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Original poster

To say that you are not a true Christian

194 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 30/09/2021 22:32

If you do not want to help someone who you claim is important to you? When you know they are struggling emotionally and with health issues?
I know someone like this and it surely goes against all their values?

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 01/10/2021 02:26

You sound like you want something from them.

TillyDevon · 01/10/2021 02:37

I would look too at whether your expectations consider your friend at all who may have stresses of their own at the moment. Or be unable to give what you expect for a very fair reason.
Sometimes love is very different from say wanting help someone else out financially (eg if you didn’t also get a job and try to help your own situation ). I would certainly expect emotional support whatever though and it is hard to know without more details

Mothership4two · 01/10/2021 02:51

I know a lot of very selfish Christians

1forAll74 · 01/10/2021 03:33

I have known quite a few church going and alleged Christians, who have been the most diabolical people you could ever meet, and they were in their own worlds, and would never be kind, and help anyone in need.

MacMahon · 01/10/2021 03:47

This is a bit Vague Book.

Hydrate · 01/10/2021 03:48

Religion has very little to do with whether somebody is cold hearted.

MeanWeedratStew · 01/10/2021 04:04

Whether or not a person is a "true Christian" is between that person and God. It's not something you get to decide based on whether they're doing what you want.

Also, a person being a Christian does not mean that they owe you the help you want. As PPs have said, nobody has infinite resources to help others, even if they want to.

I'm not a Christian, btw. I just think that what you're saying is no better than "If you loved me you'd do it."

Pixxie7 · 01/10/2021 04:06

Being a Christian doesn’t men you can cope with everything that’s thrown at you, first and foremost we are all human. It always worries me when people profess to be Christians. It should show in your actions and judgment is not a good look IMO.

SinoohXaenaHide · 01/10/2021 04:11

You don't get to decide who is and who isn't a Christian. Christians aren't a special kind of saintly person with additional powers that non Christians don't have, and Christians are just as liable to be too overwhelmed with dealing wity their own issues, or too burned out from previously taking on too much, to always be able to do what is asked of them. Sometimes people have to say "no" when asked to take on a load that is too much for them. Being nasty and judgy about that and deciding it is evidence for their faith being flawed is a really nasty response to that. Don't be judgemental.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 01/10/2021 04:23

I think a true Christian understands that there is often more to a situation than meets the eye, and people may well have their own good reasons for acting as they do.

Justilou1 · 01/10/2021 04:30

I live in Australia and this perfectly describes our Pentecostal Prime Minister. Wouldn’t pick up a hose when the country was on fire. Wouldn’t return from holidays. Sold our vaccines. Refuses to accept that his male buddies are capable of sexually assaulting vulnerable young women IN PARLIAMENT HOUSE so refuses to read the reports and denies they exist, etc. Refuses to open inquests into reports against the Attorney General for the same - because he’s a “Great Bloke” so must be innocent. Has links to Q-Anon and was known to hang with the orange American…. Has used lockdown unilaterally change legislation to ensure that 90% of people who lost their jobs due to Covid in Australia were women. I could go on for months with this list.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/10/2021 04:36

I'd need to know the other side of it before making a judgement.

I have a friend who is fabulous, really kind, caring and supportive to everyone. She's also a Christian. We have a mutual acquaintance, let's call her Beth, who has some Mental Health issues. My friend has been really supportive to Beth but there are times when Beth is completely draining eg ringing my friend 20+ times a day, even when she knows my friend is at work. So sometimes my friend isn't able to respond. Then Beth takes to social media, slagging my friend off with lengthy posts about "so called Christians who couldn't give a shit about other people".

Sometimes people, however supportive and caring, have to walk away in order to protect themselves. Even Christians.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/10/2021 04:53

SOME Christians are the most sanctimonious and unhelpful people I've ever met. Stern, unwavering, and very much more "Old Testament" than New Testament in their outlook.
MORE of them are much nicer and will help most people but in all honesty, I've rarely met ones who go all out to help anyone and everyone who needs it.
I don't consider myself to be a true Christian, although I was brought up as one - but I'll try to help people when I'm able to.

As far as helping someone struggling though - it rather depends on what help is needed and why, and whether the person needing it will take the help as a temporary relief for their current situation, or whether they will have expectations of it continuing, thus allowing them to abdicate responsibility themselves.

More detail would be required before a proper answer can be given.

onelittlefrog · 01/10/2021 04:54

If Christians only ever did good things then we could have been saved a lot of wars and death

Nightbringer · 01/10/2021 05:09

The op reads as though it's really saying 'someone won't do what I want and expect from them. So they can't be christian'.

Christians aren't obliged to help every person out in every situation.

Christians are like all people, some good some bad most somewhere in between. But their religion doesn't obligate them to you

MultiStorey · 01/10/2021 05:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Suitcaseseverywhere · 01/10/2021 05:40

Recently Christians are entitled to their boundaries.

Suitcaseseverywhere · 01/10/2021 05:40

*even

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 01/10/2021 06:06

@user1495884211

Just because someone is Christian doesn't mean that they have infinite resources, either physical or mental, to give.
i agree with this. My Mum is a devote Christian. She is one of the most lovely, giving people I know. She has also been shat on from a great height by many who have taken advantage of her.
hopefulmama36 · 01/10/2021 06:07

Just because someone is a Christian or indeed any faith doesn't mean that they should always be there for you every time you need them or want them to be. Having a faith Christian or not doesn't mean that you should automatically put everyone ahead of yourself.

I'm Christian not a perfect one but that's why God gave us grace. I always try my best to help someone. I will go out of my way to help people, drop of meals, give car rides, babysit friends kids. But does being a Christian mean that I should drop everything and help people at the detriment of safety or my family? No I don't think it does.

balloonsintrees · 01/10/2021 06:10

Massive lack of theological understanding there OP - Paul is all about justification by faith and bugger the good works bit....

MerryMarigold · 01/10/2021 06:14

I was in a similar situation with a friend (we're both Christians). She took the 'help' way too far to a point where I felt like I was enabling and stopped. It wasn't helping her in the end. She moved away, cut me off and I'm sure I'm getting similar conversations about me! I feel I have a good conscience. She got in touch with me out of the blue for more help at one point and I said we needed to talk through some stuff which had happened first, just talk about it. She didn't get in touch again.

speakout · 01/10/2021 06:15

I know many nasty people who are "true" christians.

After all the bible condones slavery, homophobia, racism, misogyny.

MerryMarigold · 01/10/2021 06:16

@balloonsintrees

Massive lack of theological understanding there OP - Paul is all about justification by faith and bugger the good works bit....
He also says our faith will prompt action. You go down a dangerous (and heretical) road that says the more I sin (as a Christian), the more God's grace can be evident!
Ethelswith · 01/10/2021 06:18

It's not really up to us to judge - New Testament is pretty clear about that.