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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dropping out of wedding last minute

150 replies

weddingwedding · 02/10/2021 18:48

Wedding booked for next weekend, save the dates went out last year and invitations 2 months ago.

Wedding taking place is brides home town, lots of Londoners travelling down.

A group of 6 RSVP'd yes but did not book accommodation until this week and there is nothing left so now can't make it.

Caterers paid etc, bride annoyed.

Who is BU? Guests or bride?

OP posts:
Tulips15 · 02/10/2021 19:18

Guests.

Save the date and then invites are plenty of notice

Jangle33 · 02/10/2021 19:19

Guests definitely.

But if it’s an area with limited accommodation then as a Bride above have pre booked a hotel and/or made very clear of the potential shortage in the wedding info.

I also agree 6-8 weeks is late notice, with Covid I’d have been wondering whether save the date still stood - people have a lot on their plates right now.

Notonthestairs · 02/10/2021 19:19

Why didn't they try to book when they received the invite? 8 weeks is plenty of notice.

Original poster
weddingwedding · 02/10/2021 19:21

@ToykotoLosAngeles yes this did cross my mind that it's why they waited as the news was up and down. But I'd assumed people would book things that were refundable.

Why would December not be fine now though?!

OP posts:
Shelddd · 02/10/2021 19:22

Who cares when invites went out? As they RSVP'd and should have sorted out their arrangements right after. Don't RSVP if you can't make it work.

In fact the later you RSVP the more likely you should be to show up!! as there is less time for something to come up.

Gilly12345 · 02/10/2021 19:24

We’re the guests offered any info about local hotels?

It really is the guests fault but what help if any did they ask for or was offered?

AFuturisticalSound · 02/10/2021 19:24

Is there another event going on locally? I'm surprised that there would be absolutely nowhere in doable distance from the wedding available.

No b & bs or serviced accomodation?

20viona · 02/10/2021 19:24

Guests are complete idiots.

RevolutionRadio · 02/10/2021 19:24

Guests, I'd have looked at the cost of accommodation and then booked before I sent the RSVP.

I wouldn't have booked when I got the save the date as I've been sent them before and then only been invited to the reception, it wasn't convenient to spend so long travelling for a few hours of the evening.

Hercisback · 02/10/2021 19:25

Guests.

Is there really absolutely nothing?

WimpoleHat · 02/10/2021 19:25

Guests! Without a doubt. And there’s always a way round it, just maybe at more inconvenience than they’d imagined….

LIZS · 02/10/2021 19:27

It seems unlikely there is nothing unless the venue very remote, even if air bnb or a lodge. Suspect it is more a case of it now being more than they wish to pay.

underneaththeash · 02/10/2021 19:28

I don't believe there's nothing either.

Asleanna · 02/10/2021 19:29

Guests are unreasonable BUT 2 months is not a lot of notice really. Especially if area doesn't have a lot of accommodation options.

WeAllHaveWings · 02/10/2021 19:30

Guests 100%

Not sure why people are saying the invites were sent out too late, the wedding is next week, they've had 7 weeks to book and they only tried to book accommodation last week!!!! 🙄

bridgetreilly · 02/10/2021 19:31

If you RSVP, it’s on you to sort out accommodation. Guests are BU.

MrsJBaptiste · 02/10/2021 19:34

Guests are totally unreasonable.

If there isn't any accommodation (I can't imagine they can't find anything even if it's £££) then they should drive. Six people dropping out is totally out of order.

MrsColon · 02/10/2021 19:34

Guest ABU.

However: with covid I can see why they didn't book in advance.

Why don't they book cheaper accommodation an hour or so away and book a minibus? Or one of them not drink so they can drive home? It's very rude of them.

lalafafa · 02/10/2021 19:34

Very poor form from the guests.

StrongLegs · 02/10/2021 19:35

I think a lot of things are very unpredictable at the moment and you may just have to accept that it is not possible to have things perfect. Probably better that way than to get high blood pressure over it.

GraceAnatomy · 02/10/2021 19:35

Guests are the unreasonable ones.

Curious to know how much in advance is appropriate for those saying 8 weeks is short notice? Especially when a save the date invites were sent 52 weeks ago. Personally I think it's ample time to organise accommodation if it's required.

Hope your wedding I amazing OP.

FriendshipHelp · 02/10/2021 19:37

Guests are. Appreciate with covid letti mg people know late but also with covid 6 weeks really isn’t enough time with accommodations booked out across the country.
I hope you can find some people to fill their spot. I’ve been added to the day list from evening and was more than happy to go

Eddielzzard · 02/10/2021 19:38

That's really awful. No way would I do this as a guest. Just horrible.

So sorry Flowers

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/10/2021 19:39

I don’t think much about save the dates, many don’t. They are usually vague and don’t mention the venue, place, if you’re invited to the whole thing or a token invite to just part etc.
I’d not be booking anything two months in advance, however I wouldn’t have rsvpd yes.

Cherrysoup · 02/10/2021 19:41

Guests. I’d be furious. I bet that’s costing you a fortune. Wankers.

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