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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

527 replies

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 19:57

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 26/09/2021 21:55

@SmileyClare

Why are women so hurtful towards single women?

It could well be because you're single, out and reasonably attractive, it could be something else.

How ironic that the majority of replies are calling the Op "full of herself, deluded, so vain, you must think you're hot, why are you so angry and its probably your fault you're treated poorly because you're a dick" Hmm

What's 'ironic' about these replies, please? Do you know what 'ironic' means?
Lou98 · 26/09/2021 21:58

Assuming this thread was just meant to rile people up?😂

Literally nothing in that assumes she feels like you're trying to take her man - maybe she's just moody, tired, having a rough time, or maybe just doesn't like the look of you in general🤷‍♀️

You were married until you were divorced, if it's all married women - would you not be able to answer the question yourself?

MintJulia · 26/09/2021 21:59

Choose a different restaurant. one that offers decent customer service.

Houseofvelour · 26/09/2021 21:59

I'd just find somewhere new to eat.
That's just one woman so I wouldn't tarnish us all with the same brush.

Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:00

@NerrSnerr

Is this all women with husbands or just this one woman?

How do you know she thinks you're after her husband? Maybe she's just grumpy with everyone?

She made a big point of saying she is married to him.

Not necessary. Not professional. In a restaurant.
No. I'm not stupid. It happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:01

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

Not that I expect you'll be back really but 🤷‍♀️ I assume you think married women are like that because that's how you behaved when you were married.
No, I didn't actually. Interesting you might think that. What?
OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 26/09/2021 22:02

It's considerate to not linger unduly in a busy restaurant unless you keep ordering. As a former waitress I've seen single customers order a starter, not even a drink - then stay there for 3 hours. Of course it's their 'right' to be there but it costs the restaurant money.

@TractorAndHeadphones Can you point to the part in OP’s post that makes you think she’s “lingering”?

Cas112 · 26/09/2021 22:03

This is giving major ‘the world revolves around me’ vibes 😂

Malldelly · 26/09/2021 22:03

Wow, so someone appears a bit off with you, you automatically assume it's because they're jealous of you?!

C8H10N4O2 · 26/09/2021 22:04

@PhillMcCann

We just know we can't compete with you and we're scared our husbands are going to run off and leave us for you 😭😭
Either than or she is rolling her eyes at a regular bad tipper Grin
Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:04

@SomebodysMum

Maybe it’s nothing to do with being threatened.

Maybe it’s just because you’re regularly taking up a table which could be used by 2 people (could be couple, friends, siblings, whatever) so she’s making less money from the table than she would if there were 2 x meals and drinks to charge for?

No it isn't that. For information I spend good money on what I eat. The most expensive item on the menu. Not because it is the most expensive, just because i have cooked so much over various lockdowns it is my treat.
OP posts:
ufucoffee · 26/09/2021 22:06

If her husband is in the kitchen it's not about him. She just doesn't like you.

Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:07

@MyPatronusIsACat

WOW. You're a bit full of yourself eh *@beigebrownblue*

'Married woman is jealous of me, an obviously-super-attractive single woman, coz I may ensnare her man, (and I could have him if I wanted, so there!')

have this >>> Biscuit

No actually I'm not super attractive. I detest attention from men at the moment and deliberately dress down. Interesting replies here along the lines of

Women are to blame for everything.
i.e. what they wear, what they don't wear, where they are, where they aren't what they spend...what they don't spend...

Men wouldn't be treated like that.

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 26/09/2021 22:07

And how would she even know if you were single?

Yes, did you tell her?

Do you wear a badge?

Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:09

C8H

And I'm not a bad tipper.
I am a brillian tiipper because I really appreciate the service and the food.

perhaps women are not supposed to go out to eat at all.
Misogyny in action.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 26/09/2021 22:09

Maybe she just thinks you’re a bit of a pain in the bum as a customer?

Waspsarearseholes · 26/09/2021 22:10

"Women are to blame for everything.
i.e. what they wear, what they don't wear, where they are, where they aren't what they spend...what they don't spend..."

Oh, are you pro-women now? Because when you started this thread you were very anti- women. Married women, especially.

LukeEvansWife · 26/09/2021 22:10

@beigebrownblue

C8H

And I'm not a bad tipper.
I am a brillian tiipper because I really appreciate the service and the food.

perhaps women are not supposed to go out to eat at all.
Misogyny in action.

Oh FFS Hmm
Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:11

@BrightYellowDaffodil

It's considerate to not linger unduly in a busy restaurant unless you keep ordering. As a former waitress I've seen single customers order a starter, not even a drink - then stay there for 3 hours. Of course it's their 'right' to be there but it costs the restaurant money.

@TractorAndHeadphones Can you point to the part in OP’s post that makes you think she’s “lingering”?

I order the most expensive item on the menu. Not to make a point. Simply because I never get to eat it for myself. And no, I don't 'linger'.

Why as this poster says are you assuming I do?

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 26/09/2021 22:12

OP you are the one with the awful opinion of women here.

You have decided this woman doesn't like you and it simply must be because she's jealous of you.

LadyLolaRuben · 26/09/2021 22:12

Hi OP, when I've been single I've had issues like this too. Im very careful around men with partners in order to make sure I don't say or do anything they may object to. I actually sometimes make more of an effort to connect with the woman so we're on decent terms. However, that hasn't stopped some taking offence but thats their perception.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 22:12

@Waspsarearseholes

"Women are to blame for everything. i.e. what they wear, what they don't wear, where they are, where they aren't what they spend...what they don't spend..."

Oh, are you pro-women now? Because when you started this thread you were very anti- women. Married women, especially.

Exactly. The OP isn't making sense.

I'm starting to wonder if she should've had water with her dinner instead...

Waspsarearseholes · 26/09/2021 22:13

Misogyny in action
And yet here you are, accusing every single married woman of being jealous and hurtful. I really understand why the manager ('mangeress' isn't a word, btw) of the restaurant doesn't like you. You don't even understand what you're commenting on.

Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:13

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

Not that I expect you'll be back really but 🤷‍♀️ I assume you think married women are like that because that's how you behaved when you were married.
Why would you come to this conclusion? Why isn't this ingrained misogyny of the worst sort?

And why wouldn't I be 'back;?

To the restaurant?
To here?

I'm claiming my space.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 26/09/2021 22:13

@beigebrownblue

C8H

And I'm not a bad tipper.
I am a brillian tiipper because I really appreciate the service and the food.

perhaps women are not supposed to go out to eat at all.
Misogyny in action.

What on earth does this mean? Confused Nobody is jealous of you, they probably don't even notice you. It's all in your head.
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