Anyone else feel fed up about finances and living situation?

[Benjaminbutton12]

I am 31 and live with my partner. We live in a small rented studio flat, which has our living room, kitchen and bedroom in one room, then a small bathroom tacked on.
The inside is nice enough but it’s far too small for two, a lot of our stuff is still in bags as we just don’t have the space. We moved here just after Christmas as it was with the same agency I had previously been with, and it was faster and cheaper than starting again.

We pay £800 per month including all bills and council tax, and I guess we’re being ripped off.

I know we need to move ASAP and just feel down. Most people our age now seem to own nice houses and all seem to have a ‘spare room’ they’ve offered us to stay in. We don’t even have anywhere for guests to sit. I shouldn’t care what people think but I do feel some pressure.
We’re in the North West.

I don’t drive, I commute by bike or public transport and that’s another issue I feel down about. Again, most acquaintances of our age or younger seem to have pretty decent cars now. I can’t afford driving lessons plus a deposit for a home. My partner doesn’t drive either.

I have a degree and a qualification in a ‘professional’ career. I believe it was the wrong career choice for me, teaching, my behaviour management skills were very poor. I look young for my age and don’t think I was taken seriously by the children.
I work in social care, a career which I really enjoy but I earn £9.30 an hour. My partner earns slightly less in kitchen work. I shouldn’t do but I feel embarrassed and that people will judge me for being degree and PGCE-qualified but then going on to be a carer. Some people have made comments, even though it’s a rewarding career, but I will never make a lot of money from it.

This month has been a struggle. We’re paid four weekly, due to the date I started I was paid for 3 weeks, and despite me stating that this was my main job I was put on BR tax code and therefore taxed too much. I came out with £930 net whereas it should have been almost £400 more.

I get paid again on Friday but it’s been a struggle.
Sorry for the long rant, not sure what it’s going to achieve. I just feel stressed and down a lot of the time, and like I ‘should’ be in a better position by my age.
I don’t see a solution other than ‘get a well-paid job’?

@fashionSOS

Bit of an out there suggestion - but have you considered moving to London?

You could live in a bedsit/studio for the same money, but London Living Wage is £10.85/hour vs your £9.30/hour and the travel situation here is much better for someone who doesn't drive. Sometimes cheaper than the rest of the country (no, really) and definitely more connections and quicker.

A Wayfarer ticket in Greater Manchester is £14.70.

A peak cap for, say, zones 1 to 4, is £10.60.

Where in London can you rent a bedsit for £800?

@fashionSOS I don't believe you can rent a studio flat in London inclusive of bills for £800 a month.

@fashionSOS

Bit of an out there suggestion - but have you considered moving to London?

You could live in a bedsit/studio for the same money, but London Living Wage is £10.85/hour vs your £9.30/hour and the travel situation here is much better for someone who doesn't drive. Sometimes cheaper than the rest of the country (no, really) and definitely more connections and quicker.

A Wayfarer ticket in Greater Manchester is £14.70.

A peak cap for, say, zones 1 to 4, is £10.60.

You mean bedroom in a sharedhouse in zone 3/4?

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@fashionSOS I don't believe you can rent a studio flat in London inclusive of bills for £800 a month.[/quote]
Well, I don't know what to tell you, because I know for a fact you can.

I used to live in one, and I have friends who currently live in some - whilst the price has gone up slightly since I rented, they're still paying less than £800 in Zone 3.

Less than £800 inclusive of heat, light, fuel, internet and council tax. Basically inclusive of all property related bills.

Either you don't actually live in London, you haven't rented in London for a while, or you have a landlord who rents their property out through somewhere like Foxtons. As with most things in life, if you go direct, the price goes down.

Only landlords in London that will take her will be dangerous bad slum landlords and will be very small bad for one person very bad for two and will be in most dangerous area. Be HMO with substance users and people just out of prison. Maybe get a room in shared house for that price but she have to share bathroom and kitchen with load of strangers. Lots of jobs pay less than living wage in London. Not easy to get even that cos landlords most of them want 3 or 4 times the salary. Is lots of illegal dangerous places and landlords in London and rip off things like advertising but flat isn't real. Landlord take the money deposit then disappear.

Maybe some illegal subletting landlords.

The illegal ones pay gas electric and stuff cos they don't want to get found out subletting. Can be sometimes dangerous people doing it. Viewed one once. He told me he beat up a friend's tenant when he wanted to move back in. He didn't give notice and threatened them instead to make them leave immediately. Cheapest London studio or rooms be away from tube stations. Can be 3 hour round journey to work and back. Buses to tube or buses all the way cos cheaper than tube.

@nosafeguardingadults

Only landlords in London that will take her will be dangerous bad slum landlords and will be very small bad for one person very bad for two and will be in most dangerous area. Be HMO with substance users and people just out of prison. Maybe get a room in shared house for that price but she have to share bathroom and kitchen with load of strangers. Lots of jobs pay less than living wage in London. Not easy to get even that cos landlords most of them want 3 or 4 times the salary. Is lots of illegal dangerous places and landlords in London and rip off things like advertising but flat isn't real. Landlord take the money deposit then disappear.

That's an interesting world view you hold, @nosafeguardingadults. I don't think your experiences are reflective of the vast majority of people. Of course there are illegal landlords in any city - I wasn't recommending the OP moved into a slum block/illegal HMO.

And yes, by the definition of a bedsit, you might need to share a kitchen or bathroom with strangers (it's usually one or the other, not both, otherwise it's a room not a bedsit!) but that's pretty common in London.

The OP is already living somewhere that is very small for two people, so it's not as if she's used to living in a ten-bedroom mansion with a paddock outside. Based on the numbers she's provided, she could get a better quality lifestyle in London.

She wouldn't get more living space, but she'd feel more 'normal' in terms of not having much living space. Living in a studio/bedsit/house share outside of London? Expect judgement if you're not in your early 20s. Living in a studio/bedsit/house share in your 40s in London? No one will bat an eyelid.

She'd have better transport opportunities, making the lack of driving licence/car a complete non-issue.

She'd have access to jobs starting from a higher salary. If her costs stay broadly the same/drop, but her income goes up, then overall, she has access to a better quality of life.

Like I said, it's an out there suggestion. Maybe the OP is fond of Manchester and has personal reasons for not wanting to leave. But there is a better quality of life possible. If the OP doesn't want to explore leaving the city, she should at the very least look for alternative accommodation in Manchester. She's currently paying London prices for rent in a city that isn't actually London...

Don't think. or compare yourself to other people. and what they have. lots of people have things on finance, and have debts, and credit cards all over the place.

Is reality world view. Quality of life very bad in London. Destroys lives. Am living it and have lived it for whole life cos am from London. It has destroyed my life being from here cos if you have any problem like housing or domestic violence is worse place to be.

Have lived in very bad places not even cheap but for London cheap. Viewed very bad dangerous illegal places for years.

Be very careful original poster. London very very bad place if you end up vulnerable or need help. Is very bad. If your partner turns funny and beats you up or rapes you, no help in London. Websites say they help but you try reality of trying to get it.

Example victim support up to 2 month wait for help. They won't even talk to you even when you at risk of murder until your referral wait is up. Crisis line if you have trauma is bad is no good. They say, what do you want me to about and tell you to go to a&e. I was in refuge outside London and they help, nurses come out there. Other domestic abuse places in London is lottery if they want to help. Kind people working hard but also bad ones. Is lottery.

London bad lonely isolating frightening place if you need help. If you lose your job or ill, benefits lot less than rent. Landlords won't take you but councils have 1000s and 1000s on lists. They do everything they can to get rid of you. Even if domestic violence. Be very careful cos London very bad if you end up vulnerable in any way.

Sorry posting. Maybe you be ok but think more ok if young and temporary experience. If you already 30s, gets to age is not bearable anymore living that way.

London cold hard cruel place if you not good money and good health. Sorry if you think you ok to try it, is your choice. Just hope you realise the big bad risks cos London worse place for women needing help and need know if you making decisions.

@fashionSOS. I don't doubt you can get a house share in London for £800 but that's very different from a studio flat.

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

It is so unfair that people like you who are doing valuable jobs are so badly paid.

Part of the reason for this is the unlimited EU immigration we had for 20 years.

Now this has stopped, I am hoping that your wages will increase.

You would hope so to to cope with the rising cost of goods (due to rising labour costs). I'm concerned that wages won't rise to keep up with inflation.

[quote EmmaGrundyForPM]@fashionSOS. I don't doubt you can get a house share in London for £800 but that's very different from a studio flat.[/quote]
I was merely making the point that even living in a house share in London was not unusual.

I stand by my original comment that you can get a studio or a bedsit for £800 in London. (You will need to put the work in as they go quickly, but they do exist.) I've done it, and friends are currently doing it... You can all choose not to believe me if you want, but I think my experience is far more common than nosafeguardingadults's very sad experience.

Anyway, I'm out - the derailments aren't helping the OP. The point was, Manchester isn't the only option!

You sound directionless and lost, understandably. PLEASE contact the National Careers Service. The govt. are throwing money at getting people in training at the moment, seeing as so many people are changing jobs in this new world order in which we are living. My husband had a 1 hour video appt with a career adviser and left so uplifted and full of hope that I wanted to cry. He will be undergoing a training course that he will get for free, but wouldn't have pre-pandemic. It is also squashed into 5-8 months and can be studied for on top of his normal work. Guaranteed interview at the end. He has access to the careers lady for a year, can do practise interviews and she can help with his CV. You literally have not a thing to lose. Do it! x

I have known a couple of young teachers who struggled with class management skills. I knocks your confidence. You can't be a really poor teacher because you would not have passed the PGCE else. Sign up to a tutoring agency and once you have tutored a few students and they have made good progress your confidence will return and you could go back into teaching. The country is crying put for teachers so you would be forgiven leaving profession and welcomed back with school based induction training. You can ask for this to be focussed upon class management. You can do this op. Just believe in yourself. Your partner could get more money working through an agency for picking and packing and there is always overtime available. If you want a better lifestyle you have to implement changes. Only you can do it for yourself.

If you want to save for a deposit get a LISA. Do it quickly because you never know when Sunak might stop them for new savers as he is looking at ways to claw money back.