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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?

117 replies

somewhereonplanetearth · 26/09/2021 20:52

Our 13 month old son had beautiful curls. He got lots of compliments on them and I loved running my fingers through to them.

My partner always said if we cut his hair it can grow back stronger and it would be easier for us to massage his head with coconut oil to get rid of the dry skin.

I agreed that my partner could take him for a hair cut, but I told him not to cut it too short.

He then came back like this. Before and after picture is attached.

I'm really sad and angry at my partner 😭

Even my mother says he looks poorly like that, like a sick child.

AIBU?

to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?
to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?
OP posts:
User112 · 27/09/2021 07:13

His hair will grow back in no time!
I agree with your partner. And you need to stop getting your mother into this! Imagine if DH was agreeing with MIL over something you did. 🤷‍♀️

Undertheoldlindentree · 27/09/2021 07:18

YANBU. I can see why you're upset. Suddenly his look has completely changed and you need time to get used to it. Unless ill (which is a completely different issue), the very short haircuts done for fashion have quite a tough looking 'street' image. Personally I'm not a fan at all. If this is not how you style and dress your child and you didn't agree the change it's a shock. I would be upset with my partner too, but a few short weeks and it will be back to whatever style you like.

Cheeseplantboots · 27/09/2021 07:36

I’d have been upset too but it’ll grow before you know it x

KingdomScrolls · 27/09/2021 07:48

Long hair, short hair is personal preference definitely no need for boys to have short hair as some are suggesting here, no one ever says to shave a little girl's head. DS's hair is very thick and curly (like mine) so needs a little length or it just looks very messy. My friend's boys have very fine straight hair and usually have short back and sides type haircuts, looks fine on them however during lockdown he shaved them both because they couldn't go to the hairdresser and it looked awful. He sent me a picture of them and the Mitchell brothers, so realised what he'd done. A shaved head is quite a particular look unless on an older man losing his hair so I understand your upset. Hopefully it will grow back quickly.

Hattie765 · 27/09/2021 07:53

FFS, award for most pointless post, it's hair, it grows back, move on.

sst1234 · 27/09/2021 07:55

He’s right. It will grow back.

sst1234 · 27/09/2021 07:57

[quote somewhereonplanetearth]@Rhubarbsoup

I think that's what she meant. She doesn't mean to be offensive, it just the way she talks and she doesn't realize how she comes across[/quote]
Are you spoiling for a fight, getting your mother involved in something so trivial and inconsequential. Because it literally will grow back.

Fluffypastelslippers · 27/09/2021 07:58

Your baby had lovely hair and it made you happy.
Sounds like your dp might have been jealous of the attention .

This is quite a leap, even by mumsnet standards Confused

toomuchlaundry · 27/09/2021 07:59

Might not necessarily grow back curly.

Would the answers have been the same if it was a girl?

Ourlady · 27/09/2021 08:13

I would be upset not by the cut necessarily but about the fact that he thinks he obviously knows best so done what he wanted to do without a proper discussion between you.

Ourlady · 27/09/2021 08:15

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
Eee this is hilarious😂
Abouttimemum · 27/09/2021 08:19

It’ll grow back really quickly. DS is 2.5 and we have to cut his every 6 weeks. Since we’ve been having it regularly cut it lies much better and is much easier to manage and doesn’t look so messy.
Im sure he’ll still have the same curls when it grows back.

hmmuea · 27/09/2021 08:24

@Cryalot2

Your baby had lovely hair and it made you happy. Sounds like your dp might have been jealous of the attention . I would not trust him to be with baby on his own . He knew very well it was not what you wanted. The fact he did what you told him not to do was enough. Why did he go against you? I would be fuming on both accounts.
Christ almighty! Maybe he just wanted to take his child for a haircut because it was getting long? Ever thought of that? Confused
sst1234 · 27/09/2021 08:26

@Cryalot2

Your baby had lovely hair and it made you happy. Sounds like your dp might have been jealous of the attention . I would not trust him to be with baby on his own . He knew very well it was not what you wanted. The fact he did what you told him not to do was enough. Why did he go against you? I would be fuming on both accounts.
If this how you behave in your own relationship? Coming up with all sorts of conspiracies about your partners evil intentions.
CaptainCabinets · 27/09/2021 08:29

If it helps, OP, it looked a sweaty mess before, and looks much neater now.

MyPatronusIsACat · 27/09/2021 08:49

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
I think you're getting hair confused with eyes. ^

It is also, as a few posters have said, utter bollocks that hair 'grows back stronger' if you cut it. It's a child, not a buddleia bush.

I have a feeling I know why the OP's partner cut the little boys long curly hair, and it's not because he is jealous of him, or so it will go back stronger, but I won't say because it may offend a few people.

WeatherwaxOn · 27/09/2021 09:06

@MyPatronusIsACat

I'd have been upset and annoyed if it had been a girl, but I see no problem in giving a boy a short haircut.

Why are some people (mums) so obsessed with keeping their baby/toddler son's hair long? Confused

YABU @somewhereonplanetearth

Equally why are people obsessed with boys having very short hair cuts. It can be tied back or trimmed. It doesn't have to be a buzz cut.
RussianSpy101 · 27/09/2021 09:11

I’ve not met many 13mo where you can’t tell if they’re a boy or a girl, and I used to work in a nursery.

Hboo31 · 27/09/2021 09:12

@WeatherwaxOn because the majority of parents don't tie it back. As mentioned up thread, girls with long hair get clips and bobbles and headbands but boys are just left with it in a mess, flopping over their eyes. Yes some parents tie their boys hair up and yes some girls hair is just left a mess but generally, that's how it goes.

RussianSpy101 · 27/09/2021 09:12

Toddler boys with hair tied up?! 🤮

toomuchlaundry · 27/09/2021 09:21

I hope you didn’t have that attitude when working in the nursery

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 27/09/2021 09:26

@SaraSidleWillows

Jesus, the sexism on here! Girls and Boys can have Short hair, long hair, in between hair... since (as someone mentioned) their sex is indistinguishable when wearing a nappy at 13mo, it’s literally not different.

Even if it was, what genitals you are born with do not determine what styles of hair you are allowed to wear, what jobs you can do or what toys you can play with.

Well said!
Chikapu · 27/09/2021 09:32

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
A piece of his soul? Fuck me sideways, the hyperbole is painful.
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 27/09/2021 09:33

@RussianSpy101

Toddler boys with hair tied up?! 🤮
I suggest you don’t work with children if you have such harmful views of boys and girls fitting into gender stereotypes.
RussianSpy101 · 27/09/2021 09:33

@BeingATwatItsABingThing I don’t work with children, no.