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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Puppy jumping on exercising man

320 replies

disculpe · 02/10/2021 16:26

Perfectly happy to be told I'm being U but I don't think I am. Took my 10 month old puppy (German shepherd) out for a walk this morning with my DS. As most puppies that age are, she is naturally cheeky and pushes the boundaries at times. She is pretty much always walked on a leash because most of the time it's too busy and if she sees another dog she will go mad and try to play as well as jump up on them, so we are careful to make sure she's not able to play with dogs who don't want to play, and so she doesn't knock children over in her excitement.
There is a field near us where we often take the dog on Sat and Sun mornings. It's always quiet on weekend mornings, not many dogs there, and we have been letting her off the lead to play ball there and teach her to come back to us without having to worry about other people or dogs. Was all going well this morning - she was fetching the ball nicely and when people walked past us along the path she completely ignored them and carried on being well behaved. Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play. I'm not defending her behavior, I would never want her doing that to anyone and completely understand that German shepherds are big and can look intimidating, and not everyone wants a dog in their face. He started screaming and shouting at me about how I should control my dog, I managed to get her back on her leash and then shouted back at him that of all the places he chose to exercise was within a few feet of me when there was a huge area with no dogs in it that he could have chosen instead. Got my dog back on the lead and walked home with my son. When I got home I realized just how intimidating his behavior was - what sort of person chooses to encroach on someone's space like that? Especially a strange man getting uncomfortably close to a lone woman and child. I know I could have put my dog on her leash and found another spot to play ball as soon as he turned up but the stubborn bitch in me was like "I was here first" and I assumed that as he'd chosen to be there he wasn't too concerned about my dog. I messaged my husband (he's working away) the second I got back and he said no decent man would get that close to an unknown woman in a field when there was ample space elsewhere because decent men don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. So, AIBU for getting angry with him and for not putting my dog on a leash the second he pitched up next to us or was he BU?

OP posts:
Whoopy1 · 02/10/2021 18:48

@disculpe
“Then a man on a bike stopped about 15 feet from us. He could clearly see us as he kept looking over. Then he started exercising, even though this field is huge and he could have exercised literally anywhere else, a lot further away from a woman, young child and unpredictable puppy. My dog ignored him, carried on playing fetch so I didn't put her on her leash because she was behaving. After about 10 minutes this man started doing push ups and something about that movement excited my dog and she ran over to him, putting her face in his and running around him trying to play.”

So you stood 15 feet away from him for over 10 minutes? Why on earth didn’t you move away from him, especially as you say the field is huge?? Yes, I know you were there first, but it is your responsibility to ensure that your dog does not bother other people. The obvious thing to do would have been to move away from him, while you were playing and throwing the ball for your dog! Very strange!

FlyingWhistle · 02/10/2021 18:58

He was rude but you set your dog up to fail, you should have moved away.

As an aside I can't do yoga with my dogs around as they think it's their cue to lick me 🙃

Yummymummy2020 · 02/10/2021 19:04

I understand the annoyance for him to appear and start exercising in close proximity, I wouldn’t choose to do that myself as I do think it’s a bit intrusive if as you say there was a huge suitable space and he decided to go right beside you, but the bottom line is really that you should have control over your dog at all times if other people are around even if it is a pain that they are right beside you unnecessarily.

HalzTangz · 02/10/2021 19:19

He has every right to exercise anywhere he likes in the park. Your dog is boisterous and by your own admittance kept on a lead because it jumps on dogs and could knock kids over.
As soon as people turned up you should have put your dog back on the lead, and certainly shouldn't have let it get in someone's face or circle that person

Thatsplentyjack · 02/10/2021 19:23

@TheWholeWorld

Yanbu OP.

He wouldn't have picked that spot if it was your DH trying to train your puppy. I would bet all the money in my bank on that. A certain type of man likes to pick arguments with/intimidate women.

Exactly! And I would bet my house that a wan wouldn't come up and start exercising 10 feet from someone in an empty field.
MissMaple82 · 02/10/2021 19:23

The guy was a total dick

tranquillitybase · 02/10/2021 19:23

He was a nob, he could've chosen anywhere at all to do his exercises. I'm a dog lover and even I wouldn't choose to start doing press ups near where someone was playing with a puppy, it would obviously want to join in!

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 02/10/2021 19:26

YABU. Your dog wasn't under control. This is almost the opposite POV of the thread about the jogger keeping on running whilst some unleashed dogs followed her.

ChamberofSecrets69 · 02/10/2021 19:28

I don't think for second that yabu at all! Of course he shouldn't have came so close to you when there was so much space. He was being awkward for the sake of being awkward! You were there first and you have as much right to play there with your dog, as he does to exercise.

You need to be able to train your dog off the lead, he should have respected boundaries.

HalzTangz · 02/10/2021 19:29

@girlmom21

To the "You should have control over your dog" brigade:

How do you expect people to train their dogs if they are never allowed to let them off the lead when people are nearby.

The dog was behaving well until this mans behaviour, in a close proximity, sparked his interest.

Now the OP knows a new trigger, she can work on that.

You be responsible and practice recall in a confined private space (garden, hired dog field etc)
ChamberofSecrets69 · 02/10/2021 19:30

@HalzTangz

He has every right to exercise anywhere he likes in the park. Your dog is boisterous and by your own admittance kept on a lead because it jumps on dogs and could knock kids over. As soon as people turned up you should have put your dog back on the lead, and certainly shouldn't have let it get in someone's face or circle that person
He has every right, but does that mean he should? Absolutely not! This is such an entitled opinion 🙄
ChamberofSecrets69 · 02/10/2021 19:31

Jesus Christ.....🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

BoredZelda · 02/10/2021 19:33

It almost sounds OP as if he deliberately chose a spot near you and your dog.

It certainly sounds like that’s what the OP wants us to conclude.

BoredZelda · 02/10/2021 19:34

The dog was behaving well until this mans behaviour, in a close proximity, sparked his interest.

He was asking for it?

MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 19:36

@BoredZelda

The dog was behaving well until this mans behaviour, in a close proximity, sparked his interest.

He was asking for it?

Some of these views are very off. I’d not like to think I have to consider all dogs in a park with many when I run.
BoredZelda · 02/10/2021 19:37

I’m a dog lover and even I wouldn't choose to start doing press ups near where someone was playing with a puppy, it would obviously want to join in!

Firstly, not everyone would know a puppy would do that. Secondly, a German shepherd at 10 months is only a couple of inches off being fully grown. The vast majority of people would not assume that was a puppy.

BoredZelda · 02/10/2021 19:39

Some of these views are very off. I’d not like to think I have to consider all dogs in a park with many when I run.

Oh you’d be ok. Assuming you are a woman you can guarantee this wouldn’t have been your fault if you were the person exercising. Especially if the owner was a man.

MarshaBradyo · 02/10/2021 19:42

@BoredZelda

Some of these views are very off. I’d not like to think I have to consider all dogs in a park with many when I run.

Oh you’d be ok. Assuming you are a woman you can guarantee this wouldn’t have been your fault if you were the person exercising. Especially if the owner was a man.

Probably true.

But all this stuff about audience etc I don’t get most people are just habitual and concentrating when exercising, I just can’t imagine how annoying it would be to have a dog get so close when doing push ups in the middle of a workout.

Esp the pp who said she ran then stopped to do them, it’s full on as it is.

Leibham · 02/10/2021 19:43

I feel your pain, the pups can be doing brilliantly and make you feel secure then do something like this.

lynntheyresexpeople · 02/10/2021 19:43

@Hardbackwriter

It’s also really crass you’ve mentioned several times about “current climate” and “women being murdered” to try and score sympathy points. You admit you weren’t intimidated in the slightest and mouthed off at him.

I agree - I also think it's in really poor taste

I also completely agree. You're using this to justify why you are not in the wrong, and it's incredibly poor taste. A man 15 foot from you, ignoring you and exercising in a public place, doesn't belong anywhere near the conversation of women's safety in regard to recent events. Accept you need to have better recall with your dog before she can be off lead around members of the public.
KaptainKaveman · 02/10/2021 19:48

You are being utterly unreasonable and stupid, OP. Control your bloody dog FFS. How dare you blame this on that man?

FateHasRedesignedMost · 02/10/2021 19:54

YABU, your puppy should be on a lead in public spaces until she’s learnt not to jump on people! What if a family sat down for a picnic, or a child was running about with a ball or frisbee. What if a dog-reactive dog on a lead excited her and she jumped on the dog?

I have a large breed and am fully aware how intimidating they can look. It’s your responsibility to keep her on a lead until she’s trained. You can hire private land cheaply by the hour (eg a secure barn or paddock) if you don’t have a big enough garden.

I’d be mortified if my dog jumped on someone exercising!

RantyAunty · 02/10/2021 20:02

YABVU

Enroll your dog in proper puppy training classes.

Jangle33 · 02/10/2021 20:09

Of course YABU. Your dog shouldn’t be off the lead in those circumstances. Why do people think the world revolves around their dog, especially a German Shepherd. You need to rethink your attitude.

CurlyMango · 02/10/2021 20:10

You are being very unreasonable, control your animal.

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