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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 26/09/2021 14:02

I think the royal mail person was making a joke statement, people need to try and see the humour in things, instead of getting uptight about minor things.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/09/2021 14:03

@Strawbsaturno

This happened to me as well!!! He Handed the parcel over to DH, winked and said ‘she’s spending your money again mate!’ I was livid… I work FT and pay for my own bloody stuff.
That was obviously a joke. He winked!
NotMyCat · 26/09/2021 14:04

I work in a car dealership and we have I would say equal amounts of male and female sales now. The men wouldn't even dare to make a sexist comment, they're far too terrified of the female sales. All the service advisors are female Smile as well
It's usually older men that want a male sales, and they will ask, otherwise it's just whoever is free

Crochetandcoffeebreaks · 26/09/2021 14:05

Why does he even feel the need to comment on it Confused whether it's your own money or someone else's, that's not his business or anyone else's.
But he's not funny anyway, maybe just stick to doing the deliveries and less of the small talk.

ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 14:09

people need to try and see the humour in things

Yes, do try harder OP Hmm

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 14:10

people need to try and see the humour in things

Hopefully you wouldn't say the same to someone who didn't find a racist 'joke' funny.

Generalpost · 26/09/2021 14:19

Why does mn twist everything why are people bringing up racist joke. It's not a racist joke is it. Its nothing to do with racism.

Its about Mr and Mrs snow flake being offended over nothing .

NCBlossom · 26/09/2021 14:19

This isn’t OK. I know it’s seen as just a jokey, harmless thing to say.

But years ago I was in a relationship that I guess would be called emotionally abusive now, and part of that was financial. I had many things delivered, as we lived remotely and I had no access to a car, and stuck at home with the baby and unable to work for a time. The things I ordered were mostly really necessary, like cutlery or baby things.

My Ex made me explain every single purchase and moaned constantly about not having enough money. Despite earning a lot. So when our local postman made these jokes it meant that Ex thought he was being entirely reasonable in stopping me from purchasing things online.

So… you know it’s all misogyny!

ohthatbloodycat · 26/09/2021 14:21

I am laidback to the point of horizontal, but even I wouldn't be able to zone out on this. Sexist twat.

ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 14:22

Why does mn twist everything

Do you think it's not sexist?

toomuchlaundry · 26/09/2021 14:23

@Generalpost but it is sexist. So people are asking if you are ok with a sexist joke are you ok with a racist joke

LakieLady · 26/09/2021 14:26

@hulahooper2

I’m sure it was a jocular comment , you are overthinking this
It was undoubtedly intended as a joke, but it has its roots in an offensive and sexist notion. I'd be pissed off.

This sort of everyday misogyny passed off as banter gets on my tits.

Congressdingo · 26/09/2021 14:27

@GoodnightGrandma

It just sounds like a bloke joke. Just roll your eyes and carry on.
See this is the other side, misandry. And this is no better than misogyny.

It's also something I would have said, but now I'm getting older and grumpier and dont want younger women to have to smile at these comments and just shrug it off.

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 14:27

@ohthatbloodycat

I am laidback to the point of horizontal, but even I wouldn't be able to zone out on this. Sexist twat.
In which case, first part of your post is clearly untrue.
LakieLady · 26/09/2021 14:32

@forinborin

I had someone to come from a well known home renovation company to give a quote (for a window replacement) and demanded to talk to the head of the family to ensure they are OK with it. I am single (a single parent too). Then I got - ahhh, aren't you lucky to be able to have all this (abstract hand waving). No, not lucky, just worked hard.
I had that when I was getting quotes for new windows & doors. They wouldn't even come and quote unless my DP could be there as well.

That's £13k's worth of work they missed out on.

Heathcliff27 · 26/09/2021 14:32

@Auroreforet

A car salesman told me to come back with my dh. I told him I was buying a car for myself thanks and knew what I wanted. I didn't go back obviously.
My neighbour told my DH he was earning too much money if he could buy "the wife" a car as well as have one himself. Er, my car, paid for by me thanks.
CaptSkippy · 26/09/2021 14:33

This crap seemed to be on the rise. I blame MRA platforms. They are really out to vilify women once again.

Together with the rise in women murdered by men, I would not call this "a joke". This is symptom. One of many of things to come.

OhGiveUp · 26/09/2021 14:34

@Generalpost I was just typing the same when you posted.

CherryHug · 26/09/2021 14:38

@NowEvenBetter

Yeah, Royal Mail do parcel only deliveries on Sundays here. Started a few months ago, get around £14 an hour for it. You could have simply googled ‘Royal Mail, Sunday’ instead of making a dick of yourself.
Equally you could have just kindly explained, without being mean, I was genuinely curious!
WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 14:38

@CaptSkippy

This crap seemed to be on the rise. I blame MRA platforms. They are really out to vilify women once again.

Together with the rise in women murdered by men, I would not call this "a joke". This is symptom. One of many of things to come.

It's a bit of a leap to blame MRA platforms because someone regurgitated an age old 'joke'.

Plus the OP's 'rendered speechless' DH who only got angry after he closed the door, doesn't get off scot-free here IMO.

If he's not willing to be part of the solution, then he's part of the problem he was apparently so angry about.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 14:38

@Generalpost

Why does mn twist everything why are people bringing up racist joke. It's not a racist joke is it. Its nothing to do with racism.

Its about Mr and Mrs snow flake being offended over nothing .

Do you really not understand the concept of comparisons?

I'm not a snowflake, I just don't think it's necessary or funny to perpetuate the stereotype that men earn money and women spend it. I think it's sexist. Because it is.

You sound like someone who would use the phrases 'can't say anything nowadays' and 'the world's gone mad' or refer to 'casual' racism rather than just saying racism.

Lovely.

Pinklioness · 26/09/2021 14:41

@Trinacham

It's amazing that people are still out there thinking all women are SAHMs

I don't think that has any revelance anyway! I'm planning to be a SAHM soon, for a few years at least, but it angers me the assumptions made on us. I have been the higher earner for most years, I paid more towards our home deposit, I am the money-saving-fanatic half of the relationship etc. It is such a sexist assumption that all women just spend all their husband's money and have never contributed much/equally/more!

Exactly.

If women are having a go at other women and making those kind of assumptions, how the hell do we expect things to change?

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 14:43

I just don't think it's necessary or funny to perpetuate the stereotype that men earn money and women spend it.

It’s not perpetuating it. It’s taking the piss out of it. You wouldn’t do well with satire.

LakieLady · 26/09/2021 14:45

@321Backintheroom

I work for Royal Mail … I experience sexism daily in the workplace . It is a horrible atmosphere to work in .
Why do you put up with it? What do they say when tell them to cut the sexist shite or similar?

I once worked in a role and organisation where I was the first woman employed in that role. The sexism I experienced was appalling, most of it in the guise of "banter".

I called them out on it, every single time, and it soon stopped except for one particularly misogynist old dinosaur. One day, when he made some vile comment, I took out a notebook and made a note. He asked what I was doing.

I replied "Adding it to the list of things that are going in the grievance I'm going to take out against you". He visibly paled, and never said anything inappropriate or sexist again. Like a lot of misogynists, he was actually frightened of women.

CaptSkippy · 26/09/2021 14:45

@WorraLiberty

They are spreading the hatred. They are the worst element of it, but men like these are the source of the bigotry that trickles down and filters throughout society. MRA is just a new term for an old evil.

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