Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

527 replies

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 19:57

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

OP posts:
Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:59

@AnneLovesGilbert

Lobster?
Steak actually. With peppercorn sauce. Outrageous what women ask for these days isn't it? Especially if nutritionally they need it. Goodness. Who would have thought it caused such a storm?

can't see that a man doing this would be hammered so much.
But there is the patriarchy for you...

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 26/09/2021 22:59

I have experienced being dropped by so called "friends" after divorce, yes it does happen but that is by people I knew, not some randommer who has no more idea of my marital status than I do of theirs.

I am not for one second agreeing that her issue is with her being jealous of you talking to her husband. I have worked in the industry and have been a single customer too, never have I experienced this. I have however worked with and been served by some real moody arseholes who frankly shouldnt be in the job. Sounds like she is one of them and would probably be the same regardless of the sex of the person concerned.

And saying that anyone who thinks you are making a massive leap to assume she thinks you are after her husband is mysognistic is equally ridiculous. Her being a bitch to you does not mean that she wouldnt be to a man, you being told that your theory is bunkum is not mysoginisitc and it being pointed out that you're issue is more likely to be in your head than in reality is something I would cheerfully say to a man.

Sparklesocks · 26/09/2021 22:59

I think calling these replies misogyny is quite a leap.
I actually think it sets women back quite far when they cry misogyny solely because they’ve been criticised or disagreed with. You can think another woman is behaving poorly/jumping to conclusions/being a bit silly without it being about gender. If the genders were reversed I’d think the same if a man posted this. Of course misogyny and internalised misogyny exists but I don’t think it’s the case here.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 22:59

Perhaps the manageress is off with you because she thinks you're a bit weird, and doesn't know how to react to you?

I mean if you come across in real life anything like you're doing on this thread, it's understandable.

EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 26/09/2021 23:00

“This wouldn’t happen to a bloke”

I’m sure if a man posted on here that men were aggressive and unpleasant to him because their wives all fancied him, he’d be called all the things you have... delusional etc

DrSbaitso · 26/09/2021 23:01

I say again, this wouldn't happen to a bloke.

A woman would never tell a weird man who can't read a social interaction that she was married?

RickySpanishhh · 26/09/2021 23:03

@WorraLiberty

Perhaps the manageress is off with you because she thinks you're a bit weird, and doesn't know how to react to you?

I mean if you come across in real life anything like you're doing on this thread, it's understandable.

This
GreyhoundG1rl · 26/09/2021 23:04

can't see that a man doing this would be hammered so much.
But there is the patriarchy for you...
This is a nonsensical response to a poster asking what you were eating, op.
It was a reasonable question when you claimed there's only one thing you're able to eat, and you need it for "nutritional purposes" 🙄

Original poster
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 23:05

Sure, kids, you are all right. And I am wrong. Lol.

I will just carry on eating my steak then. And enjoy.

Means I don't have to cook.

Good job I don't take mumsnet seriously, isn't it.

OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 26/09/2021 23:05

You continue to make less sense with every post. I'm not even sure you even remember why you're pissed off? Maybe sleep it off then come back in the morning when you might have half a chance of making a semi-decent argument. You don't seem to realise at all that your whole post is extremely anti-women, yet you accuse others of being misogynistic. Genuinely, do you understand what that word means? You use words such as 'mangeress' (one assumes you meant 'manageress' but you jump on any poster who dares make reasonable assumptions so I daren't say for sure) which isn't altogether progressive and pro-women, is it? You continue to spout absolute guff and answer every PP's question with a rather idiotic question of your own. You. Do. Not. Make. Sense. You are embarrassing yourself.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 26/09/2021 23:06

She doesn't even know you're straight! Maybe she thinks you come in because you are a single lesbian who fancies her?

LulaMaeBarnes · 26/09/2021 23:07

Ah ok, I’ve just read all OPs replies. Op is clearly a man taking the piss.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/09/2021 23:07

If you need iron you can take supplements.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/09/2021 23:07

"But there is the patriarchy for you...." is exactly the sort of crap that sets feminism back. You are blaming the patriarchy for something that has literally NOTHING to do with feminism or the patriarchy. And whining that "it wouldnt happen to a man!!" when you a) dont know that and b) have been told you are being at best a bit silly and at worst fucking delusional is why a lot of people dont take feminists seriously when there genuinely is an issue.

Summerfun54321 · 26/09/2021 23:07

Maybe you’re killing the vibes with your scruffy loner bookworm look? Plenty of men and women dine out alone in London, but they usually rock the “I’m here on business” look. Just saying.

Holskey · 26/09/2021 23:08

Do you have a lot of alcohol with this steak OP?

TwinsandTrifle · 26/09/2021 23:08

No I an not 'angry; or 'unreasonable'
why on earth would you assume that?
If not internalised misogyny?

Because, the woman knows nothing about you, other than you keep going into her restaurant and taking a table to read a book and order the same thing. She doesn't know you're divorced fgs, she doesn't know a thing about you!

So on the basis she categorically has no idea that you're single, can you not see that.....She. Isn't. Moody. With. You. Because. You're. Single.

In fact, she's got no reason at all to be moody and that's why people are asking if you're being angry or unreasonable....as in, what is it that you might be doing to contribute to her apparent behaviour.

You are coming across really strange OP, and I wondered too if English was your first language, as if you're not doing it deliberately, or are a bit drunk, your posts aren't particularly comprehensible. Not wanting to offend, just that you seem to contradict yourself a lot, or make really odd non points.

WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 26/09/2021 23:08

How much are you drinking when you’re at this restaurant OP? If you regularly knock back a bottle of wine with your steak and talk a load of shite that might explain why she’s a bit off with you.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/09/2021 23:10

@beigebrownblue

Sure, kids, you are all right. And I am wrong. Lol.

I will just carry on eating my steak then. And enjoy.

Means I don't have to cook.

Good job I don't take mumsnet seriously, isn't it.

Well if the only person who agrees with you is .... you then I would be having a long hard think about whether all those other women, many of them self declared feminists, are in fact wrong.

Pop back under the bridge dear.

Malldelly · 26/09/2021 23:12

First World problems,eh? OP is so stunningly beautiful she can't eat her expensive steak in peace without the insecurities of other lesser women bothering her.

Allycott · 26/09/2021 23:12

Yeah it's a thing. I'm divorced for ages now. Dint want or even need a partner - but it's amazing how suspiciously you are treated by the wives of guys when you meet a couple lol. I'm like "hello - look at me - what makes you think I want to take one half of this boring set up?"

ItsSunnyOutside · 26/09/2021 23:13

This is such a weird thread Hmm
I can't work out if it's for real.

HannaHanna · 26/09/2021 23:13

How does the chef pass the time when he comes out of the kitchen?

TwinsandTrifle · 26/09/2021 23:17

@Allycott I understand what you're saying, but in your situation, presumably at least you've been identified as a single woman, so you can at least say this is a known factor.

The woman in the restaurant has no idea if OP is single, married, or dating 4 circus acrobats simultaneously. That's how attached this scenario is to OPs relationship status.

Frazzledmummy123 · 26/09/2021 23:17

If your attitude towards the lady who serves you is anything like your attitude on here then no wonder she is off with you.

You sound very angry and as though you have a chip on your shoulder against men and how people wouldn't talk to them like that.

Several people including myself have asked you for further context on the woman's remark that she is married to the chef but you haven't provided this.

Then you call us 'kids' and slag off the site you posted on? Hmm . Have a word with yourself

Swipe left for the next trending thread