Feel like a failure - leaving teaching

[Anonbee]

I have just started my fourth year of teaching (primary), I have always found it challenging but since September I now know for sure that I cannot do this forever. I feel like I'm losing myself in the job, I have no work life balance and I am now at the point of feeling depressed and struggling to sleep at night with the worry.

I am terrified to make the jump to a new job, and worry that I will be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I don't know where to begin, because I have never had a non teaching job. I cannot shake the feeling of being a failure if I leave and that my three year teaching degree has been a total waste of time and money. I feel so broken with it all, I am on autopilot just trying to make it through each day and then spend my evenings fretting knowing I have to return tomorrow. Sunday's are consumed by anxiety about the week ahead. I'm not sure exactly what I'm wanting from this thread, I think I just need somewhere I can share how I'm feeling.

It’s not for you - there’s no shame in that. Put it down to experience and move on.

As a teacher, I totally get it and you're not a failure.

I do have to counter some advice given above though: supply teaching is not reliable income. No holidays or sick pay. The pay is not good and many schools will only pay for a cover supervisor rather than a qualified teacher. Children often behave terribly for supply teachers. It's a good option to make some money if you need to get out now and haven't found anything else, or if you want to explore other schools before you decide to leave altogether.

Also, please explore the job market before assuming your transferable skills in a professional job will get you anywhere. In my experience, having "teacher" on your CV does no good for anything other than a role closely related to teaching.

@Wren77 I would love to do this and considered it when choosing my degree. I can't really afford to go back to uni right now though, especially for two years. If I could find a way to pay my mortgage alongside a masters I would definitely do this.

Do you have a new class or new responsibilities? I ask because some years in teaching I have found the first half-term challenging and wonder how I will get through the year then before I know it, it’s Christmas or the spring term and I have adjusted and things are not so bad.

Sorry if it’s worse than that for you but struggling at this time of year was definitely a pattern for me.

It's so difficult especially when we are now reasonably well paid (wasn't like that when I started) so it's hard to find something that pays the same.
There is a Facebook group for people who have escaped teaching..I can't remember the exact name but I'm sure you'd find it and it's meant to be very helpful.

I second the advice about trying a different school too, it can really change the job

@Sosander

I’m looking for an English tutor to come once a week for an hour to my house.

Are you South London based?

Jesus wept.

Everyone I know who quit teaching says they have never regretted it. Go for something different.

I wish I had gone and started again after four years, before I had a family and major financial commitments. Now I'm twenty years in, unvalued, and can't afford to leave. Do it and don't bother with supply or tutoring - just get on in another sector while you can.

I feel like I'm losing myself in the job, I have no work life balance and I am now at the point of feeling depressed and struggling to sleep at night with the worry.

Yeah, that sounds normal. Antidepressants have helped me but when sometimes (yesterday, for example) you get assaulted multiple times a day there is only so much you can do.

I am terrified to make the jump to a new job, and worry that I will be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

There are very, very few jobs with the burnout rates and effect on life expectancy of teaching. If you know you can't continue then don't.

You might want to consider another school. You might want to learn your job description and start saying no to unreasonable requests. Ultimately there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

(FWIW I'm 20 years in and still love it).

I understand how you feel. I knew I wanted to leave class teaching. I did a part time two year postgraduate in dyslexia teaching and assessment and now work as a dyslexia assessor. Appreciate there is the cost and money issue but maybe an opportunity to do something along those lines..

I’m a teacher and have been for 15 years. I’m also planning on leaving this school year, I’m 40 in the summer holidays and I’m aiming to have left by then!
I recommend joining the FB group ‘Life after teaching - leave the classroom and thrive’. There are lots of useful posts and videos.

Teaching is a tough job. I did my pgce but decided I love education but didn't like the classroom. I ended up using those skills in a career in the museum sector. The education sector is wider than just the classroom. Think about what elements you love and look at ways on building on it. Sometimes it's a risk as pay maybe lower when you start out on a different path but being happy is priceless!

A lot of people saying that the job isn't one that is suited to you are incorrect.

The job itself is fine if you were allowed to get on and teach. The way teachers are treated makes you feel like a failure, it causes trauma and it subjects people to some awful working conditions.

The management of your school, DfE, Ofsted and others who put pressure on teachers to this extent are the failures. You are not and yes you are cut out for the job just that the people you work for both locally and nationally are twats who treat teachers like robots.

I moved sideways into SEN teaching (Teacher of the Deaf, as my username suggests). It is definitely far more manageable than mainstream class teaching; my biggest "class" this year is 3! I started the job (same scales as mainstream) and trained while I was earning, so no loss of income and work paid for the training. If you're interested and have questions, feel free to pm me.

Teaching can be TOUGH. Be kind to yourself.

I don't think it's a failing on your part OP. As others have said, I think it's an incredibly tough job! My mum was a primary teacher all her life but advised me never to go into it due to the workload and burnout. I have other friends and family members who are teachers and some have left and gone on to do other things that they enjoy.

If you do change jobs, your teaching years will be valuable work experience so won't be wasted! And if you wanted to go back at any point I imagine the door would not have closed (I'm not a teacher but just guessing this!)

Go easy on yourself and good luck.

My childminders is a qualified teacher but it got too much so she set up on her own - don't feel bad it's not for everyone

Who hasn't quit teaching?!

I lasted 18 months after qualifying, and I'd spent 3 years getting onto a very competitive PGCE at a top uni.

It was unsustainable. I now still work in education but in another role 'back of house' on a similar income as when I was teaching (less progression possible though). I have no regrets at all. Still proud to have qualified as a teacher and I'll always have that skill if needed.

A lot of my friends did teaching degrees and most have left (or never entered) the profession. One friend got a job with the LA in the Education department, not really sure what she was doing, I think working with improving schools, she loved it.

Honestly, leaving teaching is he single best decision DH has ever made. He's happier, we're happier as a couple, he's more present at home.

What area of teaching do you enjoy most? Do you have financial means to retrain (we didn't so DH went part time whilst doing a master's).

Another ex teacher here. I lasted 2 years in secondary. I remember feeling just like you describe. Despite initial feelings of failure, I've never regretted leaving and am glad I left early before the pay got too high or I had many responsibilities. My first year out of teaching was in a low paid admin job but I supplemented it with exam marking and tutoring until I found something better. I'm now a careers adviser, still in schools but none of the most stressful bits of teaching (quite a few of us are ex teachers and training can be done on the job or through a postgrad). Other ex teachers I know have gone into the education departments of charities or museums etc, training, admin in the LEA. Or, if you want a bigger change, don't forget that many graduate trainee jobs want a degree in any subject. Or, as others have said there may be different education settings worth trying.

A relation left primary teaching in England five years ago. But they went to Dubai, teaching in an English-type school there. It's effectively private sector, so when they come back they will be able to teach in the private sector here.

Could you try a different school? Although the workload in primary schools is always high, there are places where there is more of a balance. A friend of mine works in a combined year group class and her workload is insane - she has to differentiate for 2 year groups every lesson. Whereas a friend who works in a larger , three form entry school shares planning with his colleagues so each person only has responsibility for planning a couple of subjects.

Please don’t feel like a failure OP. You’ve been a teacher for three years - well done!!
If you want to try something new you have lots of time on your side.

On the other hand, if you think of the aspects of teaching that you enjoy, you may be able to find another teaching job that you would enjoy much more than your current role.
A friend of mine was a class teacher for a few years and then got a role as an intervention teacher in a primary school. She doesn’t have the stresses of having her own class to be responsible for. Instead she takes small classes (max 10 children) from Years 3-6 for English and Maths lessons. She absolutely loves it and gets great satisfaction when the children make progress. It’s a very different role to her previous teaching job. Is it worth exploring some teaching alternatives before writing it off completely?

I know a number of people who used to be teachers and who turned their teaching degrees to other uses inc one maths master who became an actuary. Changing direction does not make you a failure.

you are not a failure.

The system is a failure, and you are a victim of it.

Its fantastic you have the strength and courage to get out now - so many of us spend decades feeling like this, and get deeper and deeper entrenched

Best wishes for whatever you do next