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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2nd Met Police officer has been charged with rape

467 replies

Rinoachicken · 03/10/2021 23:04

He worked in the same dept as WC.

It’s being very widely reported, except by the BBC.

AIBU to be sickened and wonder WHY the BBC are not reporting this?

Link: www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/03/metropolitan-police-officer-charged-rape-hertfordshire?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 15:39

you're treating it as if they happen equally. They don't
That's not what aim doing. It's what posters on a mission are opting to read. I'm not weighing one against the others.

I'm saying both are wrong. I'm saying people are entitled to a fair trial.

Nothing more than that however much some posters want to read more into it because they can't accept not everyone agrees with them.

vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 15:42

Again, no one has said he’s guilty
Posters are treating him as such. Otherwise why the link between this case and the incidence of rape by police officers?

God forbid women have a voice
You speak on behalf of women, I speak on behalf of myself.

Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 15:42

@vivainsomnia

you're treating it as if they happen equally. They don't That's not what aim doing. It's what posters on a mission are opting to read. I'm not weighing one against the others.

I'm saying both are wrong. I'm saying people are entitled to a fair trial.

Nothing more than that however much some posters want to read more into it because they can't accept not everyone agrees with them.

How do you square that circle then? How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?
mustlovegin · 04/10/2021 15:47

How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?

That's what the judiciary system is for. Nobody has to believe anything at face value.

I feel for the posters who have had to go through horrible experiences, but that does not justify demonising entire groups (and discriminating people as 'a class') or taking the law into our own hands, I'm afraid

vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 15:48

How do you square that circle then? How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?

It's not the job of any stranger, including the police, to believe or disbelieve. They owe the public to investigate fairly and bias free. That's all.

Family members and friends owe the person to believe them.

pelosi · 04/10/2021 15:48

@vivainsomnia

Again, no one has said he’s guilty Posters are treating him as such. Otherwise why the link between this case and the incidence of rape by police officers?

God forbid women have a voice
You speak on behalf of women, I speak on behalf of myself.

Talking about the consequences of another police officer being charged with rape is not treating him as guilty.

Even the judges haven’t silenced the public by granting a super-injunction or other blocking order so why do you feel you can tell women to shut up?

It’s clear you only speak yourself because you have shown no concern for women. Whereas we do care what happens to women, even if we’re not related to them or don’t know them.

Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 15:50

@mustlovegin

How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?

That's what the judiciary system is for. Nobody has to believe anything at face value.

I feel for the posters who have had to go through horrible experiences, but that does not justify demonising entire groups (and discriminating people as 'a class') or taking the law into our own hands, I'm afraid

Ok. Well, good luck looking your children in the eye when they ask what you did to improve society and you say ‘well, I didn’t have an opinion, I didn’t want to judge rapists in the police’.
Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 15:50

@vivainsomnia

How do you square that circle then? How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?

It's not the job of any stranger, including the police, to believe or disbelieve. They owe the public to investigate fairly and bias free. That's all.

Family members and friends owe the person to believe them.

Aaaaaand, see above.
OtherInfo · 04/10/2021 15:56

It is on the BBC now they just tend to take longer to get stories out, presumably because they double check more.

I'd like some journalists to do a FoI request on sexual assault allegations against police officers. I'm wondering if this is actually so common it's barely reported normally.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 04/10/2021 15:57

@Thelnebriati

Women are living in fear but do please tell us about men's hurt feelings.
It incenses me. As a twice-victim of rape, who still even into my forties experiences low-level harassment from men ALL the goddamned time, the handmaids and NAMALTers are cordially invited to get on a one-way train to fuck with their unhelpful, priggish, mealy-mouthed, callous enabling and minimising of men's constant invasion of mine and other women's space, dignity, and safety. And when they get there, keep right on going.

'But what about the men?' does not fly with trauma victims who have suffered repeatedly at the hands of men. It makes an appearance on very thread where women are speaking of the most hideous experiences foisted on them by the other sex-class. EVERY one. Such threads illustrate loudly and clearly how even here, a site populated mainly by women and speaking to women's experiences, few people give screw about women and girls in this society. Every last one of the minimizers and enablers should be thoroughly ashamed. But they won't be. They lack the insight.

BudrosBudrosGalli · 04/10/2021 15:57

@YerAWizardHarry This thread is not about you or your son. Shame on you for trying to derail an important discussion.

vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 15:59

Talking about the consequences of another police officer being charged with rape is not treating him as guilty
Good try back pedalling! This thread has very much gone on with the assumption that he is guilty, so much do that MN had to intervene to remind posters that this was not appropriate.

What are the consequences of talking of another police officer accused of rape if we make no assumption at all of his guilt?

Original poster
Rinoachicken · 04/10/2021 16:01

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

100%

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 16:01

Well, good luck looking your children in the eye when they ask what you did to improve society and you say ‘well, I didn’t have an opinion, I didn’t want to judge rapists in the police
I'll look my kids in the eye and remind them that they are not God, that they don't get to judge peoples guilt. That we are a judicial system for that and what I do for society is respect that system and let them do their job.

Standstheclockattentothree · 04/10/2021 16:01

@mustlovegin

How do you believe women but still guarantee absolutely zero false accusations?

That's what the judiciary system is for. Nobody has to believe anything at face value.

I feel for the posters who have had to go through horrible experiences, but that does not justify demonising entire groups (and discriminating people as 'a class') or taking the law into our own hands, I'm afraid

But still, what if that group are institutionally racism or there is institutional misogyny? Is that demonising, of just telling the truth? Or shouldn't we believe Sue Fish?

I'm not aware of anyone suggesting 'taking the law into our own hands'.

Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 16:02

@vivainsomnia

Talking about the consequences of another police officer being charged with rape is not treating him as guilty Good try back pedalling! This thread has very much gone on with the assumption that he is guilty, so much do that MN had to intervene to remind posters that this was not appropriate.

What are the consequences of talking of another police officer accused of rape if we make no assumption at all of his guilt?

Any suggestions what to do about police corruption if we can only talk about it once they’re convicted?
Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 16:03

@vivainsomnia

Well, good luck looking your children in the eye when they ask what you did to improve society and you say ‘well, I didn’t have an opinion, I didn’t want to judge rapists in the police I'll look my kids in the eye and remind them that they are not God, that they don't get to judge peoples guilt. That we are a judicial system for that and what I do for society is respect that system and let them do their job.
And if they say ‘it’s really weird, the Police force has been corrupt for decades, were you not furious and desperate for change after what happened to Sarah Everard?’
thedancingbear · 04/10/2021 16:06

@mustlovegin

We're discussing the toxicity of the UK police as a class here

You can discuss it all you like.

'Toxicity as a class' does not exist though, no matter how long you keep on repeating it, and many will understandably get irritated and worried by the constant agitation against the police force.

What other characteristics do you think should be attributed to other groups 'as a class' BTW?

You have nothing useful to contribute here. I'm not engaging further.
mustlovegin · 04/10/2021 16:07

if that group are institutionally racism or there is institutional misogyny

Do you realise that when you keep on saying 'institutional' this or that you are effectively discriminating a group of people? It may be ok with you, but I'm not going to entertain that concept. It's false and immoral

Spiindoctor · 04/10/2021 16:08

The fact that there are so many rapes means we should look at the whole of society. Definitely the police have to get themselves sorted but really enforcing proper punishments starting at school level is needed.
The sexist treatment schoolgirls accept as the norm is a disastrous way for boys to start on their way to adulthood. I know it stems from online porn but there's no reason it should be excused or accepted.

vivainsomnia · 04/10/2021 16:09

Any suggestions what to do about police corruption if we can only talk about it once they’re convicted?
What's your suggestion?

Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 16:10

@mustlovegin

if that group are institutionally racism or there is institutional misogyny

Do you realise that when you keep on saying 'institutional' this or that you are effectively discriminating a group of people? It may be ok with you, but I'm not going to entertain that concept. It's false and immoral

How are you going to improve the entire police force then?
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 04/10/2021 16:10

@mustlovegin

if that group are institutionally racism or there is institutional misogyny

Do you realise that when you keep on saying 'institutional' this or that you are effectively discriminating a group of people? It may be ok with you, but I'm not going to entertain that concept. It's false and immoral

Tell that to Doreen Lawrence.
Pumperthepumper · 04/10/2021 16:10

@vivainsomnia

Any suggestions what to do about police corruption if we can only talk about it once they’re convicted? What's your suggestion?
My suggestion is: we reform the police.
LizzieW1969 · 04/10/2021 16:13

Women are living in fear but do please tell us about men's hurt feelings.

^Exactly, it happens on every single thread about male violence.