Anyone else feel fed up about finances and living situation?

[Benjaminbutton12]

I am 31 and live with my partner. We live in a small rented studio flat, which has our living room, kitchen and bedroom in one room, then a small bathroom tacked on.
The inside is nice enough but it’s far too small for two, a lot of our stuff is still in bags as we just don’t have the space. We moved here just after Christmas as it was with the same agency I had previously been with, and it was faster and cheaper than starting again.

We pay £800 per month including all bills and council tax, and I guess we’re being ripped off.

I know we need to move ASAP and just feel down. Most people our age now seem to own nice houses and all seem to have a ‘spare room’ they’ve offered us to stay in. We don’t even have anywhere for guests to sit. I shouldn’t care what people think but I do feel some pressure.
We’re in the North West.

I don’t drive, I commute by bike or public transport and that’s another issue I feel down about. Again, most acquaintances of our age or younger seem to have pretty decent cars now. I can’t afford driving lessons plus a deposit for a home. My partner doesn’t drive either.

I have a degree and a qualification in a ‘professional’ career. I believe it was the wrong career choice for me, teaching, my behaviour management skills were very poor. I look young for my age and don’t think I was taken seriously by the children.
I work in social care, a career which I really enjoy but I earn £9.30 an hour. My partner earns slightly less in kitchen work. I shouldn’t do but I feel embarrassed and that people will judge me for being degree and PGCE-qualified but then going on to be a carer. Some people have made comments, even though it’s a rewarding career, but I will never make a lot of money from it.

This month has been a struggle. We’re paid four weekly, due to the date I started I was paid for 3 weeks, and despite me stating that this was my main job I was put on BR tax code and therefore taxed too much. I came out with £930 net whereas it should have been almost £400 more.

I get paid again on Friday but it’s been a struggle.
Sorry for the long rant, not sure what it’s going to achieve. I just feel stressed and down a lot of the time, and like I ‘should’ be in a better position by my age.
I don’t see a solution other than ‘get a well-paid job’?

Care work can be rewarding but it’s badly paid with almost no career progression and no chance of increasing your pay.
Are you sure you can’t find a way to work as a teacher? It’s a good career with a pension a d holidays!!

I’d go nuts living in a studio flat with a partner. I don’t understand why you would chose to do that.
I’m also confused why you are quite so short of money. I get that you would not be flush with cash but if you are only spending £400 on your housing and bills then you should have plenty left over even after servicing your debt.
You need to decide what you want to do.

Hey OP you might be behind your peers in terms of assets etc but who cares? 30 is young, humans live longer and longer now. You have qualifications , experience and more importantly no children. This gives you plenty of flexibility to turn your life around.
I know many people who didn’t quite gel with the career they trained for. Took a while to find them something new but they’re now (at close to 40) on good salaries, able to afford a house. The narrative of social media and people around us makes us anxious and rush rush rush to get things done ASAP but that’s not needed! You’re hardworking and I’m sure you’ll make it one day!
Just wanted to support xx

Also to addI’m also in the NW greater Manchester there’s lots of opportunities here in terms of both jobs and affordable cost of living. You’re well placed

Could you teach adults? You might need to do a short course to qualify you.

I know know some teachers who now work in the charity sector doing jobs which require teaching skills. Less stress than being in a school, but harder to come by. They tend to get paid less than they would in a school but more than you're being paid.

I wouldn't worry about not driving. You'll be saving a fortune by not owning a car, walking and cycling are free exercise, and it's good for the environment. If you live in an area with good public transport and good cycle routes there's no need for a car.

You are probably living in a "nice" area if you're paying that much for a glorified bedsit. Right now on Rightmove in Manchester I can find a wide selection of two bedroom apartments with separate kitchens for less than £700- if you go for one bedroom you'd probably save £100 off that and then you wouldn't be too far off the £800 you're paying now once you add the bills to that.

I don't mean to be flippant, I know it's hard, but it would be less hard if you had a door to close between you and your partner on occasion, and you can easily have that for what you're paying now for your studio.

My first thoughts were that was a very expensive rent for studio flat - but if it includes council tax and fuel bills perhaps not as you would expect the two together to come to an extra £200 pm approx

There have been some great suggestions on here already - EFL tutoring seems like the one that could plug the financial gap fastest whilst you think of a long term plan. TA, Social work, nursing? You are both in the lowest paying sectors so if you want your pay to increase you will have to proactively move.

Manchester is an expensive city, my brother rented fairly centrally about 10 years ago and that was a lot for not much space. I guess if you move further out it would need good transport links as you don't drive - is that because you haven't passed your test or can't afford a car? There are loads of lovely cheaper towns around Manchester but you would need to look at transport links to see if it's feasible.

Don't compare yourself to others, particularly on cars - hardly anyone actually 'owns' their cars anymore - they just pay a monthly lease, which is what the car companies prefer as it gives them a steady income.

Definitely don't compare yourself to people who work in other sectors - it's not a fair comparison.

My son and DiL are in their 40's I own my own home outright but they just can't earn enough to get on the housing ladder.
I still work full time in the NHS, I'm in my 60's.
Our solution to the problem is for them to move to the South West from the South East, we'll buy a much bigger house with a granny annexe with a separate annexe for me, I only need one or two rooms and they will have the rest of the house.
They will be taking out a mortgage of £75k and I will be providing the rest.
We all get on and will live completely separately and I will not interfere, I have my own friends/life.
We're going ahead in spring 2020. I honestly think it's getting to the stage where the only way young people will be able to afford a home is to get back into close family units again. If you get on with your parents that is.
My DS has to get a driving licence before we get a place as there is no public transport here, he can have my car and I'll lease one for work.

If you're bringing home £1300 a month and your half of all rent and bills is £400, then you've got £900 a month left to spend. You could save half of that and be sitting on £6k in a year as a safety net. If your partner could match you, then within 3 years you'd have £36k deposit for a house, which should get you something in NW.

P.S I did an NHS degree in my 40's as I needed to earn more money and now earn 40k a year. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Degree with MSc is better as you'll get better promotion prospects.

SEN teaching. PMLD school, hospital school or similar

I think suggestions of looking for teaching role in a school for pupils with additional physical needs; or training to be a social worker sound like good suggestions.

Have you looked at apprenticeships? I'm not talking about the ones aimed at 16 year olds where you get £150 a week to be a dogsbody, I'm talking about ones that pay a reasonable wage while training. There are degree level apprenticeships (and higher) eg. for nursing that pay £18k plus shift allowance. There are lots of health/social care ones if you keep your eye out for them.

You really should be utilising your degree somehow. You have your qualifications. Get some career advice and progress up the career ladder. That doesn't necessarily mean teaching in the traditional sense but surely there are avenues open to you?
Adult education? Explore learning/kumon? University posts? Management?

And the obvious one is private tuition. Have you considered that? I don't think you've answered that question yet?

It's not great to compare yourself to others financially but when you are in a position to better yourself financially , you really should

If you are bringing home together about 2k, there is absolutely no reason to suffer living in a studio where you aren't happy... it sounds like an expensive option!
I am in NW, I moved 4 miles out of city, did my research on bus routes so I have options and I save shitload of money with that. Every time I was renting I did that (in different areas like WM as well)

It’s so hard but you have to ignore what other people have got and are doing. They may be in terrible debt, or hate their jobs but have to do them to maintain their lifestyle, or have family helping them.

Your accommodation sounds quite expensive and your pay is quite low. Any movement on either of those would help you, and if you’re struggling with the underpayment I’m assuming that you haven’t got money saved for a deposit anyway, so maybe you could look at lodging or house sharing to get more space and lower bills?

Positives:
Have jobs we enjoy
Have good level of skills that can be transferred into other jobs
Have ability to do tutoring, adult education, supply, learn more classroom management or go into a different role that uses care skills.
Able to walk/cycle to work.
No debt and good credit.
Don’t have an expensive lifestyle.

Cons:
Not much living space
Low pay
Financial insecurity

Those housing costs are on the dear side for a very crappy studio in an unlovely area of GM. The beauty of living in this region is that you don't have to pay that kind of money for shit housing. Especially if you're willing to be outside the Didsbury/Heatons/Prestwich/Alty type bubble and don't mind somewhere more working class, which it sounds like you are. There are other options.

Problem is, the areas ringing the city centre are often particularly bad value for money, because you're paying for proximity to town but the housing stock usually isn't that great and the social deprivation problems still remain. It's the worst of both worlds really, especially as I'm assuming you don't work in the city centre given that you're a carer. You can get cheaper whilst still on decent public transport routes if you move a bit further out. Does DP work in town? If he doesn't, you have even more choice really.

Thanks for all these replies, I’m going to start applying to courses this week, I am really motivated having read these posts and I am confident we will be able to do better.

I retired from Education recently and in the last few years I have seen lots of young people leave in there. NQT or the next year. Behaviour is a problem in a lot of schools but there are easier ones too. My neighbour has left too and she now has a job working for a charity. Another colleague had already started there and they both love it. Might be worth looking at family and children’s charities.

Your OP says £800 but later you mention £400 I gather less bills. My daughter was in the south west and 4 years ago was paying £850 rent for a two bedroom semi then the rent was put up to £900 and they couldn’t afford that. They were struggling as it was and both graduates with an old car and she had a bike. It is difficult.

Could you live further out or further north where it is cheaper? Good luck you have lots of suggestions to think about.

Sounds like with some upskilling you could be ready to make a move after Christmas. Could be ideal timing for some private tutoring, pre-exam. Could you specialise in particular subjects for GCSE or A-Level?

One of my friends is a senior carer. She does have a lot more responsibility and has had to do extra training but she earns £14/hour (that is in the South though - might be less further North).
Alternatively if you want to stay in your current job could you rent a large 2 bed flat/house and sublet a room out (not all rental contracts let you do this but lots do)? You'd have a lot more living space and someone else to share the bills with.
If you don't need a car you shouldn't feel bad about not having one! It's easy to compare yourself to others but with virtually no debt and managing each month you're doing a lot better than some people

Your OP says £800 but later you mention £400 I gather less bills

OP said £800 inc bills, so I presume a 50/50 split with her partner ie £400 per month for everything. If the council tax in a studio is maybe £100 a month, water £50, gas and electric perhaps £90 and then broadband too, that means rent alone is likely in the £500ish region and there are definitely better properties than a tiny studio to be had for that in GM, even assuming they need to stay close to good public transport links.

Your DP in a kitchen. What does he do? Because kitchen wages have risen above NMW now. Even for porters in most cases. If he cooks, he can really get better deal asap

It seems a shame to give up teaching over that. There's loads of styles and shouting or being very strict aren't always the right approach anyway. Have you considered teaching at a special needs school? A lot of pupils there won't tolerate strict behaviour management and instead need consistency and gentle understanding. You probably aren't bad at behaviour management, just haven't found your style. Maybe read into PACE? Really interesting ideas that don't work for everyone's style hut could resonate for you.

I struggled with behaviour management too, but once I found my style it was fine. I know older teens don't particularly respond to me the same way preteens do and now I know that it's easier to work with it. It's so hard starting out though.