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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To just ask for support from you all

450 replies

marthasGinyard · 04/10/2021 17:30

My previous names are only1scoop and MarthasGinYard I've been around years.

I suffered from anxiety for a while and was in a very unhappy relationship which ticked on for the sake of our daughter I guess.

In Feb/March this year I became ill with gastro issues and ended up having an awful time I had a breakdown. I vomited blood was losing blood ended to with scan after test a week in hospital all the time being scorned by my partner of 13 years. "I'll be glad when you have cancer" was among one of the things he said to me. I spent a night in a mental facility just to get away. He told me continually he didn't love me, was abusive in front of our daughter. I was struck with a horrid post nasal drip never encountered before and awful pains. More tests scans. Was left with a nasal voice but it went away. I was left with premature cataracts which I believe can be caused by oxidative stress. I spent 2 months with zero sleep in a continuous state of hyperventilation.

June I started to get better. Symptoms abetted and I wanted to leave. I calmly asked for my share of equity and the abuse flooded out. I was cabin crew for almost 23 years and always worked. After abuse I called police and came to a refuge where I have been since the beginning of July.

I started to get positive for mine and DD's new life and solicitor was handling the other stuff. I have some good friends but no family that can help much.

The only medical issue I still had was a strange vibration still in chest and a pressing feeling had started on throat. Gp puts everything down to anxiety and I wasn't worried about these symptoms but wasn't anxious at the time quite the very opposite.

Mid august I had a tremor start in my left thumb. The twitching then became bodywide. The GP did basic bloods which were ok and it didn't go. I went to see a neurologist privately but I felt all was put down to anxiety. I had an EMG test performed which was clear but very early on only 2 weeks following twitching,

The ladies at refuge have heard how I have been spoken to by old GP's and sent me to a new one. She saw the fasiculatiions and my scalloped swollen tongue twitching I explained my speech has changed and she has tried to expodite my neurology appointment with NHS. She took me seriously and examined me thoroughly.

I'm terrified this is MND bulbar palsy. I am woke with involuntary swallowing and throat feels all odd.

Benign fasiculation syndrome was suggested by Neuro but he didn't even look at the fasics. I've looked into this and it seems common amongst the young and fit sports type with big thumping twitches. Mine are tiny ripples some I barely feel but only see.

I'm terrified I will leave my Dd without her mum and with the horrible father we left.

I don't even know why I'm posting I just after being on here for so long wanted some MN support. I'm so lonely and frightened in this nitemare.

If anyone remembers me and can just offer support I'd be so grateful.

OP posts:
marthasGinyard · 17/02/2022 17:43

Mysa thanks for your lovely message.

Pixie boots and Great Danes both wonderful.

I had rescue dogs and cats always when at parents house. We love animals and it will be amazing for dd.

My GP sent refferal to wrong department in OCTOBER and today I saw speech and Language therapist. A really lovely lady of many years experience.

She had concerns regarding movement of my tongue, speech and tongue fasiculations.

She has now referred me to an ent and for a swallow test. I'm terrified as I asked her if it could be it. She said she couldn't answer that but she did see 'subtle indications which needed looking at' she said she clearly saw the fasiculations on my tongue.

She spoke to me as a women with great respect. I should have seen her months ago. I've complained to GP practice.

I'm terrified if I could attach videos I'd show you all what I'm dealing with.

Thank you for the support.

As always xx

OP posts:
marthasGinyard · 21/02/2022 20:24

Hello

School Hols

Still no home as not heard re new build

Very frightened re what SALT lady said

Hold hand please words of inspiration to keep me strong for my amazing girl.

How are you all??

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 25/02/2022 21:45

Sorry Martha, I've had a very busy stint at the hospital and keep falling asleep in my cornflakes... I should probably stop adding the milk incase I drown but my skin looks great so maybe I'll risk it Grin how are you doing today? Has the dear generated by the SALT lady eased off a bit? Have another handhold and a new set of hugs, one for now and a few spare to take out when you need them xx

marthasGinyard · 26/02/2022 14:05

I've kept busy with dd all week I'm back in terrified mode and just so worried.

Just too many symptoms for this all to be nothing.

Frightened

I think seeing re the tongue fasics on the report made me feel worse.

OP posts:
marthasGinyard · 26/02/2022 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

KimMumsnet · 26/02/2022 18:16

OP, we've had some reports that the image you posted contained identifying information so we've deleted the post for you. Feel free to post another picture with your name and address redacted.

marthasGinyard · 26/02/2022 20:46

Whoops

OP posts:
MinnieJackson · 26/02/2022 21:25

FlowersCakeWine and massive hugs to you.

marthasGinyard · 27/02/2022 19:01

Thank you

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 27/02/2022 21:09

I'm sorry you're scared Martha. Seeing the report must have been quite overwhelming... GinCakeFlowers

HeyThereDelilah1 · 27/02/2022 22:21

Hello, really hope you are ok. I was diagnosed by a neurologist at Kingston hospital with benign fasciculation syndrome a couple of years ago, I was so anxious before the appt that my symptoms got completely out of control, my face was twitching quite significantly in the night, my lips, tongue etc were all affected and my face looked asymmetrical one night as the twitching was so bad above my lip, I was twitching anywhere I had a muscle really. But as soon as the neurologist cleared me (did a rather weird test with a small hammer

like instrument to bring on the twitching) my symptom pretty much stopped, it was definitely stress related as suffered birth related PTSD before the twitching started. The neurologist recommended magnesium supplement which really helped. No symptoms for years and feel so much better now, really hope this is slightly reassuring.

Nomad916 · 27/02/2022 22:28

@marthasGinyard cutting out all caffeine and taking Magnesium supplements can help with twitching/fasciculations

HeyThereDelilah1 · 27/02/2022 22:47

Cutting out caffeine was the other thing that helped, apparently stress and caffeine flush magnesium out of your symptoms. I used to wake up with clenched hands and cracked a tooth through grinding, all through stress. I really hope you get the same diagnosis as the relief was the best medicine ever. I was honestly grieving and trying to come to terms with saying goodbye to my young boys, I honestly felt like a different person today than I did then.

HeyThereDelilah1 · 27/02/2022 22:48

System not symptoms!

marthasGinyard · 28/02/2022 16:50

Thanks Delilah and Nomad.

I'm so glad to hear yours went away after some reassurance. I think if it only fasics and I could feel them I wouldn't worry as much.

Just all getting too much to cope with now. New symptoms almost daily it feels.

I'm just so worried about my daughter, court battles, moving all whilst I feel a diagnosis pending. I see why they say it takes about a year to diagnose.

OP posts:
wizzler · 04/03/2022 11:26

Just checking in @marthasGinyard to see how you are doing. I know we've never met but there are a lot of Mnetters who have you in their thoughts

marthasGinyard · 04/03/2022 18:30

I'm not being heard my symptoms are worsening.

I have to view property tmrw and if we accept it then we get keys there and then

I have booked a travel lodge nearby for 3 nights as it has nothing in it.

We hated it from outside but it's a brand new property.

Please let me be ok

I can't leave my girl

OP posts:
Mysa74 · 09/03/2022 21:58

How was the house Martha? Did you accept it?
Any news from the doctors?
I often think of you, especially after talking to my sister, she was cabin crew for nearly 12 years

marthasGinyard · 09/03/2022 22:08

We moved into the house dd loves it

We are very lucky to have it

Just so worried as health getting worse. Registered with new GP today who said she would expedite everything.

Thank you so much for thinking of me

OP posts:
balzamico · 10/03/2022 17:19

I'm so glad you loved and your dd is happy.
A fresh pair of eyes from a new GP can only be a good thing too.
Good luck

marthasGinyard · 10/03/2022 17:39

Thank you

She loves our new home I'm just struggling getting motivated. I'm fine when she's with me. A wreck when she's not.

OP posts:
PandoraVictoria · 10/03/2022 17:47

Are your current symptoms getting worse or are there new symptoms?

marthasGinyard · 11/03/2022 10:14

New symptoms and worsening very quickly.

We have moved now. After seeing new GP on Wednesday she said she will refer me to mnd clinic.

My daughter is amazing I'm terrified of not being here for her

I should have our new house beautiful by now I just try and sleep all day so I don't have to think about it

I'm strong when I'm with her

OP posts:
HeyThereDelilah1 · 12/03/2022 22:28

Just wanted to say also thinking of you and wishing the best for you, I hope you’re doing ok Flowers

flyingumbrellas · 12/03/2022 22:33

I feel for you so much OP. Sending you the biggest hug and Flowers. You've been and are going through too much, I'm so sorry.