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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:

chinashopbull · 03/10/2021 00:16

If I'm scared of dogs, I would exercise a mile away from an family who has a dog playing catch ball. If however it was the other way round, you would be u for going right next to a exercising man to play catch ball. The man sounds like a knob.

onelittlefrog · 03/10/2021 05:25

[quote disculpe]@Addicted2LoveIsland Thanks for your comment and advice. Yes, I'm frustrated with myself now that I didn't just put her on the lead and go elsewhere - normally the second I see another dog or child anywhere nearby she goes straight back on her lead. Lapse in judgment on my part. Regardless of whether he was right or wrong I should have just avoided the situation entirely. [/quote]
Exactly.

You were feeling stubborn and that resulted in your dog bothering him, which it shouldn't have been allowed to.

However, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did/ shouted at you.

Hardybloodyhar · 03/10/2021 05:59

15 feet is ridiculously close. An average adult is between 5&6 feet, so he is within three body lengths of you.
A big dog like that would need a huge range for exercise too, so you would have been throwing the ball 30 feet, or more (if you have a decent throwing arm).
Obviously he wasn't in front of you, but I think subconsciously most normal people would set up outside the 'range' of any existing activity, so around 30 or 40 ft minimum, which is 6-8 body lengths away from a person with a dog and child.
Normally I'd say he was BU, but that was ridiculously close.
How could you not notice a huge boisterous dog at that range?

Pureau · 03/10/2021 06:03

YABU because your dog upset his manly man flex.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 03/10/2021 06:19

YANBU, he was a nob. Probably making some passive aggressive point about his right to be in that space and inviting something to happen, whereas most normal people would stay on the other side of the field.

And not react the way he did towards a playful puppy. The dog was probably using her own instincts that someone from another pack was in their space unwarrantedly and if he had stayed further away, wouldn't have bothered with him at all.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/10/2021 06:43

This is not a case of one of you being unreasonable and the other reasonable. You were both very unreasonable.

CharleyMarley · 03/10/2021 07:38

@Floralnomad

People always congregate near others , have you never noticed that if you park in a near empty car park somebody always parks right next to you . Whether this man was right or wrong you cannot justify your dog jumping in his face , if you cannot control your dog you should have moved .

What a daft thing to say. I certainly don't. I'm an empty car park I would go furthest away. Maybe YOU would do that. But how. An you say ALL people do that?

Anyway OP, I am not keen on GS dogs, and would hate one in my face. And I cannot stand dogs off leads who can't be controlled. However, I actually think what your dog did was fine. He was totally under control until a strange man came too close and did unexpected actions. So I think it's the man's idiocy that caused this.

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 07:46

You should have put the dog straight onto a line/lead as soon as soon as this man entered the vicinity as you are aware your puppy is a bit unpredictable. But you sound reasonable and I'm sure you are now very aware of expectations. This thread is very clear.

BUT who goes and exercises 15 ft away from someone throwing for their dog? In a massive empty field. Come on.

ModerateOven · 03/10/2021 08:11

YABVU - a pretty much fully grown German Shephard is a very intimidating dog

Exactly. Op wasn't a woman alone in a field with her child. They had a bloody great dog with them!!

londonrach · 03/10/2021 08:28

Yabu. As you couldn't recall your puppy when someone comes into the area you pop it back onto a lead...it could have been a child. Yesterday two large labs ran at my daughter aged 5 and her friend...jumping all over them...the owner...I didn't see you there. We collecting conkers...both children vvvv frightened by these large dogs jumping at them and normally both very good with dogs. It's the unexpected jumping. In our case dogs calmed down and as both children have been taught asked owner if safe to touch and luckily no harm caused as both children were ok...but a year ago I'd have had a screaming 4 year old.... dogs on leads if you see other people unless you have perfect recall!

AICM · 03/10/2021 08:39

The man was probably being a bit stupid but the issue here is you did not have control of your dog in a public place.

kinzarose · 03/10/2021 08:49

YABVU. It really doesn't matter how close or inconsiderate he was, by law if your dog had bitten him you as the owner are to blame. By your own admission the dog is unpredictable.
Those saying that a puppy needs to learn in an open field... Do you really think all open spaces should be reserved for puppies in training?! Take the puppy to obedience/training classes, where I assume there is a safe space for them to be off the lead.

gogohm · 03/10/2021 08:50

If your dog is already 10 months and still not predictable please get professional help with training. With such a big breed you cannot have any unpredictability and should have bear perfect recall by 10 months. A decent dog trainer should be able to teach you how to get them fully trained. There are scatty breeds with poor recall but gsd's aren't one of them, they are very trainable including your dog shouldn't be approaching other dogs unless you tell them it's ok, many dogs are intimidated by gsds do you have to over compensate with them being the best trained dog in the park (same with other big breeds really, they have to put up with stupid toy sized dogs snapping at them and they can't growl back because people then have the cheek to complain about your dog when it was theirs that started it! Yes been there)

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 03/10/2021 08:52

Perfect recall at 10 months ?!

I sympathise OP, I have a large breed puppy. He looks like wolf (people say) and is bigger than most dogs already. So I am very selective about letting him off lead, and pop him back on if other people approach. I think it’s our duty as dog owners to avoid situations as you describe, IMO

ModerateOven · 03/10/2021 08:58

He was asking for it?
Well played.

Penistoe · 03/10/2021 09:00

It feels like you are also making this into an issue of womens safety to water down your behaviour in this post. I am not down with that.

Ps Yabu dogs need to be controlled. Train them in your own garden.

lollipoprainbow · 03/10/2021 09:03

Is this about him shouting at your dog or being too close to you ?? The implication being that he was going to attack you ?! Things have got way out of hand. Men can't do anything now without suspicion.

Draineddraineddrained · 03/10/2021 09:04

You don't own the field. It's not "intimidating" for him to come and exercise near you in a public field, it's not like he's stalking you at midnight down a dark alleyway. It is intimidating for someone who doesn't like dogs to have them run up and harass them. Thus you should have kept your badly behaved dog on a lead when it can't be trusted to behave itself around people. There is no debate here, YWB massively U and are grasping around for some reason it's not your fault you didn't control your potentially dangerous animal.

RickJames · 03/10/2021 09:09

Normally I'm a furious "control your dog-er" but this chap sounds arrogant and like he was trying to impose himself on you.15ft away in a massive field? He's making a statement with those actions. Well, he got his comeuppance as your dog made him look silly.

(My old Weimaraner, upon seeing someone prone on the ground, would have humped him to death )

sunglassesonthetable · 03/10/2021 09:21

You don't own the field. It's not "intimidating" for him to come and exercise near you in a public field, it's not like he's stalking you at midnight down a dark alleyway.

Bit off though.

LakieLady · 03/10/2021 09:22

@girlmom21

To the "You should have control over your dog" brigade:

How do you expect people to train their dogs if they are never allowed to let them off the lead when people are nearby.

The dog was behaving well until this mans behaviour, in a close proximity, sparked his interest.

Now the OP knows a new trigger, she can work on that.

Well said. I've often thought this when I've read dog threads on here, but never said it for fear of being shot down in flames!

My dogs always took anyone lying on the ground as an invitation to play, or a source of concern, which is why they were never off lead in the vicinity of sunbathers. It was quite amusing when they discovered a couple shagging in some bushes a few feet from a public footpath though.

Who the fuck does press-ups in a field though? That's just weird.

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/10/2021 09:30

YABU. I appreciate you need to train your dog but you picked that area because it was quiet. Once it's stopped being quiet it was time to get the dog on the lead again.

PileOfBooks · 03/10/2021 09:34

Press ups in a field isnt weird. We see it a lot! Especially post covid lotsof people train outside. You see a mix of run/stop and do press ups/squats etc/run . As well as people meeting up to train. Often on beach /country parks/fields near us. Not me Im v unfit!

But I dont thinn that part is unusual!

PileOfBooks · 03/10/2021 09:34

Even precovid it wasn't uncommon. Lots of people prefer to train outside and v good for you etc.

MarshaBradyo · 03/10/2021 09:36

@PileOfBooks

But I dont thinn that part is unusual!

I agree. There’s so many people exercising outside these days, including push ups or training etc

And should be able to without dogs doing what op’s did

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