to think that the school nurse shouldn't have sent me this letter...

[emkana]

which has a programme in it how to deal with dd2's "bedwetting" WTF? She doesn't do "bedwetting", she's only 4.4 and still in pull-ups, which I thought was widely accepted as quite normal?

Erm, no not lazy. Obviously you're mothers bedwetting was effected by the abuse at home, I don't think this is the case for the op.

I somewhat disagree with the never having a dry pull up theory. So far three of my night trained children became dry this way.
They just stopped wetting nappies.
Obviously they had the odd accident.
With one of them she had to go back to pull ups for a while and then when dry again we took her out of them.
I have found that continuing to let a child wet the wet accidentally causes them a lot of distress.
My 6 year old dd asks to go back into pull ups from time to time and she also asks to have nothing when she feels confident.
All children are different.
It is worth trying lots of different methods until you find one that suits both you and your child.
( I was KrIsTTYmas )

I know of someone who wet the bed until she had her first child. As she said imagine telling your husband that you still wet the bed, how embarrassing is that. Then she got pregnant and overnight it stopped happening never to return.

"I think you just need to ditch the pull ups. They are sodden because he is used to having them on all night.
If I were you I would get a plastic sheet, no drinks before bedtime, toilet before bed, and take him to the toilet hourly before you go to sleep."

wouldn't that be lovely if it worked for every child - over 1yr of doing that and DS1 would still be sodden come the morning - AND he sleeps through it all - doesn't even wake up if he wets!

And - DS2 (who was dry without any effort from us) actually had dry nappies for about 1 week before announcing that he hated wearing them and refused to have one on (we were reluctant to let him - purely because his older brother was still wet)

Someone mentioned PJ pants - not only are they very expensive, but they don't hold much - so if you've got a DC like mine you end up spending a fortune, and still washing the entire bedding every day!

But my friend's child wet the bed until he was 5.5 - she was lifting him three times a night at one point, and she did this for 6 months! He saturated the bed every night - and she washed those sheets every day, and set her alarm for the middle of the night.

It just Did Not Work. Was she lazy?

No she wasn't, because she tried. Some parents won't even try.

I am not suggesting it would work for every child, just giving some advice and my opinion.

sorry Manchita - I just saw that you "agree" with moondog....and presumed that you thought there was no reason for any child to be wetting the bed at 7yrs old......unless they had lazy parents..

i think bedwetting at 4, 5 and 6 is normal for a lot of children. god knows why they think it isn't.

No, I mentioned laziness in reference to a friend of mine who really didn't even try because she didn't want wet sheets and pyjamas.

By moondog on Thu 06-Dec-07 22:00:49
"Wee last thing at night.
Wake up for a wee at midnight.
No pull-ups.
Towel over sheet in the bed and plastic under it.
Expalin what you are doing.
Leave it at that.
The child will learn in a few days."
We tried all that with 2 of our children. It didn't work. Not even after months. In the end they stopped bedwetting of their own volition. Aged 5+years and 9+years.
You can encourage and help in various ways but I really believe that they will stop when they are ready and not before no matter what you do.

well I potty trained DS1 relatively late (just before his 3rd birthday) - but he still wasn't really ready and I wish I'd waited a little longer as the result was that I was changing pants 7/8 (or more!) times a day for over a month!.......and he never told me if he was wet - he'd just keep playing in soaking clothes . Which made my life doubly difficult as not only was I having to encourage him to use the potty, but I had to continuously check for wet clothes too.

ds1 was like that until he was about 3.3, Icequeen.

Yet I know one woman who has managed to train her 20 month old!!!!!! Tiny little totty thing, barely walking, is nevertheless reliably trained!

FT - my SIL's DD2 was dry day and night at 21 months - completely of her own accord - SIL was shocked to say the least (and I was suitably jealous LOL).

DD will be 6 in Feb and still wets at night I have been to GP and ruled out uti, HV suggests a talk to the school nurse. How do I contact her?

I don't understand why not wanting to change sheets everyday makes someone lazy. it doesn't does it? You can't make a reliable judgment about someone's enthusiam and diligence as a parent by their willingless to change sheets!!!

How on earth can anyone make such sweeping statements about children with SN? (Or NT children for that matter). I have 2 boys who, despite having the same diagnosis and presumably a fair number of genes in common, are very different to each other. It's impossible to generalise.

Blaming parents for loss of skills is also shockingly ignorant of the reasons for regression. I'm fortunate to have only had knowledgable and understanding professionals working with my children. Reading some of the posts on MN has made me realise that not everyone is so lucky.

One of mine was dry day and night just before her second birthday. No training involved, she just became dry.

sorry moondog have to disagree with your training theory, my dd is almost 7 and she wets the bed everynight. we have tried absolutly everything to get her dry by ourselves and then with the help of the enurisis (sp?) clinic and none of it has worked. we did trying lifting her onto toilet but that failed as well and is not advised by the clinic. she has now been given hormone treatment which unfortunatly does not seem to be working either. so unfortunatly for some children there is nothing you can do about it. she doesnt wear nappies at night but we are going to give the tablets a bit longer before we put her back into them.

if your worried about your child wetting the bed then contact your school nurse or health visitor. they normally dont do anything till there 5 as it is perfectly normal and in some places till there 7.

As I said in an earlier post, one of my children was over 9 before being dry and even then wasn't 100% reliable for around another 18m. Perfectly okay after that. So, I would even say don't panic if not dry at age 7.

mistletoe - have you tried contacting your hv, gp or schol nurse? they do advise you to take dd out of nappies and see if it works but if it doesnt then id get some extra help. tori has given some good advise on here (its the same as i was given at the enurisis clinic) keep doing that, try with no pull ups and then get in touch with some one.
and remember its not yours or your childs fault that they bed wet, in the case of the child not producing enough hormone then that is a developmental thing and will come in its own time unless you take hormone treatment (which has no guarentees to work).

hope ive made sense, have major case of preg brain at the minute and can barley get a sentence out verbaly never mind type and spell.

Ridiculous to think that a 4yo that wets the bed is a problem or concern. It is actually still rather common for children of this age to wet the bed.

DD is 5.5yo and still occasionally wets the bed. If se drinks anything except water after about 3 o'clock it is more likely to occur. Also if she has a nightmare or night terror this also can trigger it. She is not lazy, she is not in pull ups (have a bed mat just in case), she would desperately love to be dry every night (she was dry in the day age 24 months). She simply cannot control this no matter how hard she wants it. It is improving with time and less frequnet, but she still wets at times.

I have looked at the suggestions moondog has put on here:

Wee last thing at night - we do this
Wake up for a wee at midnight - we do this (well at 1-:30-11 when we go to bed)
No pull-ups - we do this
Towel over sheet in the bed and plastic under it - we do this (well we have a bed mat which works the same)
Expalin what you are doing - we did this
Leave it at that - we did this
The child will learn in a few days - well it is now nearly two years on and still has accidents about 1 a week

Most GP/HV aren't interested until child is 7 IME. They talk about some hormone development which can kic in naturally between the ages of 18 months and 7 years. Although for DD I think there is some relationship with non-water drinks (and I mean anything else bar water) and the wetting, as well as the night terrors.

Can I just add for anyone still on this thread.

First I really feel for children who are being pressured to be dry when they really cant help it. It must be so awful for them if they are being made to clean up their sheets or have rewards dangled in front of them or sticker charts or alarms if they really cannot help it.

Whatever Moondog says there are lots of reasons for not being dry at night. Her method only works for some. There are children who for various reasons cannot help it - sometimes it's genetics, sometimes its psychological and one more thing which people dont give enough thought to is constipation. My DD was affected by this. If you cut back on drinks it makes it worse. If a child has previously been reliably dry, and starts to wet the bed, please consider this possible cause - constipation can go unnoticed.

I also know that sometimes a wet pull up in the morning can result from a child being dry all night but waking in the morning and wetting then - so if you have an older child still wet in the morning it can be worth checking at different times to see if they are dry or wet - and waking them maybe half an hour early and go straight to toilet then till they break the habit.

OP if you are still there - I dont think its worth being upset at being given advice as such, but I dont like the sound of the advice, I totally disagree with making such a young child help change the sheets - it implies some sort of punishment/consequences lesson and if a child cant help it, this is totally upsetting for them IMO.

Just found the other list of suggestions...

"Advice from the peadiatrician I worked with was."

1. No fizzy drinks. - none given
2. No light in the bedroom at night because it stimulates vasopressin release which stimulates urine production. night light goes off once asleep (bit hall light on as she hates the dark completely)
3. No TV in the bedroom for the same reason. never having one
4. No drinks after 6pm but lots to drink in the mornings and early afternoon. water given until dinner at 6:30 then nothing
5. Don't limit fluids until late pm as this just makes the urine more concentrated and the bladder doesn't empty fully. It irritates the bladder and can lead to urinary tract infections. we don't
6. Try to find out if there is anything at home or school that is bothering lo. Children who are worrying about something take longer to get to sleep because they are thinking about it, just because eyes are closed doesn't mean they are actually

asleep, they do pretend. This means that they are exhausted when they eventually fall asleep and sleep more deeply. *she has no worries and sleeps8 well* within minutes of bed

1. Sensible bedtime and routine including going to the toilet before bed. we do have sensible routine but no link between late Bedtimes and wetting here

8.Be consistent. we have been for a long time

Oh and DD has been wanting to be dry at night since she turned 2yo and was dry in the day. We tried on and off, for days at a time form then on. When she was 4yo she refused point blank to wear her reusable bed pants anymore. Before that she could feel the wetness anyway as they were reusables, not disposible.