Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are women with husbands so jealous and hurtful towards other single women?

527 replies

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 19:57

Ok. I'm divorced.

I have absolutely ZILCH desire to hook up with a man.

None. Nil. Nichts. Nada.

I have been taking myself out once a week to eat at a local restaurant. Not cheap, but it is the only break I get.

I have noticed that the woman who is mangeress of the restaurant is really off with me and does not seem to be able to accept my presence.

I dress down. For a long time I've not wanted to be noticed by anyone actually. Often I read a book.

Her other half cooks in the kitchen.

Why is it that she insists on being territorial with me, on this one?

Are women so threatened nowadays?

Yes, perhaps her other half has history, but why blame a customer?

OP posts:
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:25

@gobbynorthernbird

I'm single and eat or drink out by myself a lot. I've never had this. In fact, quite the opposite.
thanks for posting this, I think more people should be aware of this.
OP posts:
Waspsarearseholes · 26/09/2021 22:25

"Its the only thing on the menu I like and can eat, actually.
Nutrition wise"

You literally change your tune in every post. You are either bored or delusional but one thing I can guarantee is that you're a liar.

MeredithGreyishblue · 26/09/2021 22:25

So you regularly visit a restaurant where you're clearly not welcome and order the filet mignon (flaming yon) and read your book in order to claim your space against / amidst misogyny...

Is it an open kitchen?

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/09/2021 22:26

Why do you go to a restaurant where you can only eat one item on the menu? Aren’t there places with more variety you could go?

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 22:26

OP if you just want a "I hate men" rant, why didn't you start a thread like that instead of slagging off married women?

I'm sure you would've got more empathetic posts (as long as you made them comprehensible.)

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:27

@Bluntness100

Why do you think it’s to do with her partner in the kitchen? Do you even know him or see him?

Confused

the chef comes out of the kitchen and passes the time of day. The time of day. That's all.
OP posts:
beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:28

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why do you go to a restaurant where you can only eat one item on the menu? Aren’t there places with more variety you could go?
I like it. Its nice food.
OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 26/09/2021 22:28

She made a big point of saying she is married to him.

She was probably just making chit chat or possibly trying to give the impression of the restaurant as a friendly, intimate, husband-and-wife endeavour. If you think someone is jealous and hurtful for mentioning their spouse in context, the insecurity might not be theirs.

frazzledasarock · 26/09/2021 22:29

How does she know you’re single?

GreyhoundG1rl · 26/09/2021 22:29

I'm single and eat or drink out by myself a lot. I've never had this. In fact, quite the opposite.

thanks for posting this, I think more people should be aware of this.

Are you drunk, op, or just taking the piss? Confused. More people should be aware that your experience just doesn't happen to other people?
Most people are aware of this, actually...

Malldelly · 26/09/2021 22:29

Compliments to the chef should be about the food, not his twinkly blue eyes or grabbable arse

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 22:29

the chef comes out of the kitchen and passes the time of day.
The time of day
That's all

So it's very probably nothing to do with her husband then.

Can you honestly not think of a single reason why she might dislike you, other than this?

SleepingStandingUp · 26/09/2021 22:29

It does seem very odd @beigebrownblue that you walked in to eat and the manager immediately stalks over and tells you she's married to the chef. What happened next, to give us some context to her mind set?

Do you know him outside of work? Small village where he might recognise you and have said "oh that's Amy, good to see her out since the divorce"?

I'm a married woman, DH works in a small team with women, I don't feel the need to pee up his leg to claim him. You either trust your DH or you divorce him imo

gobbynorthernbird · 26/09/2021 22:31

More people should be aware that I go out on my own a fair bit? OK then, OP.

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:32

@SomebodysMum

Maybe it’s nothing to do with being threatened.

Maybe it’s just because you’re regularly taking up a table which could be used by 2 people (could be couple, friends, siblings, whatever) so she’s making less money from the table than she would if there were 2 x meals and drinks to charge for?

how are you assuming I spend less than more people? I am a local and the restaurant was empty more or less today...
OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/09/2021 22:32

the chef comes out of the kitchen and passes the time of day.
Perhaps she's actually pissed off at him that she's working and he's arsing around talking to diners and she's making it clear to you he's not available hoping you'll deter him from flirting further

Dillydollydingdong · 26/09/2021 22:32

You're probably imagining it. Just a misunderstanding. Why don't you start up a convo with her and ask if there's anything bothering her. You like it here, you love the food, and you eat here quite often but you don't feel very welcome. Is there anything wrong?

Kite22 · 26/09/2021 22:32

You have made the most ridiculous and spectacular leap here.

I'm just trying to decide if you actually really believe this ridiculous generalisation, or if you are just trying (quite successfully as it turns out) to provoke a reaction with your ridiculous headline.

frazzledasarock · 26/09/2021 22:33

So you go to a restaurant every week and order the most expensive item on the menu.

The chef of the restaurant comes out and speaks to you. Are you the only customer they have? Why’s the chef not cooking?

And the chefs wife who manages front house is jealous of you.
Which you’ve concluded because she has resting botch face?

Lokdok · 26/09/2021 22:33

This is utter nonsense. 1. She's probably just a moody cow. 2. She doesn't know you're single, I'm not and I go out and eat alone when I'm working away as do many women. 3. What makes you think she thinks you want her man, and even if you did - so what!?

frazzledasarock · 26/09/2021 22:33

Resting bitch face

RaginaPhalange · 26/09/2021 22:34

I'm still confused.

Why do you think she's being territorial?

She could've just been making small talk by saying her other half works in the kitchen.

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:35

@Bluntness100

It’s illogical though, thinking the bloke in the kitchen fancies you has cheated on her and she’s jealous of you.

That’s a leap that’s mind boggling.

I didn't actually. You did.
OP posts:
expatmigrant · 26/09/2021 22:35

Get a grip
Have an extra Gin

beigebrownblue · 26/09/2021 22:36

@MrsR87

I don’t understand this thread. I’m a married woman and I don’t know why I would be specifically jealous of a single woman. What freedoms do you have that I don’t? I’m so confused!

I might envy you if you are drop dead gorgeous or if you possess a talent I don’t…but for being single….???

Yes no I don't get it either, but obviously some feel differently. I don't get it..
OP posts: