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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dropping out of wedding last minute

150 replies

weddingwedding · 02/10/2021 18:48

Wedding booked for next weekend, save the dates went out last year and invitations 2 months ago.

Wedding taking place is brides home town, lots of Londoners travelling down.

A group of 6 RSVP'd yes but did not book accommodation until this week and there is nothing left so now can't make it.

Caterers paid etc, bride annoyed.

Who is BU? Guests or bride?

OP posts:
Clymene · 02/10/2021 18:58

Guests are idiotic.

traintraveller · 02/10/2021 18:59

@MardyBra

Although the invitations should have gone out sooner than two months ago.
Why? Save the dates went out last year. Guests are being unreasonable
cushioncovers · 02/10/2021 19:00

Guests for not booking as soon as they knew they were going. However the invites went out quite late. Is there no accommodation available at all ? Not even within a 5-10 mile radius?

Clymene · 02/10/2021 19:00

They had 2 months to book something and they didn't.

DollyPartBaked · 02/10/2021 19:01

Guests - they should find something further out and arrange for transportation.

PeachCottonTree · 02/10/2021 19:01

Guests definitely! Doesn’t matter when the invites were sent out as they replied to say they were coming. The issue is that they didn’t bother to look for the accommodation they needed at the time and they left it until the last minute which would have happened no matter when they received the invite.

kateg27 · 02/10/2021 19:02

Guests! Who on earth wait until the week f the wedding 🤷🏼‍♀️ I've got two weddings booked next year that require overnight stays, I've booked the accommodation already.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 02/10/2021 19:04

Guests. Very late invitations though! I bet there's a lot of this going on though; I am not at all convinced a wedding I'm invited to in December won't be back to restricted numbers so I won't be booking anything non-refundable.

Viviennemary · 02/10/2021 19:06

Its all works out quite expensive with having to book rooms. But they shouldnt have accepted. They might have just decided they couldn't afford it and left it till there was no accommodation available.

QuiltedHippo · 02/10/2021 19:06

Guests, I just rsvp'd to a summer 2022 wedding and booked a hotel immediately afterwards.

Invites aren't late either if save the dates were sent

godmum56 · 02/10/2021 19:07

guests

MaggieFS · 02/10/2021 19:07

Six weeks was traditional but is very late these days, especially if travel and accommodation need booking (assuming details weren't on the save the date).

But of course it's the guests.

meditrina · 02/10/2021 19:09

Guests.

With STDs plus 2 months since the invitation, they should have been able to sort something out. They shouid have checlkd accommodation when they were RSVPing. If there was nothing available, then they shouid have sent their regrets then, not back out a week before

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/10/2021 19:09

Neither. I don’t blame anyone not booking hotels etc as the situation with covid is very fluid. In normal times I’d say they should have booked before replying.
The save the date depends on whether it was just a date or had the details of the venue etc on it.

Redtartanshoes · 02/10/2021 19:09

STD’s Grin

Nancydrawn · 02/10/2021 19:10

Guests, no question.

As long as the save the date was send with accommodation information/link to a wedding website, there is no need to send the actual invitations out sooner.

That said, while traditional is six to eight weeks, when travel is involved I would generally say three months is better than two.

Kerikerikeri · 02/10/2021 19:10

Guests

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/10/2021 19:10

The guests are unreasonable but as Toykoto mentioned, people may not have wanted to pay upfront due to potential restrictions. It’s obvious places would be booked by then especially with the pandemic, places have been massively booked up with staycations.

Will you just write this off or find a solution at friends or families homes etc?

Teeturtle · 02/10/2021 19:10

I think the invitations were late going out, but the guests still had seven weeks to look for accommodation and sounds like they haven’t until just now. So definitely the guests fault.

Janaih · 02/10/2021 19:12

You get free reservations on booking.com and other sites, no excuse not to book when confirming attendance.

6 weeks is fine as long as the save the date recipients all got an invitation too. I've heard on here of some save the dates not making the final cut. Outrageous!

MiddlesexGirl · 02/10/2021 19:14

Can they not find accommodation as 2 per hotel /B&B? They won't be together but that's their fault

DriftingBlue · 02/10/2021 19:15

Almost every wedding I have attended has required travel. When I get the save the date, if it isn’t clear what nights I need to be present, I contact the bride and groom for clarification. At that point I book accommodation, I just make sure it’s fully refundable until close to the wedding.

With Covid I understand not wanting to get locked into an accommodation you might have to cancel, but that is why it’s worth using a hotel with a good cancellation policy, even if it isn’t the cheapest option.

Saoirse82 · 02/10/2021 19:16

@ThroughThickAndThin01

Save the date, and then two month to go invites does not make the no shows the brides fault. It’s a lot of notice.
This! Save the dates already went out last year and it's standard for wedding invites to go out 2 months before the wedding. The guests are cheeky fuckers, but every wedding has them unfortunately.
ImitationofBeing · 02/10/2021 19:17

TBH I don't book stuff based on a STD due to having received a STD then no formal invite. And with covid I'd only be booking on a firm invite.

Whentheydontmeanwhattheysay · 02/10/2021 19:18

Guests are VU.

Are they family or friends? Not that it matters, just wondering how much contact you would have to have with them in future.

Enjoy your special day @weddingwedding Flowers

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