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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this guy leaving me money is so strange?

428 replies

brooksandvicki · 27/09/2021 17:32

Was out last night and met a guy, brought him home and had a one night stand. Had a good night and he left this morning, I then went to work. When I got home I noticed there is a twenty pound note on the side he was 'sleeping'. He obviously does not think I'm a prostitute but why in the hell would he leave that?

AIBU to think this is very very strange?

OP posts:
HeadNorth · 28/09/2021 12:54

@HugeBowlofChips

Fucked your body, now wants to fuck with your mind.

He's horrible.

I think you are the one trying to fuck with the OP's mind - along with a fair number of judgy posters.

Unluckily for you, the OP seems pretty happy in her own skin and life choices and is refusing the wear the scarlet letter you are trying to pin on her.

MaenadsJustWannaHaveFun · 28/09/2021 13:29

He left £20 so you could buy some indulgences to expiate your sins, you shameless hussy, you.😂

Some of the Daily Mail readers on this thread... SMH

ChargingBuck · 28/09/2021 13:33

Am I the only one who is horrified that you brought home a man who you had never met before?

& no - this isn't judgement, it's fear & common sense ...

MaenadsJustWannaHaveFun · 28/09/2021 13:39

It's not just you.

We are all shocked, shocked.

To think this guy leaving me money is so strange?
LocutusOfBorg · 28/09/2021 13:56

@ChargingBuck

Am I the only one who is horrified that you brought home a man who you had never met before?

& no - this isn't judgement, it's fear & common sense ...

Everyone you know starts out as a stranger.
MurielSpriggs · 28/09/2021 14:01

Occasionally threads like this give an insight into the unguarded minds of a cross section of Mumsnet, and it's really not pretty!

Theoldprospector · 28/09/2021 14:05

‘Am I the only one who is horrified that you brought home a man who you had never met before?’

Much safer to shag in an alley.

Shallwegoforawalk · 28/09/2021 14:06

Yes I agree, what a great start to the day, good sex and £20 to spend on snacks

GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
brooksandvicki · 28/09/2021 14:08

@ChargingBuck

Am I the only one who is horrified that you brought home a man who you had never met before?

& no - this isn't judgement, it's fear & common sense ...

Meh, it didn't really enter my mind to be honest. I'm a grown woman so it's really my own decision to make, common sense or not. I suppose it is dangerous but it's rare to be murdered on a one night stand although obviously happens. I've had plenty one night stands back in my younger years and still around to tell the tales. With that line of thinking us women shouldn't walk down the street or through a park anymore.
OP posts:
MurielSpriggs · 28/09/2021 14:09

@FaceForRadio1973

I genuinely can't believe that despite the updates, people are still giving the man a hard time.

Oh, yes I can, it's Mumsnet, isn't it?

This man stayed the entire night, and gave the OP a genuine phone number.

That's not the normal actions of the type of sh!thead that would treat the OP like a prostitute....

This man stayed the entire night Ah, in that case he's a cocklodger.

gave the OP a genuine phone number
He's very clearly a freeloader. Why should a woman pay to make a call to a man? He's playing mind games all the way.

DrinkingWishingSmokingHoping · 28/09/2021 14:18

@QueenoftheKarens

He definitely thinks your a prostitute, sorry.
Bet you feel a bit of cock now, eh @QueenoftheKarens? Hmm
SecretKeeper1 · 28/09/2021 14:18

Muriel, did you borrow Winnie’s stick?

MurielSpriggs · 28/09/2021 14:23

He definitely thinks your a prostitute, sorry.

Bet you feel a bit of cock now, eh @QueenoftheKarens? hmm

It really doesn't sound like she ever does that Grin

KissedintheDark · 28/09/2021 14:33

@MurielSpriggs

He definitely thinks your a prostitute, sorry.

Bet you feel a bit of cock now, eh @QueenoftheKarens? hmm

It really doesn't sound like she ever does that Grin

Grin Grin
ClawedButler · 28/09/2021 14:54

This is all irrelevant. What I want to know is what takeaway you're getting with your little windfall?

893confused · 28/09/2021 15:01

The OP is free to have ONSs if she wants. But comparing having a ONS to walking down the street (in terms of the risk of being sexually assaulted or murdered) is pretty ridiculous.

Whammyyammy · 28/09/2021 15:03

@brooksandvicki

No he knows I'm not a prostitute, I was speaking about my job last night and there's just no way. It was a one night stand there was no insinuation that I was a prostitute. And exactly, even if I was, £20 for the full night!! No he got an Uber through his account and bought a few drinks, didn't owe me a thing. Definitely not my £20.

I have his number, I'm tempted to message him and ask 🤣

Perhaps he left it there intentionally to make it look like he accidentally did, so that you woukd ring him. Then he can say let's meet uo so you can give it back to him... a second date, as he likes you
BlokeHereInPeace · 28/09/2021 15:06

Bloke here. Some blokes do this, a sort of way of saying thanks. He doesn't think you ae a sex worker. He probably isn't working out where the children you have will go to school. Have your favourite takeaway delivered and consider a free dinner.

TwinsandTrifle · 28/09/2021 15:09

So like a token of appreciation. A tip.

I can see perhaps the intention behind it is meant as a nice thing. But the reality of having sex then deliberately leaving money after, the instant thought, is not "I bet he wants me to have a nice takeaway."

ChargingBuck · 28/09/2021 15:15

@Theoldprospector

‘Am I the only one who is horrified that you brought home a man who you had never met before?’

Much safer to shag in an alley.

Meh, it didn't really enter my mind to be honest. I'm a grown woman so it's really my own decision to make, common sense or not. I suppose it is dangerous but it's rare to be murdered on a one night stand although obviously happens. I've had plenty one night stands back in my younger years and still around to tell the tales. With that line of thinking us women shouldn't walk down the street or through a park anymore.

Curiously black & white thinking there - it's not an either/or proposition. I walk for miles in remote areas alone but for a dog, go into pubs alone, strike up convo's with strangers ... but go home alone with someone I've never met? - Nope, I don't feel that's overcautious.
& I don't think you'd be murdered, either. Abused, assaulted, robbed - sure. The fact you've been lucky so far is great, but why would you keep taking that risk?

Much safer to shag in an alley.
@Theoldprospector ha bloody ha.
Much safer not to willingly put yourself in a vulnerable position with a stranger, alley, bedroom, chandelier or wherever ...

ChargingBuck · 28/09/2021 15:17

Everyone you know starts out as a stranger.

Exactly @LocutusOfBorg. So common sense says hold off on the being alone with them until they're not?

LocutusOfBorg · 28/09/2021 15:29

@ChargingBuck

Everyone you know starts out as a stranger.

Exactly @LocutusOfBorg. So common sense says hold off on the being alone with them until they're not?

You do realise anyone could turn out to be dangerous at any point in time? Just because you get to know someone doesn't mean they're not capable of hurting you.
Grellbunt · 28/09/2021 15:31

Blokes should really not be leaving money behind on nightstands - it's just disrespectful

And if it was a mistake it's a weird one to make - just dropping a twenty pound note accidentally? Right there, on a bedside table? Weird. It's a mistake you should be really careful not to make, especially on a ONS.

LST · 28/09/2021 15:57

@ChargingBuck

Everyone you know starts out as a stranger.

Exactly @LocutusOfBorg. So common sense says hold off on the being alone with them until they're not?

Yeah because that never ends badly does it
Lweji · 28/09/2021 16:01

I'd have been looking for whatever he had broken in the house, tbh.

Shame you didn't message him asking for at least 100x more. You know, the whole night...

More seriously, could it be his hook for you to keep in contact?
He gave you his phone. Did you ask? Did you give him yours? Now he has it.