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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?

117 replies

somewhereonplanetearth · 26/09/2021 20:52

Our 13 month old son had beautiful curls. He got lots of compliments on them and I loved running my fingers through to them.

My partner always said if we cut his hair it can grow back stronger and it would be easier for us to massage his head with coconut oil to get rid of the dry skin.

I agreed that my partner could take him for a hair cut, but I told him not to cut it too short.

He then came back like this. Before and after picture is attached.

I'm really sad and angry at my partner 😭

Even my mother says he looks poorly like that, like a sick child.

AIBU?

to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?
to be really annoyed at my partner for cutting our 13 month old's hair?
OP posts:
SnipSnipMrBurgess · 26/09/2021 22:53

[quote somewhereonplanetearth]@Rhubarbsoup

I think that's what she meant. She doesn't mean to be offensive, it just the way she talks and she doesn't realize how she comes across[/quote]
I'd be more worried about that comment than the actual hair. She does mean to be offensive. Unless she has specific issues that prevent her from understanding what she says and learning how not to say offensive things, then it's absolutely horrific.

Hair grows. Get a grip.

Cryalot2 · 26/09/2021 23:22

Your baby had lovely hair and it made you happy.
Sounds like your dp might have been jealous of the attention . I would not trust him to be with baby on his own . He knew very well it was not what you wanted.
The fact he did what you told him not to do was enough.
Why did he go against you?

I would be fuming on both accounts.

MiddlesexGirl · 26/09/2021 23:28

YANBU. He had gorgeous hair. Hopefully won't take too long to grow back and at least you know now that DP can't be trusted with it.

BrendaBubbles · 26/09/2021 23:44

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?

RAFHercules · 26/09/2021 23:51

"He could always wear a hat".

Lol!! Just make sure it's a proper manly hat OP.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/09/2021 23:59

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?

Bit dramatic 🙄

ChrissyPlummer · 26/09/2021 23:59

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
Hmm
HungryHippo11 · 27/09/2021 01:02

I would not trust him to be with baby on his own
For goodness sake Hmm
Some people just live for the drama don't they.

theThreeofWeevils · 27/09/2021 01:06

I take it you've never encountered a toddler who hated wearing hats

Balaclava. Large rubber band. Job's a good'un.

Snugglybuggly · 27/09/2021 01:10

First world problems... it will grow back!

safclass · 27/09/2021 01:15

I don't understand why some people think cutting hair makes it grow back thicker and stronger!?

OrangutanLibrarian · 27/09/2021 01:17

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
😂
RobertaFirmino · 27/09/2021 04:53

@BrendaBubbles

Absolutely terrible. Hair is such a sacred thing and it’s like taking away a piece of his soul. It will grow back eventually but will the trust?
Jeeesus Christ, it's hair. Dead keratinous cells, not the holy fucking grail. Piece of his soul, my arse.
Porridgealert · 27/09/2021 04:58

@CoalCraft

I think YANBU OP, I would be upset too, but then I wouldn't have okayed any haircut at all.
Why does your choice on hairstyle outweigh your partner's?
Porridgealert · 27/09/2021 05:00

@safclass

I don't understand why some people think cutting hair makes it grow back thicker and stronger!?
Because a good cut makes the hair feel and look stronger and thicker. Leaving it whispy at the ends, makes it look thinner and weaker.
HarebrightCedarmoon · 27/09/2021 05:02

I would be upset because it took DD2 until the age of three to have that much hair. But if your son has plenty of hair at 13 months it will probably grow back quickly.

olympicsrock · 27/09/2021 05:04

Looks better. Recently gave my 6 year old a shirt cut to help treat cradle cap . So much easier to get the flakes out of

Porridgealert · 27/09/2021 05:09

@WTF475878237NC

You talked about it beforehand and presumably agreed but he overuled you. I'd be upset about that. Does he generally just say one thing and do another?!
There was no meeting of minds. He wanted it short, she wanted it long. If he'd left it long, then that would mean she would have overruled him. Why would that be right?
Suitcaseseverywhere · 27/09/2021 05:17

It’s hair. It’ll grow.

Your mums comment is breathtakingly offensive though. That’s a bigger issue IMO.

nokidshere · 27/09/2021 06:01

Your DH is a dick. If he was going to go against your wishes, he should at least have been up front about it. He doesn't care if you trust him.

To be fair surely we've all been to the hairdressers at one time or another and it's been cut shorter/longer/differently that we asked for? Maybe he just said short and that's what he got?

Either way it's just hair, it grows back in no time at all.

Spiindoctor · 27/09/2021 06:18

Surely it's because he doesn't want her to look like a girl?

Everyone on here seems to be happy to have boys with short hair - if he'd been a girl would they say the same - nice neat hair, easy to manage, I think not.

Spiindoctor · 27/09/2021 06:23

Either way it's just hair, it grows back in no time at all.

Well, no baby hair doesn't grow back the same - it grows thicker and heavier so the bubbly curls are gone forever.
I feel sad and annoyed for you OP. Is he going to take baby regularly for shoe fitting, clothing, more haircuts etc going forward. Of course not. He'll leave it all to you.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 27/09/2021 06:24

I don’t think he looks ‘like a sick child’ just because he has very short hair! Many cultures routinely keep the hair of babies and toddlers (girls too) very short, to stop it getting wispy and the ends split. The baby hair is patchy and fragile until the stronger hair comes through around 3-4 years.

I don’t know if it makes the hair grow back thicker but I think it looks healthier short, especially if he has cradle cap and you need to keep oiling it and combing the dry scales off.

It will grow again!

trama · 27/09/2021 06:28

It looks much better short. Stop making a fuss over nothing.

chocolateorangeinhaler · 27/09/2021 06:47

Hair doesn't grow back thicker and stronger when you cut it. You don't magically produce more hair follicles every time you have a haircut. What a load of nonsense.

Yeah you are being ridiculous about the haircut as

  1. It will grow back because that what hair does.
  1. If you were so specific on length of haircut then you should have taken him to get it cut.