Anyone else feel fed up about finances and living situation?

[Benjaminbutton12]

I am 31 and live with my partner. We live in a small rented studio flat, which has our living room, kitchen and bedroom in one room, then a small bathroom tacked on.
The inside is nice enough but it’s far too small for two, a lot of our stuff is still in bags as we just don’t have the space. We moved here just after Christmas as it was with the same agency I had previously been with, and it was faster and cheaper than starting again.

We pay £800 per month including all bills and council tax, and I guess we’re being ripped off.

I know we need to move ASAP and just feel down. Most people our age now seem to own nice houses and all seem to have a ‘spare room’ they’ve offered us to stay in. We don’t even have anywhere for guests to sit. I shouldn’t care what people think but I do feel some pressure.
We’re in the North West.

I don’t drive, I commute by bike or public transport and that’s another issue I feel down about. Again, most acquaintances of our age or younger seem to have pretty decent cars now. I can’t afford driving lessons plus a deposit for a home. My partner doesn’t drive either.

I have a degree and a qualification in a ‘professional’ career. I believe it was the wrong career choice for me, teaching, my behaviour management skills were very poor. I look young for my age and don’t think I was taken seriously by the children.
I work in social care, a career which I really enjoy but I earn £9.30 an hour. My partner earns slightly less in kitchen work. I shouldn’t do but I feel embarrassed and that people will judge me for being degree and PGCE-qualified but then going on to be a carer. Some people have made comments, even though it’s a rewarding career, but I will never make a lot of money from it.

This month has been a struggle. We’re paid four weekly, due to the date I started I was paid for 3 weeks, and despite me stating that this was my main job I was put on BR tax code and therefore taxed too much. I came out with £930 net whereas it should have been almost £400 more.

I get paid again on Friday but it’s been a struggle.
Sorry for the long rant, not sure what it’s going to achieve. I just feel stressed and down a lot of the time, and like I ‘should’ be in a better position by my age.
I don’t see a solution other than ‘get a well-paid job’?

Well above NMW, not just above, of course

@Benjaminbutton12

The paid social work training looks great. I really don’t think I should be a teacher, I am just not strict, I’ve been called ‘cute’ by pupils and I get told I’m too nice. I’ve no idea how I passed the pgce. Adult education could be good in a college, the social work paid courses also look great, just looking at them now.

Those aren’t good reasons not to be a teacher. 😕. You wouldn’t have passed your pgce if you weren’t capable of teaching.

OP said £800 inc bills, so I presume a 50/50 split with her partner ie £400 per month for everything. If the council tax in a studio is maybe £100 a month, water £50, gas and electric perhaps £90 and then broadband too, that means rent alone is likely in the £500ish region and there are definitely better properties than a tiny studio to be had for that in GM, even assuming they need to stay close to good public transport links.

I don't think you can rent much for £500 in GM these days.

If you enjoy social care can you retrain as a social worker. The pay and prospects are much better

Could you move further out of town op?
Say to Bury, but central and then cycle/ tram or cycle/bus . To save on rent

I live in a rented 3 bed in Greater London. I pay 1450 a month. My household bills total around 2k per month. It is tight each month but I am desperate to get out of the cycle of renting and feeling like I have nothing to show for it. Its awful xx

2k including my rent!! x

Loads of good ideas here, I second the suggestions about working in education/care jobs that aren't mainstream teaching (plenty of different options).

Just a thought that occurred to me- I know your DP doesn't want to move but psychologically do you think you'd feel happier in a one bed place just so you've got that bit of extra space, I can't imagine the running costs would be that much more depending on area although I appreciate you'll be limited a bit by transport options. That said I don't think driving needs to be a priority for you at the moment as you seem to be managing as you are with that side of things.

I just think I'd struggle with living out of bags too whereas even a small one bed gives you quite a bit more space and a bit more of a rooted feeling if your stuff is in cupboards rather than bags.

@GreenLunchBox

OP said £800 inc bills, so I presume a 50/50 split with her partner ie £400 per month for everything. If the council tax in a studio is maybe £100 a month, water £50, gas and electric perhaps £90 and then broadband too, that means rent alone is likely in the £500ish region and there are definitely better properties than a tiny studio to be had for that in GM, even assuming they need to stay close to good public transport links.

I don't think you can rent much for £500 in GM these days.

There are dozens of properties on rightmove for £500 or less, most of which were either cheaper or larger than what OP has now. Granted I don't know how quickly lets are going etc, but the way OP describes her housing situation it's likely they could spend less for the same accommodation quality or get more for their £500ish rent.

I’m going to discuss it with him this evening about moving to a larger rented place. I think a social worker role is something I’d be highly interested in and definitely a paid training course. appreciate all the suggestions on here, got to get myself into gear now

I’m not so sure becoming a social worker would work though. You need to give it some serious thought. If you are worried you aren’t taken seriously and are thought of as young and ‘cute’ as a teacher then I’m not sure why it would be different if you were a social worker.

It’s funny that your user name is ‘Benjamin Button’ 👀

I live in GM however I’d say tbh if it includes bills that £800 a month isn’t that bad. Someone has suggested Bury- even a flat is going to set you back £600ish a month without bills and then you’ve reduced your access to many jobs. I would recommend NOT moving until you’ve future planned.

I would echo what @TrollsAreSaddos has said about social work. I work in mental health- I’m happy to be told I’m wrong- but as a support worker / carer it’s seems you just get to be your patients advocate but when you are the social worker you’ve sometimes got to give people a reality that’s hard to face. Funds and housing are hard to come by and often you will have to bluntly tell people they are entitled to nothing, or nothing like they probably expected or deserved. You need to have a thick skin, and you will get abuse worse than any teenage child could hit you with. There are rewarding parts but also lots of targets, pressures, and challenges too.

I say this not to be unkind but because I think you need to think really carefully about your next step and go in eyes open. You are at least earning and safely housed- you have time to consider your next step. Would you be able to access careers counselling through your university alumni?

A suggestion for free training I have made to some are these digital boot camps- might not be up your street but thought I may as well share www.greatermanchester-ca.gov.uk/what-we-do/digital/digital-talent-pipeline/digital-skills-bootcamps/

Look at www.greater.jobs at what roles are available. There are quite a few education delivery jobs for the fire service, and roles involving youth work, which would all pay more than you earn now and strengthen future applications if you wanted to consider social work.

It’s good you’re saving money on a car but a driving license is a requirement for a lot of social care jobs- I would prioritise getting a license over saving for a deposit. If you increase your earnings you will be able to save for a deposit then.

Yep. We pay 1000 a month. No spare. It's shit.

If you are bringing home £1300 and you only pay £400 for rent and utilities you should be able to save easily. Be patient. I was in this position on minimum wage a few years ago. And I was a qualified teacher. I lived like that for 2 years and we saved a lot between us. Now we own a house and I am teaching again. Oh, and I couldn't drive but I learnt and bought a very cheap car. We share a car. Good luck.

While you are busy comparing yourself to others someone will be comparing themselves to you.

Ah, OP, you sound how I feel.
I'm in a place I don't like and seemingly no way out of it at the moment.
I don't really have much to say except I truly sympathise.
I'm struggling to change my life with a toddler so I've put any changes on hold and am just grinning and bearing. I wish I had the entrepreneurial skills some others have.
I truly hope things go the way you want them

Apart from moving- you can be a carer and in hospitality anywhere- desperate for both down West Wales, and teaching here is in demand too!
rent here for a 3bed with garden , next to beach is approx £600pm...
Id say move tbh.

Don’t move. Bear it where you live. Save your money for a deposit.

I have a trained teacher friend - she never quite settled in the classroom settings. But is doing really well offering tutoring & works within homeschool network to provide ‘lessons’ for 4-6 children during the day. Some are done by zoom some are in peoples kitchens!
She’s a lot happier and manages her diary herself. Earns ok - risk is she is self employed but so far all ok even going on maternity leave!

Thats a lot of money. I rent out a flat which sounds similar to yours in central Sheffield for £375 pcm. Is there really nothing cheaper in your area?

I wonder if you could do a role in an adult training company? See if there are any entry level options at training based companies based on your experience and qualifications. The fact that you left your teaching role but took something else straight away while you make longer term plans and decisions is a positive that you should be proud of, it shows good work ethic. I think the better paid job should be your aim and am sure you can do it. Good luck

@Benjaminbutton12 haven’t read the full thread so unsure if this has been suggested, but you would be snapped up by a special school if you have social care experience. I teach PMLD children and many of the skills required are the sort of thing i imagine you have in spades) I am currently on £45k (not London or fringes) and have only been doing it three years (in mainstream before and hated it). Would definitely recommend investigating.

Hi OP. I’m not sure if I have missed it but who do you work for? Carer roles and salaries vary greatly. I would look at local authority care posts or NHS. Better t&cs. Also I think you need to think about a second job. I worked in a fairly low paid social care role in my twenties but I managed to buy a flat myself by taking on a second job in a call centre but one that added to my skill set - health & social care. I worked a night of two a week and really enjoyed it. Also an early shift at weekend. So on average I worked an extra 20 hours a week (I was young! ) on top of my f/t job. It was the only way I could afford my mortgage and be able to run a car etc. I did this 2 job thing for about 15 years. In that time my career progressed and I gained more qualifications. Please don’t compare yourself to others. Can’t believe a house has an insta account. I’m so old!

There are some nursing courses that come with bursaries I think now. You can do a 2 year ODP course or there may even be a conversion course. Most students top up their income with hospital bank work as a care assistant. But long term, if you like the work, it would be worth doing financially.

Money wise it will feel a lot better once you get your full salary.

Plus your DP should exploit the current shortage in hospitality by getting the best pay and conditions he can. Then between you, you will have a fairly decent income each month and if you're not running cars your essential expenses are low.

Then your choice is to either stay where you are and save hard so you can afford to buy sooner or move somewhere bigger where it's a bit more comfortable because obviously 2 people in a studio is cosy to say the least.

But £800 pm including all bills is quite low between 2 of you. If you moved to a one bed flat, you'd probably need to add around £250 pm minimum for council tax, water, utilities, possibly broadband?