To say that you are not a true Christian

[MiaMarshmallows]

If you do not want to help someone who you claim is important to you? When you know they are struggling emotionally and with health issues?
I know someone like this and it surely goes against all their values?

A very wise former church minister once said to me 'just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we're mugs'

People can only ever given in line with their resources and what they give to you they can't give to others. If you expect a blank cheque just because they're a Christian then its you who is unreasonable.

@ElectricDeChocobo

You can be a shitty person and still be a Christian. A Christian is a person who follows Christ.

Wrong. You can be a shitty person and call yourself a Christian, but a true Christian follows the teachings of Christ. I can call myself a Beaver, but that doesn't mean I can swim underwater and build a dam. Some people only "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk" . Matthew 7:21 - Not everyone who calls me Lord will I recognize.

A true Christian will be the first to tell you that they're not perfect. Even someone who truly believes and tries their best is fallible.

And as PP have said, one can only do so much, regardless of one's religious beliefs. More specifics are needed here, tbh.

I think as a Christian you should try and help where you can. I try my best to remember what would Jesus do in different circumstances. I’m far from perfect but would help a friend in need.

In setting up boundaries as a Christian my mum always reminds me, Our Lord healed, and he moved on.

There is only so much of me to go round.
Sometimes I have to make a choice to help one person or another.
Sometimes if I help one person, it will be at the expense of my own child.
I have to put him first.

Sometimes I'm just really tired & I don't have it in me to help anyone else just then because I'm only a human being & I am not perfect.

Sometimes I'm struggling because I just found out that I will never see my father again & that he is now dying of something that wouldn't have killed him so soon if his tests hadn't been cancelled because of Covid.

Sometimes I could do with a little help even though it's normally me doling it out to other people.

Not having the ability to help everyone who wants me to when they want me to does not make me any less of a Christian.

Sometimes the best help to someone is not to help them in the way they want.
This.
I'm sure my DD thinks helping her would be to do her maths practice for her.

YABU and ridiculous. It sounds as if you’re not getting the help you want. Context is everything so you might be better off explaining.

Who is this person to you and what exactly are you asking of them?

Christianity would appear to be a bit of a red herring, tbh.

I can't really answer with no information. What kind of help? Is it that they can't help or won't help?
Christians have to have boundaries too. In my experience (as a Christian) a lot of us are terrible at setting boundaries and saying no to people precisely because "as Christians we should help"

Wrong. You can be a shitty person and call yourself a Christian, but a true Christian follows the teachings of Christ.
I can call myself a Beaver, but that doesn't mean I can swim underwater and build a dam.
Some people only "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk" .
Matthew 7:21 - Not everyone who calls me Lord will I recognize.

According to the Cambridge dictionary, a Christian is:
^of or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ:
a Christian charity/organization
the Christian faith^

Plenty of hard-core extremist homophobic misogynistic types might regard those who don't share their views as not really Christian, just as a someone more Liberal might regard them as not really Christian. But they all believe in Christ, even if their interpretation of Christian teachings is different. Claiming that bad people can't be Christian reeks of no true Scotsman.

You feel this person is a hypocrite. Possibly they are; more details are needed.

Christians are often deemed to be 'hypocrites' where they have actual boundaries.

Loads of Christians display totally unchristian behaviour.

Without knowing the context of the refusal, I think it would be unreasonable to go along with such a statement.

There have been many threads on Mumsnet where so-called friends have taken advantage of generous and kindly people over and over again - and sometimes, when they are finally refused assistance, they label it as "selfish" or "uncaring". That's why context matters.

I dislike religion and agree that some religious people are ghastly, but I also know at least four or five fairly devout people who are very easy going and who go out of their way to help when it is needed. And I know several agnostics/atheists who are pretty judgmental and uncharitable.

Oh dear so someone didn’t help you in the way you think they should have.

We had an alternative grace/blessing we would say before meals growing up. It was meant in jest and used when we wanted to get on with things…but always stuck with me. “God helps those who help themselves …yaa God”

@OppsUpsSide

You can be a shitty person and still be a Christian. A Christian is a person who follows Christ.

Hands up I am no theologian, but surely if you ‘follow’ the guy who hung out with ‘the less desirable or less valued people in society’ you wouldn’t be a shit? Otherwise it’s like being a football fan and just name checking a team but never actually knowing who plays/when/where etc?

If you just mean someone who goes to church to show they are better than people who don’t then yes they are often shits but i wouldn’t call them Christians, I would call them self-serving social try-hards.

I hope being a Christian makes me a bit less of a shit than I'd be otherwise. If it does, then it's worthwhile.

@Chloemol

In my opinion those who think they are true Christians are narrow minded, self serving, and unkind. They think nothing of stabbing you in the back, being big bitches and generally nasty and think nothing of being homophobic and xenophobic.

I have not met one person yet, claiming to be a true Christian, who isn’t like this, they are the most intolerant group of people out

Should I share this with my openly gay church supporting neighbors/adopted Dads who just celebrated their 47th anniversary?

Weirdly they were married in a church, supported by a different church…

Strangely one of them worked in the first AIDS hospice in the ‘80s in my metropolitan city which was set up and funded by the Catholic Archdiocese.

So you know what…. Please reflect on your intolerance and maybe learn more about the world around you before spouting hate and nonsense.

I hate posts like this. They're so discrimatory.

I am a Christian. If someone asks me for help, then I will help. I will do everything I can to help.

But sometimes someone asks for something that I can't do for moral reasons, or practical reasons, or personal reasons.

For example, someone asked me to do something for them (some paid work, actually) which they desperately needed done, and they were really needing my help. But to give her the time to do the work (a regular commitment) I'd have to disappoint my child and break a promise I'd made to them. So I had to let her down. Things like this happen to Christians too, of course.

Also, sometimes Christians, too, need to walk away from relationships that are toxic or damaging to their relationship with God.

Lastly, I won't help someone if the help I am giving them is harmful in some way to either them or someone else.

I will help whenever it is possible, but, like with anyone else, there are sometimes things standing in the way or other issues to consider.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time - I assume it's you who needs help? But your post is quite inappropriate. Our religion is not a weapon for you to manipulate whenever things aren't going your way. You can't bully Christians with your perception of what it means to be a Christian just so they'll do literally anything you say.

@Theoldprospector

In setting up boundaries as a Christian my mum always reminds me, Our Lord healed, and he moved on.

I also love this!

Seriously!

The fact you seem to be ready to emotionally blackmail someone using their professed religious views is VVU.

Only God knows what it is in out hearts, which is why only He can judge. If help is available, accept it graciously, but also accept that those around you are not bottomless wells of giving for your benefit.