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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel like a failure - leaving teaching

117 replies

Anonbee · 05/10/2021 18:56

I have just started my fourth year of teaching (primary), I have always found it challenging but since September I now know for sure that I cannot do this forever. I feel like I'm losing myself in the job, I have no work life balance and I am now at the point of feeling depressed and struggling to sleep at night with the worry.

I am terrified to make the jump to a new job, and worry that I will be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I don't know where to begin, because I have never had a non teaching job. I cannot shake the feeling of being a failure if I leave and that my three year teaching degree has been a total waste of time and money. I feel so broken with it all, I am on autopilot just trying to make it through each day and then spend my evenings fretting knowing I have to return tomorrow. Sunday's are consumed by anxiety about the week ahead. I'm not sure exactly what I'm wanting from this thread, I think I just need somewhere I can share how I'm feeling.

OP posts:
motherrunner · 06/10/2021 06:15

I’ve been teaching 22 years and 5 years ago I was ready to quit. My DD was 5, DS 2 and the only time I was seeing them was when we were in the car travelling to the childminders. Instead of quitting I found a new school and although it’s not perfect, I have a better balance of work/life. I rarely work in evenings and I just work Sunday mornings (but this is when DD and DS sit down with me too to complete their homework). Maybe this would be a solution before ditching teaching completely?

Gemi33 · 06/10/2021 08:51

Hi OP

Just want to say that I completely understand - I could have written your post and left teaching after about 4 years for the same reasons. It was hard and I absolutely felt like a failure but I am happier now and to be honest I think if I had stayed longer I would have found it even harder to leave so don't feel bad about it, you've done your best and now it's time for a change and that's ok.

xx

Gemi33 · 06/10/2021 08:52

Oh and please feel free to PM me if you wanted to chat!

wigglerose · 06/10/2021 11:40

It might be that teaching doesn't suit you. That doesn't mean you've failed or are inconpetent. It's just a thing. You need to distance yourself from the profession and see it as just another job.

Thousands of people aren't cut out to be doctors or solicitors or police or architects or research scientists.

ToD101 · 06/10/2021 19:03

@BitterTits If I knew of any jobs going I'd send them your way. Whereabouts in the country are you? I'll keep my eyes peeled if we advertise if you're near me.

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/10/2021 10:11

Pick apart the components of your job and work out how you could transfer them to another environment.
Do you like sharing knowledge? Look at something like being a workplace training provider.
Do you like working with children? Look at tutoring; nursery work.

Jaffapaffa · 08/10/2021 10:27

I'm in my 30th year full time teaching. It's not the job that it was, and if you're thinking of leaving, just do so, before you are trapped, as I am, by mortgage and family responsibilities.
Find something else to do - and things will come along - before it's too late.
Don't rule out other jobs in a school setting - colleagues of mine have gone to work in admin in schools, for example, or as receptionists. Less pay, but far less workload.

KatieStickley · 01/12/2021 14:52

Lots of teachers move career, finding companies you really appreciate and resonate with you is a good start. Use LinkedIn to research them and connect with employees. If you haven't used LinkedIn before, watch a quick YouTube video on how it works.
You don't have to stay in education, but if you do check out www.didteach.com
Hope this helps.

Japingjaponica · 01/12/2021 19:14

Hiya, you need to do supply for a bit and try different schools, they are HUGELY different. As someone who has worked primary and secondary, I find the planning burden in primary to be obscene.
However the larger primaries do more plan-sharing, so less work.
Also if you take a part time job, you can do bar work and something for a couple of days too.
Give a couple more schools a try! You worked hard for this and you are just knackered. Xxx

Mari001 · 19/04/2022 08:36

This reply has been deleted

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aussiechick01 · 19/04/2022 08:44

Check out the Facebook page: Life after teaching - exit the classroom and thrive. It has lots of ideas of alternative jobs for teachers.

I’m constantly toying with leaving teaching (have been teaching 5yrs) but a change of schools this year has been like a breath of fresh air - maybe you could apply for positions at other schools for September and see how that goes while exploring other options?

NovacDino · 19/04/2022 08:52

Maybe try a new school before you leave entirely, some places are awful toxic environments and others are better. Also, you're not failing... Unfortunately, you are now working within a system that is failing you. Being a teacher is becoming more and more difficult, stressful and toxic - it's not you, it's the job, the school you're in and ultimately pressures from Ofsted/DFE both of which wouldn't know what children need even if the kids told them themselves. I've been teaching 20 years and am not sure how much longer I am willing to continue to work in this system.

axolotlfloof · 19/04/2022 08:56

Hi OP,
As this thread has been risen from the dead, how are you getting on?
I left teaching after my NQT year and worked as a mentor in an fe college.

KyieveMii · 19/04/2022 08:58

I left and I’m happy. I taught nearly 13 years, no significant difficulties and was SLT- on paper good. But I hit the same feeling of burn out.
I’ve been very happy since I left. My advice is to leave teaching earlier, than invest years.
Frankly it’s also a particularly easy job to return to if you want to- there’s a massive shortage.

ShinyMe · 19/04/2022 09:01

[quote Mari001]Hello

I’m a teacher and aspiring writer. I have started a blog called Teacher’s Brew, including tips, tricks and more for a happier work-life balance. I’m in the early stages, so your support would be appreciated. I am grateful most grateful for your comments.

Thank you

Visit and share
teachersbrew.wordpress.com/home/[/quote]
Maybe stop resurrecting every possible old thread that mentions teaching and start your own?

KF23 · 19/05/2022 22:34

I get it. I’m at the end of my PGCE year and the thought of teaching for another four weeks makes me want to cry. I haven’t been happy for a while now and I’m scared of letting everyone down because I don’t want to do this. I don’t really know what to do either 😭

maddy68 · 19/05/2022 22:38

You will not regret it. I have never looked back

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