Dp and I recently married and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. We've always had separate finances but contributed equally to household bills. He earns roughly 3 x more than me.
He has been complaining lately about spending too much money bills being too high etc. I rarely spend his money on anything other than food shopping. Anything personal or for my ds comes from my money. But due to the massive wage difference he does have more disposable income than me and usually pays for holidays, meals, days out and so on.
I struggle a lot and he has literally sat and totted up his latest credit card statement in front of me and had a go at me for spending what added up to about £50 on a few Amazon purchases on his account (I ordered on his because he has prime and free delivery). Neglecting the fact that he pays double that monthly on things he wants like a wine subscription, car insurance for a fancy second car he never uses and takeaways he wants.
I am so fucking fed up with being skint. Surely marriage is about being a team. How is it going to work when we have a baby that will need stuff when I'm being made to feel awful for spending a tiny amount. I was in tears so frustrated and he didn't care, I've come to bed without eating as I'm so pissed off and he's not bothered. This doesn't feel like a partnership. Overall he is generous but every now and then he will have these moments where I just think wow you are so mean with money and I was actually better off financially alone.
I don't want to feel like im in his debt. But I contribute where I can along with doing housework and shopping and will be raising his fucking child when it's born. Should finances between married couples not be a little fairer?