to think that the school nurse shouldn't have sent me this letter...

[emkana]

which has a programme in it how to deal with dd2's "bedwetting" WTF? She doesn't do "bedwetting", she's only 4.4 and still in pull-ups, which I thought was widely accepted as quite normal?

I know that I don't know very much, but more than some, I think Juuule understands.

As I said minty, it's the way you come across.

No Kitty. It is the way you perceive me to come across.
There are plenty of people on here who I think I would probably dislike in real life but I don't post insulting replies to their perfectly reasonable comments.

It certainly is true that we are toilet training later and later. I am one of four girls and my mother had all of us out of nappies during the day by 18 months and each of us was dry at night before turning 2. Washing a few wet and soiled clothes was no more of a pain than washing all those nappies I suspect. Disposables are no work and I believe they are disincentive to training.
To answer the original post, you were splitting hairs rather about bedwetting at night. Your child does have a problem, although nothing serious I'm sure. It would be a bit like saying 92 year old Mrs Beaver isn't incontinent as she wears Tena Lady.

This for example..... "I think there are a few children who can't be dry at night after 4 (more boys than girls) but I certainly don't think it is normal, and it certainly is no reason not to try and train them. It is infantilising putting a 4 or 5 yr old in night time nappies without even trying to train them to be dry at night IMO."..... is just very wide of the mark. What is your experience of "normal" minty?

I agree with Minty, actually, but as I say am ancient so all this stuff about school age kids in nappies is a bit alien to me.

Actually Kitty I have no interest in picking over my post with you, since after your posts on this thread I couldn't give a rats arse what you think about anything. I will let whoever else reads this thread decide if they find my post of any interest or use or not.

Dd is 4.5 and still in pull ups at night. I think Moondog's sweeping statement says more about her than me though. I'm not lazy - and for the record manchita, dd was dry during the day before her 2nd birthday.

I'm very much a go with the flow person (sorry, no pun intended). I just don't see any point in pushing the issue with dd. Every few months we try going without the pull ups and give up. We have tried the things suggested and so far, nothing seems to make any difference. I'm not going to go putting pressure on her to do something that her body isn't allowing her to do.

And I agree about the reusable nappies - made absolutely no difference whatsoever.

Minty, somehow that comes as no surprise to me

"It is infantilising putting a 4 or 5 yr old in night time nappies without even trying* to train them to be dry at night IMO..."

is completely spot on.

thanks mumble

I also agree with Minty.
Kitty - you are shooting the messenger. You asked for advice but only wanted one answer

swedes.I am not the op
I actually with minty that at some point an attempt should be made at might training. However, where I disagree is the timing. Nor do I claim to know what is 'normal'. I only know what I have read and from what I understand night wetting at 4-5 is pretty common.
For minty to suggest that it is 'not normal' is unhelpful to the many mothers here who despite valiant efforts, have children who wet.

excuse typos, had a long night!

So next time perhaps you should write

"For minty to suggest that it is 'not normal' is unhelpful to the many mothers here who despite valiant efforts, have children who wet."

(valid POV)
rather than

"Minty your limited knowledge and hands on experience shows through load and clear.

Stick to what you know."

(fucking rude)

alright minty I apologise for being rude. I find the use of the word "fucking" pretty offensive as it happens.

diddums

Minty, you are wrong about it not being normal for four, five and six year olds to wet the bed. Check out the links on this thread. Specialists in this area say it is normal and have the stats to back that up.

I really don't know why having your child dry at night is turning into some sort of competition.

Mumble I'm even more ancient than you but having a 4yo in nappies at night isn't alien to me. I've still got one.
Some take longer than others no matter what you might try.
My experience is that with each child you have it's possible to see a situation from a different angle. The more you find out the more you realise you don't know it all.
Which is why it sometimes jars to be told that you are infantilising a child because you accept that they are not ready to come out of nappies just yet a 4y+. Especially if you don't really believe that you can train a child to be dry at night due to experiences you've had with your children who were later than that but turned out fine.

fine edam
my main point is that it is odd not to TRY and train your child at that age, just assume they can't be dry because theya re still wetting nappies

but actually I couldn't give a crap what anyone does, personally

minty but it is not odd it is just the school of thought that your child will become dry on their own when the relevant hormone is being produced - so no need to do anything.

swedes, that's exactly what I'm disagreeing with - I strongly believe that at age 4.4 my child does not have a problem if she wears pull-ups at night. It might become a problem at a later date if nothing changes, but at the moment it is, IMO, normal.

I don't personally think it is just the hormone that needs to be considered.
I think if the hormone isn't there they won't be dry, fine, fair enough. There is some argument about at what age most children have that hormone but whatever.

I think if the hormone IS there they are capable of being dry, and may need a bit of training to get there. ie if the hormone is there but they have a comfy absorbent nappy on some children will wet themselves for much longer just because they can, and I think that is infantilising the children.

my v lazy ds1 (7) would still be in nappies given the choice even though he is absolutely fine and dry at night without them. other children will find their own way to being dry as soon as the hormone kicks in. You don't really know which child you have until you test them by taking the nappies off. My example earlier was saying that I tested ds2 at 3.5 - not ready (no hormone perhaps). Tested him at 4 - ready (even though with a nappy on he would still wet it)

I don't think that is a particularly outrageous thought process to go through but hey ho

As for whether your school should send the letter - hey, it is germany, I don't know what the drill is there.

I am surprised at how vile everyone is to eachother. Can you not just accept that everyone's different and some children are dry at night earlier than others?