Feel like a failure - leaving teaching

[Anonbee]

I have just started my fourth year of teaching (primary), I have always found it challenging but since September I now know for sure that I cannot do this forever. I feel like I'm losing myself in the job, I have no work life balance and I am now at the point of feeling depressed and struggling to sleep at night with the worry.

I am terrified to make the jump to a new job, and worry that I will be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I don't know where to begin, because I have never had a non teaching job. I cannot shake the feeling of being a failure if I leave and that my three year teaching degree has been a total waste of time and money. I feel so broken with it all, I am on autopilot just trying to make it through each day and then spend my evenings fretting knowing I have to return tomorrow. Sunday's are consumed by anxiety about the week ahead. I'm not sure exactly what I'm wanting from this thread, I think I just need somewhere I can share how I'm feeling.

My DD was just like you, finally found a office based job linked to early years. The difference in her is amazing. She is so much more relaxed and back to her bubbly self. Definately not a fail, just moving on through life. Look for something else and be proud of what you have achieved. Good luck xx

You are NOT a failure. The job I started in the 1980s is nothing like it is now. It used to be an enjoyable job. The constant micro management and pressure drove me out after many years. Even with my long teaching experience I couldn’t bear the relentlessness. You are young and can start again. Once you’re out of teaching your mind will clear and you’ll know where your passions lie. Trust me, leaving teaching you’ll dodge a bullet. Good luck!

This thread is so sad. I wish someone from the government would read it and realise how teachers are struggling and suffering, so much so that they’re leaving the profession, and that they would actually do something about it to attract and retain people and make it much less stressful 😢

OP, life is too short to be that unhappy. You’re not a failure, think of all the kids you’ve helped in your years of teaching. It’s time to put yourself first. Lots of good ideas on this thread.

[quote Anonbee]@Wren77 I would love to do this and considered it when choosing my degree. I can't really afford to go back to uni right now though, especially for two years. If I could find a way to pay my mortgage alongside a masters I would definitely do this.[/quote]
You can get funding for Masters courses. It isn't as generous as undergrad funding though.

Try not to put barriers up yet.
Go to some open days, and talk to fees and funding staff-there may be bursaries available.

If you are studying, then tutoring/ supply might be a great way to add your income?

Also, if you are only 3 ( nearly 4) years in your first job, I bet you are great with money- it's quite an achievement to save enough for a mortgage so soon.

Alternatively, have you thought about mental health nursing, or Special Needs nursing? You could get full maintenance and tuition.

I've heard there's a Facebook group called 'life after teaching' or something like that which is very supportive. Might be worth checking out.

even though actual classroom teaching is fab

That can be the worst part in some schools if the behaviour isn't managed.

You’re young enough to get out if you want to, but how about combining it with travel? I have taught overseas and it was so refreshing and enjoyable compared to the UK. There are plenty of teaching jobs all over the world for British trained teachers, often with better pay and conditions too. Would recommend…

I am surprised any teachers stay, to be honest. It is such a difficult, stressful job. I am not a teacher, but have had teacher friends.
Make the move. You will not be jumping into any fires. You sound completely exhausted. I stayed in a job for many years and I was in denial about how stressful it was. It is only upon leaving and doing something completely different, that I realise I should have changed years ago. Be brave OP!

I taught in England for eight years and it was horrible between behaviour and pressure from management. I returned home to Ireland and I am free to teach without the horrible pressures I faced in London. I actually love and value my job now and my pay is the same or slightly higher. Teaching in England is just thankless and I'm not surprised people want to leave.

It’s an increasingly difficult job to do. You sound very stressed. Take some sick leave to decide what you are going to do x

Do it- I stayed in a job I thought I ‘should do’ for years and when I left I literally could breathe again. It was the biggest relief of my life to date! I felt like I was drowning week fo week; in hindsight I should have left ages before I did. I wanted until I very nearly couldn’t take any more- don’t do it to yourself. I could’ve written some of your post and honestly I would start taking steps to leave as soon as you can. Sunday night dread is one thing but if you literally are losing yourself and feel like you are drowning in an unstoppable torrent (which is how I felt) you need to leave and ASAP. You will thank yourself in a few months time! I look back now and cannot believe how unhappy I was. I’m
Ashamed to say that occasionally on my morning commute on the motorway I would look at the central reservation and think ‘if I had an accident I would be signed off sick.’ That’s how trapped I felt. It makes me so sad I felt that way now. Good luck I don’t think you’ll regret it one second. Xox

Once you make the leap away do you know what? You will be fine.

I really can’t stand comments along the lines of ‘not everyone is cut out for it’. No one is cut out for a never ending workload, being bombarded by different unhelpful strategies left right and centre, children with behavioural problems, parents with behavioural problems, never having a chance to wee…etc.

You will find your way. You are a highly motivated, diligent and compassionate person.

You could try museum or similar type education work as they generally want qualified teachers. The pay isn't great though.

@Booboosweet

I taught in England for eight years and it was horrible between behaviour and pressure from management. I returned home to Ireland and I am free to teach without the horrible pressures I faced in London. I actually love and value my job now and my pay is the same or slightly higher. Teaching in England is just thankless and I'm not surprised people want to leave.

Same !!!!

Went from 8-8 in school

To 9-2.30

Planning took me few hours once per fortnight
Marking books at break time /lunch time
Self correction at end of lesson (we were encouraged to do this )

Great salary
Lovely school

Was so lucky

This was me. Charged in full of enthusiasm, burnt out after 4. After a year on propranolol, wishing for a minor car crash en route to school and having anxiety attacks whilst hiding in the toilets, I signed up for supply to pay the bills.
After a couple of months got a job writing copy and proofreading for a company linked to an interest- no experience but was able to talk passionately at interview and sell transferrable skills.
A couple of years of office life later, 9-5 was so dull and unfulfilling I've returned to teaching with more appreciation, conviction, perspective and ability to forge a work/life balance.

The grass isn't always greener but sometimes you need to see for yourself. Whatever decision you make, it's not irreversible. Your first priority is your mental health so if you need to get signed off sick for some headspace, absolutely do not hesitate x

Leave and don’t feel bad!

Teaching is not a job to stay in if you are not happy. It will destroy you. Its so regular for people to work in jobs completely different from their original degree. Make no apologies for it. Could you sign up to a recruitment firm as they can give you good advice. Also if you are depressed see a doctor as it may follow you to a new position. There is no shame in that either. Just get all the help you can get from whatever source and things will turn out fine.

I couldn’t read and not reply as I feel like I could have written your post myself back before I left teaching several years ago. My mental health had reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t not leave, even though I felt so sad to leave. I left with no job to go to but soon found an office job. The admin experience led to a more specialised admin job at a uni and now my role there has a managerial side to it too. I have zero regrets about leaving. I now think of teaching as something I am pleased I did for 4 years and I feel pleased about what I contributed in that time. I did feel a bit like a failure when I left but now, looking back, I feel like it was brave to make the switch when I realised it was not going to work for me in the long-term. Now I have young kids and I am even more pleased I made the decision to leave when I did as I cannot imagine combining the workload I used to carry back then with raising a family. Be led by what feels right for you not by any fears of feeling like a failure - you are not a failure in any way! I have another colleague who left for a bit and then changed her mind and returned so it doesn’t have to be final if you leave and then change your mind.

Ashamed to say that occasionally on my morning commute on the motorway I would look at the central reservation and think ‘if I had an accident I would be signed off sick.’*

Christ, it's really worrying how many of us have been in this exact place. "What's a written off car and a few broken bones if it gets me signed off?" It's a scary head space to be in.

Anonbee, let me reassure you there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was in exactly the same boat as you three years ago. You are not a failure. At the root of all this is that you care so much and you are probably putting more pressure on yourself than the government, SLT and parents combined. Have a think about what you like about the job. Do you like being in the classroom teaching? Then maybe you should give yourself the opportunity to explore a world outside the school you teach in. I was ready to pack it all in but when I thought about it I love the teaching side of things. I was burnt out because of all the other crap: English lead, SATs year, school on the brink of Ofsted. I didn't wait until i made myself totally ill. I resigned and I joined with a supply agency. You have three years experience under your belt and schools are crying out for people like you or at least they are here in the North West. I was able to use my experience to get long term supply work which is paid to scale after 2 weeks. You would imagine this is more of the same but it's surprising how the short term aspect affects your outlook. Knowing that you might only be with the kids for a term, means that you don't stress out as much about progress but guess what, they make it anyway because you are a more effective teacher when you are healthy and happy. Also some schools just fit better, have a better culture. Have you stayed all of your career in same school? See what is out there while you are sill relatively cheap on M4. In the last few years, I've tried so many different things for a term here and a year there. SEN, EAL, Intervention teacher as well as loads of long term sick leave in mainstream. Best thing about it? You will rarely get a curriculum responsibility during that period. I think you are exhausted but you haven't exhausted all avenues yet. You are young, explore!

Leave.
It's the last job in a country where too many children and parents are openly hostile to education.

Don’t feel bad for feeling this way. I went the other way, and left an office job to become a teacher and had similar feelings of guilt, feeling I’d ‘failed’ at my other career. I’d definitely consider trying another school though. I genuinely don’t feel like you do at my school, I think sometimes it takes a while to find the right fit.

OP you don't need to do anything around education ever again.

The ex-teachers I know now work in IT, finance, marketing and PR, the fitness industry, civil service, TFL and training adults.

I also know teachers who have moved from the state to private sector before leaving altogether.

@ToD101

I moved sideways into SEN teaching (Teacher of the Deaf, as my username suggests). It is definitely far more manageable than mainstream class teaching; my biggest "class" this year is 3! I started the job (same scales as mainstream) and trained while I was earning, so no loss of income and work paid for the training. If you're interested and have questions, feel free to pm me.

Teaching can be TOUGH. Be kind to yourself.

I know it's not an attractive quality but I really envy you. I can't get a job as a TOD with relevant experience, been trying for years.