To attend surprise party for unvaccinated person?

[postingfortraffichere]

So, i don't know what to do.

It's my mums 65th birthday - she isn't vaccinated. I just found out she is having a surprise birthday planned by someone else - which just dawned on me sounds like a terrible idea.

This isn't about me, I don't care about my risk I'm double vaccinated and have antibodies from having Covid so I'm happy to attend, but I'm not sure putting my mother in that position unvaccinated as a 'surprise' or even fair given she has been avoiding going out for two years.

She not vaccinated out of choice, so yes she's being stubborn but wwyd - try call it off or tell her that 30+ people are attending?

I'm confused about what to do, I'm just worried for her particularly putting her in that position without her consent.

AIBU to try call it off or reduce numbers? Or tell her the situation and spoil the surprise?

@PikachuAndMe

Nevermind your mother, she is an adult and taking her own risks. If you are so worried why are you not avoiding this party and minimising your exposure?

I'm no worried! If you're to comment at least read the original post not just the title

Out of interest
How do you know if you have antibodies? Is here a test you can take?

@Noogar

Her vaccine status is irrelevant here in my opinion. Vaccinated or unvaccinated it is cruel for 30 people to all decend on her unannounced when she has deliberately reduced her social contact through the pandemic. It could make her very distressed.

Totally agree.

The vaccine part isn't relevant. What is relevant is the fact she has chosen to reduce social contacts but someone else has decided to override that.

Personally, I would tell her and give her the option to say no. A surprise party in this case is just not on, it puts huge pressure on to pretend to be thrilled, when maybe she might not be

@Reallyimeanreally2022

Out of interest How do you know if you have antibodies? Is here a test you can take?

I've had Covid and I'm double jabbed

Ah.

I’m double jabbed and I’ve had covid but you absolutely can not be sure you have antibodies on the basis of that.

@KT727

loobylou10
Vaccine refuses made their choice as far as I'm concerned.
Choices have consequences 
The problem with this idea is that it's the OP's mother who's potentially at risk here. Yes, she made her choice but the potential consequences would affect other people too obviously if she ended up seriously unwell.

Yes - good point actually.

i'm not deciding my social life based on anyone's vaccination status for anything. I can't believe the madness people have reached on this idea.

@lljkk

i'm not deciding my social life based on anyone's vaccination status for anything. I can't believe the madness people have reached on this idea.

That's not really what thus threads about though, is it?

It's about the planner of a surprise party making a decision about someone else's level of exposure. Am unvaccinated person who has chosen to continue to SD

@lljkk

i'm not deciding my social life based on anyone's vaccination status for anything. I can't believe the madness people have reached on this idea.

I would normally fully agree with you. But in this case the unvaccinated person has continued to limit their social contact. It's not fair for someone else to decide what social contact the op's mum should have by organising a surprise party.

What happened in the end @postingfortraffichere how many attended and did you let your Mum know in advance who was going? Happy bday to her by the way.

@RumblyMumbly thank you! It turned out to be approx 15 people and most people did keep their distance it was surprisingly fine and she did enjoy it! Thank you for asking, turns out someone had put the feelers out about a gathering and she was ok with it so I decided not to mention in the end!

@RumblyMumbly and so far no one has any Covid symptoms so fingers crossed!

Glad she enjoyed it and there were no family ructions over it.

[quote postingfortraffichere]@RumblyMumbly thank you! It turned out to be approx 15 people and most people did keep their distance it was surprisingly fine and she did enjoy it! Thank you for asking, turns out someone had put the feelers out about a gathering and she was ok with it so I decided not to mention in the end! [/quote]
Ah good! Glad it went ok

15 is the magic number? I am glad your mother enjoyed her party, but really you can't say it's gone well for another couple of weeks. It doesn't matter if people keep their distance, in a restaurant. Good luck.