To say that you are not a true Christian

[MiaMarshmallows]

If you do not want to help someone who you claim is important to you? When you know they are struggling emotionally and with health issues?
I know someone like this and it surely goes against all their values?

It's between them and their god, not for you to judge their Christian status.

I helped a friend that I met through a church toddler group who was ill and in an abusive relationship for months and months. I picked up her children from school every day for weeks, bought her groceries, helped her move into a shelter at great personal risk to myself then got stalked by her husband to find out where she was. Then, I got a stomach bug from her son and she said I was selfish for not picking them up from school and told me I should pay for a taxi for them. I did, and then I spoke to my vicar about how guilty I felt that I couldn't help any more. He told me absolutely that I had done enough for her. She then went on to badmouth me and our church and has gone on to three other churches and done the same thing to several other people. We need more info to decid whether YABU.

I've seen it from both sides working in the past for a Christian organisation (although I am secular).

I saw quite regularly people having this thrown at them as a weapon because they were expected to break themselves emotionally and physically to help someone who expected the world and wasn't prepared to do anything to help themselves. When they rightly held reasonable boundaries they were accused of being fake Christians.

I also met many people who used Christianity as a weapon to bully and manipulate others and hide behind the fact they were religious.

A person's religion is not an automatic control button. They should not be expected to pander to everyone's whims nor should they use this as a battering ram. They aren't magic.

Most christians I have met are happy to judge me though- I am reminded that I am "not perfect", a sinner, in fact born into sin, that I will be going to hell.
In fact the bible clearly says that because I am a witch I should be murdered.

Yes, you can.

You can be a Christian and still have boundaries.

You're not a 'true' Christian through your actions but if you believe Jesus died to save you, so you can't save yourself but rely on what God has done. However someone who truly believes this should be actively trying to be more like Jesus in the way they treat others. We all make mistakes though and every Christian would say they were a sinner, also it's not clear what this person has done without the whole story.

It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Yet I know a lot of Christians who have affluent lifestyles. They may be nice people who help others. But I don't think they are truly following Christ's teaching, which said to give everything to the poor.

Christians are very good at justifying themselves when they don't follow the rules (and at making up extra rules too). Look at the disproportionate emphasis on homosexuality and sexual sin. Barely mentioned by the new testament. Yet greed, lying, gossiping are all fine for Christians

Being Christian doesn't mean being a saint

It is the nature of all Christians to be selfish. Everything they do is with the purely self serving hope of getting into heaven.

@user1495884211

Just because someone is Christian doesn't mean that they have infinite resources, either physical or mental, to give.

This.

Although when I was struggling the elders at the church were very quick to say ‘we will pray for you’ rather then come and take my newborn for an hour so I could sleep. I’m a Christian but if I help everyone there would be nothing left for me. Likewise I don’t agree with the tithe- the tithe was when we had no nhs, no charities with huge bosses ranking in millions - I used to give regularly what ever I could to a certain charity but my eyes were opened when my friend went to work for them - she is pa to the chief executive even she gets a company car all paid for, all expenses, works 9-3, earns a big salary and multiple perks - her boss works even less and had numerous others working for him - she says it is the best job ever. They get money that comes from donations and some government funding (again raised from tax) she’s lost her faith as she went to work for them because the job was mooted to her through her church and she says the last 5 years have shown her how troughs really work.

As for Christians are good people, remember the Salem witches trials or crusades ?

@ Balonzette"You can't bully Christians with your perception of what it means to be a Christian just so they'll do literally anything you say."

Perfectly put 👍

@OppsUpsSide

You can be a shitty person and still be a Christian. A Christian is a person who follows Christ.

Hands up I am no theologian, but surely if you ‘follow’ the guy who hung out with ‘the less desirable or less valued people in society’ you wouldn’t be a shit? Otherwise it’s like being a football fan and just name checking a team but never actually knowing who plays/when/where etc?

If you just mean someone who goes to church to show they are better than people who don’t then yes they are often shits but i wouldn’t call them Christians, I would call them self-serving social try-hards.

Where do you live that people think church-goers are "better than others"? When people find out that I go to church they tend to sneer at my ignorance/gullibility

If you were skint and they were loaded whether they help you or not doesn’t mean anything about “how good a Christian” they are.

I disagree. "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God" says the bible. I'm not saying the rich man has to give to the specific skint man .... but the bible is surely saying they have to give away their riches in order to be considered Christian.

@speakout

Most christians I have met are happy to judge me though- I am reminded that I am "not perfect", a sinner, in fact born into sin, that I will be going to hell. In fact the bible clearly says that because I am a witch I should be murdered.

mobile.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/There-Are-No-Witches-In-The-Bible-198322

This is a good article regarding witches and the Bible.
Jesus never once mentioned them.
It's the Old Testament writers that have a problem with witches, astrologers, psychics, etc and the rather potty King James was very paranoid about witches.

When the church went full force on murdering alleged witches during the burning times, a number of priests died in defence on the alleged witches.

Basically, those who call themselves Christians come in many forms.

@MiaMarshmallows

If you do not want to help someone who you claim is important to you? When you know they are struggling emotionally and with health issues? I know someone like this and it surely goes against all their values?

YABU because you haven't explained yourself at all so nobody has a clue what you are talking about.

He also says our faith will prompt action. You go down a dangerous (and heretical) road that says the more I sin (as a Christian), the more God's grace can be evident!

Well, lots of Calvinists believe in double predestination of the 'elect' and think they are Christians.

Guess the OP isn’t returning?

Clickbait OP.

Christians are flawed human beings like the rest of us.

The op reads as though it's really saying 'someone won't do what I want and expect from them. So they can't be christian'. Kind of, doesn't it?

Sometimes it's the kind thing NOT to help. Helping excessively can create a rescuer-victim co-dependency. Maybe they in not helping you they're helping someone else? Too little information. But quite a goody post too. Noone owes you help.

goady

You are not the gatekeeper of a religion. That said, some Christians would say absolutely that you're not a Christian unless you follow and believe all the doctrines of Christianity.

For example, I once suggested to a missionary that a fair God wouldn't discriminate against those of different religions as long as they lived a moral life- it wouldn't be fair; if you're brought up in a nation with a different dominant religion, it's hardly fair to say that you don't get to go to heaven if you've lived an otherwise good life, just because you've not been involved in a specific religion. At the time I considered myself a Christian, and he told me that a Satanist might also call themselves a Christian, but it wouldn't be true!

YABU (probably). Being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to embody Mother Theresa.

It depends upon the circs eg dropping your elderly relative who lives next door and can’t manage without you seems unChristian. Dropping (or not helping) a toxic friend who is horrible to you is just common sense (of course not talking about you OP, that’s just an example!)

@user1495884211

Just because someone is Christian doesn't mean that they have infinite resources, either physical or mental, to give.

Absolutely!