachers, loads of great transferable skills. Presentations will be no problem for you etc.

You've done your bit, 4 years is enough time to know it's not for you. I know people who've done degrees in architecture for example and gone on to get into accounting instead.

You are not a failure.

You tried and it simply doesn't suit you.

I know lots of ex-teachers and worked with a few. They work in a wide variety of other jobs.

Definitely look at a different school or part time role first. Teaching can be a very different job depending on your setting. I teach a non core subject in a private secondary. It's fab. I have small classes, lovely kids, extra long holidays and I've been doing it long enough I don't reinvent the wheel every year. I have the time and energy to be enthusiastic actually in the classroom which is what counts and we aren't overburdened with a load of unnecessary paperwork. It's what teaching should be and would be if the gov funded state Ed properly and gave all teachers a sensible work load. Do look at other options first.

I’ve been a teacher for 33 years. I can’t hack it anymore. It’s got harder and harder and covid has made everything worse. I do supply now - don’t like that either really, but I’ve got 3 days a week at a small independent. That’s manageable.
You aren’t a failure. It’s become a shit way to make a living (even though actual classroom teaching is fab).

Classic teacher guilt! Before I left teaching I used to drive in hoping I'd be in a minor accident just so I could have a break. It isn't normal and there is no reason why you need to suffer it out! I know many teachers who have stayed and many more who've left for careers that suit them better (including me). Look at HE outreach, examining, tutoring, resource or textbook writing. Good luck OP

Sorry you’re feeling like this @Anonbee 😞
I know first hand what a tough job it is! Work-life balance??!!

Have you been to the dr to talk though your feelings? Is there anyone at work you can talk to in confidence? You used the word ‘depressed’ and this will certainly be affecting your feelings right now. It’s impossible for you to see things clearly while your emotions are so cloudy and confused.

Don’t think (and worry) about the future but focus on getting well and mentally strong, if this involves some time off then so be it!

I have three ex-teachers in my current team in a totally unrelated field. They are magnificent and highly valued and their teaching experience is a huge asset.

You’re not a failure, I’d be so proud to be in your shoes as a teacher even one finding it hard. It sounds clear you might not be in the right position for you right now, though- would a different age group feel better? Or supply teaching? . I would take a big step back and not panic as feel very positive you’ll do well once worked out what is making you anxious and what could help that.

I wanted to go into teaching when left university but was encouraged to try different career first and i still feel drawn to it as it is so important for our young people. I’m aware it can be incredibly tough in some schools though, my friend had a tough one.

@HugeAckmansWife has it about independent. Careful though - some are run as personal fiefdoms and management can be poor (understatement). Look at staff turnover.

A lot of the suggestions above mean well but if I’m honest here are no way to forge out a real living. They might work as a top up to an income if you have a working DH/DP but otherwise won’t.

Supply pay is terrible, no sick pay (can we totally rule out another lockdown?) holidays, quiet times of the year (July and September)

Tutoring - difficult antisocial hours and you’d have to cram dozens in. Again no holiday pay.

I would have a proper think about what else you really want to do

@JassyRadlett

I have three ex-teachers in my current team in a totally unrelated field. They are magnificent and highly valued and their teaching experience is a huge asset.

What field do you work in? @JassyRadlett

Asking for a friend!! 😉

I can't afford to go part time, and I'm in my mid 20s, so I don't really want to drop days yet.

You could think about moving to a different setting. SEND comes with different challenges but I much prefer it to mainstream. You’re not a failure at all. This is really common.

Just dropping one day could make a huge difference.

Have you got a trusted colleague you could talk to? This is far more common than you might imagine.

You are definitely not a failure and you haven't wasted your degree.

I totally get where you're coming from, teaching is not like it should be. I have an Ed Studies degree and worked as a HLTA for 6 years, in the beginning because I wanted some experience before I did the PGCE. As time went on, I loved my job but just could not see teaching fitting in to my life. My colleagues would arrive at 7 and leave at 6,work one day of the weekend and be working into the night after putting their kids to bed. I've seen many an NQT decide its not for them and leave. There's no way I could be a Mum and a teacher so I made the difficult decision to leave the profession completely and try to forge a career in something different.

Do you think you could do supply, or something related but not teaching? For example youth support worker, careers advisor, education welfare officer?

You're not a failure and you're actually really brave to take a step back and realise that you need /want to make a change.

Every time a politician talks they add something to the list of things that should be taught in schools. Class Whatsapp groups hype each other to have enormous expectations of school life .
It is such a hard job. You can never have an off day. Inspectors and SLT circle, observe and threaten.
I taught all my life (secondary) . Loved the students, hate the bullying from parents, SLT and everyone who has an opinion about how teachers should teach.
WFH is becoming more and more common. The people who went into teaching because it was a job that was family friendly will look elsewhere for a career.
It is such a demanding job. There are so many well paid jobs with so much more flexibility for the talented graduates that might once have gone into teaching. How can teaching possibly compete for these graduates?

Have you thought about Speech and Language Therapy as a career? You could do a 2 year masters! Your skills would be so transferable! And it's a fab career ☺️

Unfortunately teaching is a thankless, exhausting and demoralising job. I’d honestly leave op. If I had known the what I know now I’d have never gone into it. You’re still young, have a long think about what you’d really like to do and go for it. And one last thing; don’t let the buggers get you down. Good luck.

I'd seriously look into supply & check out a few agencies. You're young enough to make a fresh start, you absolutely don't have to do this forever.

I left teaching after 14 long years and should have done it sooner.

It's easy to become institutionalised and think you couldn't possibly do anything else, but that's simply not true. There are lots of related jobs in education if that's what you want, but also valuable transferable skills for other sectors.

I work in HE now and love my job. I recommend looking on jobs.ac.uk to see what kind of jobs are out there.

Leave now before you get onto UPS money and get trapped by financial commitments. You're still early enough in your career to start again without taking too much of a hit. Good luck!

It might be the school that doesn’t suit you, not all schools are the same. Go on supply for a while and see if you find somewhere that’s a better fit?