To think this guy leaving me money is so strange?

[brooksandvicki]

Was out last night and met a guy, brought him home and had a one night stand. Had a good night and he left this morning, I then went to work. When I got home I noticed there is a twenty pound note on the side he was 'sleeping'. He obviously does not think I'm a prostitute but why in the hell would he leave that?

AIBU to think this is very very strange?

@Grellbunt

Blokes should really not be leaving money behind on nightstands - it's just disrespectful

And if it was a mistake it's a weird one to make - just dropping a twenty pound note accidentally? Right there, on a bedside table? Weird. It's a mistake you should be really careful not to make, especially on a ONS.

Forgetting to pick something up that you've taken out of your pocket is hardly a weird mistake. And why do you need to be careful about doing that? Maybe if the guy had left his credit card or something that would be a bit daft.

The mental gymnastics people are engaged in on this thread are fascinating, if not a bit depressing.

@BlokeHereInPeace

Bloke here. Some blokes do this, a sort of way of saying thanks. He doesn't think you ae a sex worker. He probably isn't working out where the children you have will go to school. Have your favourite takeaway delivered and consider a free dinner.

Yeah right, how fucking patronising

@MurielSpriggs

He definitely thinks your a prostitute, sorry.

Bet you feel a bit of cock now, eh @QueenoftheKarens? hmm

It really doesn't sound like she ever does that

I would ignore it and carry on with my life

Bloke/man here usually come up with utter crap and this one didn't disappoint.

drunken ONS on a Sunday, with work the next day? I've led a very boring life.

I may be wrong here but I would guess that for most women who are abused and assaulted by men, this happens by men that they have moved on to an actual relationship with. Not one night stands.

Who carries loose notes in their pockets and not in a wallet? Sorry still sounds weird to me.

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

Jeez OP met a guy, felt an attraction, had great sex, addressed the money query, got a reply.

Why the need to look for something that simply isn't there?

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

Don't say that, as the stick is already up my arse, and I'm not sharing it with anyone.

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

No one is making you

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

Yep

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

No one is telling you to. We're all different.

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

I quite agree!

To be honest, if I'd just met them and fancied the pants off them I would be shagging all night. Sod the sleeping.

@rattusrattus20

drunken ONS on a Sunday, with work the next day? I've led a very boring life.

Yes why not! Doesn't happen very often, was a spur of the moment thing, out with my friend who is going through a break up. My daughter was at her dads. I work in an office alone so not physically taxing. Like I said why not if it's not happening all the time and/or impacting my job or my life.

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

Then don't.

*quite agree!

To be honest, if I'd just met them and fancied the pants off them I would be shagging all night. Sod the sleeping.*

@Zeal

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

I just couldn't imagine feeling the need to share that on a thread about someone who clearly has, I'm not sorry to say. What were you hoping to achieve? To make the OP feel ashamed? Wrong? Abnormal? Do you feel better now?

We all have different ways of expressing our sexuality and meeting our sexual needs. We have no right to attempt to shame others for what they choose to do with their bodies whether it's take someone different home for protected sex every weekend or choosing to only have one sexual partner through waiting for marriage.

If a thought is neither helpful nor kind and is aimed at putting someone down, maybe keep it in your head.

And in case you think you are touching a nerve with me, you aren't. Just because I choose not to do something with my body doesn't mean I'm better than someone who is comfortable having ONS. It's not a competition.

@OuiOuiBonjour This is very well said, and I basically agree with it.

However... what people choose to do in their private lives is absolutely nobody else's business. The minute you choose to share your activities on a public forum, though, you have to acknowledge that you might well attract dissenting voices, or people questioning your choices. The OP has made her ONS public; therefore, other people can express their opinions in public.

If someone found out on the grapevine that the OP had had a ONS and then chose to write her an anonymous letter telling her that she has the morals of an alleycat (I'm hyperbolising, obviously), then they would be quite clearly weird as well as unwontedly (and unwantedly) judgmental.

Curiously black & white thinking there it's not an either/or proposition. I walk for miles in remote areas alone but for a dog, go into pubs alone, strike up convo's with strangers... but go home alone with someone I've never met? Nope, I don't feel that's overcautious.& I don't think you'd be murdered, either. Abused, assaulted, robbed sure. The fact you've been lucky so far is great, but why would you keep taking that risk?

You wouldn't do that? Great, don't do it. No need for the pontification

[quote WeepingWinnie]@OuiOuiBonjour This is very well said, and I basically agree with it.

However... what people choose to do in their private lives is absolutely nobody else's business. The minute you choose to share your activities on a public forum, though, you have to acknowledge that you might well attract dissenting voices, or people questioning your choices. The OP has made her ONS public; therefore, other people can express their opinions in public.

If someone found out on the grapevine that the OP had had a ONS and then chose to write her an anonymous letter telling her that she has the morals of an alleycat (I'm hyperbolising, obviously), then they would be quite clearly weird as well as unwontedly (and unwantedly) judgmental.[/quote]
Thank you. I think I'd be inclined to completely agree had OP started an "I have ONS AMA" thread or "AIBU having ONS". I personally believe this thread wasn't an invitation for people to share their personal sexual ethics or pass judgement on the OPs choice. It was important to share the context of the casual nature of the encounter to explain why she was uneasy about and thrown by the £20. If a friend was asking this same question in a larger group of friends and another one in the group started saying "Wait. What? You slept with someone you just met? I could never imagine doing such a thing!" in a disgusted tone, I'd say the same that I did above. Even though the friend had essentially made it "public".

I can appreciate your are different pov, however.

Oh ffs "your" not your are!

@ponyexpress22

I just couldn't imagine sleeping with someone I'd just met, sorry.

And that’s fine. But so is the OP!

@Shoxfordian

Not a very expensive one either

Harsh but a bit funny.

Maybe he left it there is accident.