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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To just ask for support from you all

450 replies

marthasGinyard · 04/10/2021 17:30

My previous names are only1scoop and MarthasGinYard I've been around years.

I suffered from anxiety for a while and was in a very unhappy relationship which ticked on for the sake of our daughter I guess.

In Feb/March this year I became ill with gastro issues and ended up having an awful time I had a breakdown. I vomited blood was losing blood ended to with scan after test a week in hospital all the time being scorned by my partner of 13 years. "I'll be glad when you have cancer" was among one of the things he said to me. I spent a night in a mental facility just to get away. He told me continually he didn't love me, was abusive in front of our daughter. I was struck with a horrid post nasal drip never encountered before and awful pains. More tests scans. Was left with a nasal voice but it went away. I was left with premature cataracts which I believe can be caused by oxidative stress. I spent 2 months with zero sleep in a continuous state of hyperventilation.

June I started to get better. Symptoms abetted and I wanted to leave. I calmly asked for my share of equity and the abuse flooded out. I was cabin crew for almost 23 years and always worked. After abuse I called police and came to a refuge where I have been since the beginning of July.

I started to get positive for mine and DD's new life and solicitor was handling the other stuff. I have some good friends but no family that can help much.

The only medical issue I still had was a strange vibration still in chest and a pressing feeling had started on throat. Gp puts everything down to anxiety and I wasn't worried about these symptoms but wasn't anxious at the time quite the very opposite.

Mid august I had a tremor start in my left thumb. The twitching then became bodywide. The GP did basic bloods which were ok and it didn't go. I went to see a neurologist privately but I felt all was put down to anxiety. I had an EMG test performed which was clear but very early on only 2 weeks following twitching,

The ladies at refuge have heard how I have been spoken to by old GP's and sent me to a new one. She saw the fasiculatiions and my scalloped swollen tongue twitching I explained my speech has changed and she has tried to expodite my neurology appointment with NHS. She took me seriously and examined me thoroughly.

I'm terrified this is MND bulbar palsy. I am woke with involuntary swallowing and throat feels all odd.

Benign fasiculation syndrome was suggested by Neuro but he didn't even look at the fasics. I've looked into this and it seems common amongst the young and fit sports type with big thumping twitches. Mine are tiny ripples some I barely feel but only see.

I'm terrified I will leave my Dd without her mum and with the horrible father we left.

I don't even know why I'm posting I just after being on here for so long wanted some MN support. I'm so lonely and frightened in this nitemare.

If anyone remembers me and can just offer support I'd be so grateful.

OP posts:
Nearlyshitmypantsthere · 06/12/2023 22:21

Hey @marthasGinyard Good luck for court tomorrow🤞🏻hope everything goes how you want!
Wishing you and F a wonderful Christmas 🎄
Stay strong ❤️

marthasGinyard · 06/12/2023 22:30

Tearing up thanks all 🙏🏻

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 09/12/2023 20:03

How did it go Martha?

wizzler · 10/12/2023 11:08

Hi @marthasGinyard
Think about you and your dd often .. hope it went ok
Flowers

marthasGinyard · 10/12/2023 11:15

It was a long time coming but yes justice was served at least financially

Thanks for thinking of me lovelies

OP posts:
Nearlyshitmypantsthere · 10/12/2023 13:19

Great news @marthasGinyard ❤️

wizzler · 10/12/2023 17:40

That's great news!

Mysa74 · 11/12/2023 17:42

So glad you've had a bit of good news and a few of your worries have eased Smile
Have some of these to help celebrate 🎉🥂🎂🍫🍹🍾 and a🥇for getting this far (((hugs)))

ajandjjmum · 12/12/2023 07:32

That's good news Martha - another lurker.

marthasGinyard · 13/12/2023 22:49

Thank you all for your kind words
Much appreciated

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 24/02/2024 09:51

Just checking in Martha xx

marthasGinyard · 24/02/2024 22:39

Hey Mysa
How you?
I'm getting worse in an insideous style and feel masking it is more difficult.

I'm trying to live happy with Dd. She's been off this week which I love.

My friends funeral was this week and I miss her. I met her going through similar medical issues.

How's life at the hosp?

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 13/07/2024 20:22

Hi Martha
Sorry I lost your thread and life has been frantic recently. I've not had a lot of time to scroll through my phone. My DH has been ill and I've had to take time from work to look after the DC, but happily is now on the mend. My eldest has been having some mental health issues on top of going up to senior school last September, they're currently trying to work out who they are and now have a provisional Autism diagnosis on top... Youngest two have both had chicken pox. Non stop fun. Hospital is still standing, manager is still micromanaging... Really looking forward to a bit of sunshine to hopefully lift everyone's spirits!
I'm so sorry you lost your friend, it must have been quite shocking as well as upsetting if they had similar problems ((hugs)).
How are you and your Dd now? I think of you often. Time flies past so quickly, it's hard to believe it's July already!

winewolfhowls · 16/07/2024 20:39

Hi there, checking in, I remember your thread and I had really really hoped you would have some answers by now.

wizzler · 16/07/2024 23:22

Me too @marthasGinyard ... how are you and your lovely Dd?

marthasGinyard · 12/10/2024 13:34

Just looked on MN for the first time in ages. Thank you so much for the kind messages.

My health is still not good, I'm struggling day to day and haven't been able to return to work. The symptoms continue as in fasiculations twitching tremors and loss of feeling. Severe sleep apnea now affects my breathing and sleep is a rarity.

I'm under haematology for the MGUS which is monitored and have a further neurology apt in a few months.

However mentally Il try to live day to day and adore being with my amazing daughter, we laugh constantly and love our time together.

Stress continually from the ridiculous ex who is now trying to change the court order to shared care. This will not happen.

I wish you all good things and 🙏🏻 for your support

OP posts:
Nearlyshitmypantsthere · 12/10/2024 17:44

@marthasGinyard Much love and strength sent your way ❤️

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 12/10/2024 17:57

I'm SO sorry for everything you've gone through OP. I'm also sorry that I can't offer anything but a virtual hug, but imagine it as being the biggest, most comforting hug you've ever had. One that says, don't worry, it will all come right given time. Take care of yourself, I have a feeling that this WILL all turn out to be OK in the end. Sending sisterly love your way.

marthasGinyard · 14/10/2024 19:11

Thank you 🙏🏻

That's lovely

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 15/10/2024 06:15

It's great to hear from you Martha. I'm sorry you're still suffering 3 years on from your original post... I'm glad you have your wonderful DD, hang on to that happiness together and do whatever you can to win those battles and eventually the war. You've come so far... ((hugs)).

Mysa74 · 28/12/2024 21:35

Good evening Martha
I hope you and your DD had a lovely Christmas?
Our Christmas roast came out quite well and at just about the right time, potatoes could have been better but everything else was lovely.
Really enjoyed the new Wallace and Gromit film... How about you?

oscar225 · 23/05/2025 03:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

wizzler · 29/05/2025 21:03

How are things @marthasGinyard? Hope things are picking up for you

Mysa74 · 29/06/2025 08:36

Just checking in @marthasGinyard

Mysa74 · 15/11/2025 19:06

Hi Martha
Just realised 4 years have gone by since you first posted... I hope you have some answers and are feeling a bit better xx

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