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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 14:48

@Blossomtoes

I just don't think it's necessary or funny to perpetuate the stereotype that men earn money and women spend it.

It’s not perpetuating it. It’s taking the piss out of it. You wouldn’t do well with satire.

Yes I'm sure he was making a satirical / ironic joke and not just being old fashioned and sexist...
WorraLiberty · 26/09/2021 14:49

[quote CaptSkippy]@WorraLiberty

They are spreading the hatred. They are the worst element of it, but men like these are the source of the bigotry that trickles down and filters throughout society. MRA is just a new term for an old evil.[/quote]
Ahh right.

goawayalcg · 26/09/2021 14:50

@1forAll74

I think the royal mail person was making a joke statement, people need to try and see the humour in things, instead of getting uptight about minor things.
Maybe men should stop making sexist jokes that aren't funny?
NewlyGranny · 26/09/2021 14:53

I think those dinosaurs are pretty smart the way they dress up and pass as adult male humans prostate-havers or whatever we're allowed to call the people formerly referred to as men.

I hear you can distinguish them by their reptilian little eyes and lack of any true sense of humour.

LakieLady · 26/09/2021 14:53

@Generalpost

People are so snow flakey theses day no one can take even a little joke. We will all be waking around with blank faces soon With no sense of humour what do ever incase we offend anyone with the slightest thing said. I don't even know what your DH told you
I can take a joke fine, thanks, but refuse to be complicit with sexism disguised as humour or "banter".
DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 26/09/2021 14:53

@Peanutsandchilli

Postman tells a joke. The perpetually offended, are offended. No surprise on here.
As others have pointed out, black people have been "putting up" with racist jokes for decades. They're just jokes after all aren't they ?

Do you think it's ok for racist jokes too ?

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 15:01

Oh do stop the tired old trope with racist jokes. It wasn’t a racist joke, was it? It was irony, despite @youvegottenminuteslynn’s inability to recognise it as such.

toomuchlaundry · 26/09/2021 15:05

Why is it irony?

RosesAndHellebores · 26/09/2021 15:09

Well the next time a delivery man makes a comment, I'd say "gosh if it's like that at your house you must be a really big swinging dick, because it isn't like that here."

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 15:10

@Blossomtoes

Oh do stop the tired old trope with racist jokes. It wasn’t a racist joke, was it? It was irony, despite *@youvegottenminuteslynn*’s inability to recognise it as such.
Unless for example the postman knows that OP earns a massive amount and her husband doesn't, therefore making a statement that is the opposite of what he knows to be true, where's the irony in his statement? Do you understand what irony is?
MissMaple82 · 26/09/2021 15:10

Ots just light hearted banter. Better to be like that than a miserable postie that never speaks. Get a grip

LakieLady · 26/09/2021 15:11

@1forAll74

I think the royal mail person was making a joke statement, people need to try and see the humour in things, instead of getting uptight about minor things.
There's nothing humorous or "minor" about the assumption that men control the money in a household. Especially because it's still true in a lot of households.

Unless these attitudes are challenged, things won't change, and sexist creeps will carry on with their micro-misogynies.

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 15:13

Do you understand what irony is?

Yes. You don’t though.

Lurcherloves · 26/09/2021 15:14

I think it’s lighthearted joking. I get that it’s a little sexist but it is a joke

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 15:16

@Blossomtoes

Do you understand what irony is?

Yes. You don’t though.

Enlighten me - where's the irony in the postman's comment?
ifIwerenotanandroid · 26/09/2021 15:17

OP's DH should've said, "Nah, she earns more than you do, mate," & shut the door on him.

I remember in the 1980's talking to an estate agent about getting a mortgage. He asked DH what he earned & wrote it down without comment. Then he asked what I earned & the figure I gave was close to DH's. The agent looked at me, swallowed hard & said, "That's a lot for a young lady." DH & agreed afterwards that it meant it was more than the agent got.

PandoraP · 26/09/2021 15:17

My MIL always used to joke DIL earned the money and she spent it. It’s a generation thing?

daisychain01 · 26/09/2021 15:18

That was obviously a joke. He winked!

Of course it was a joke, and a lovely cheeky wink. Like every other misogynistic arse who wraps up their micro-aggressions towards women "oh but it was only a joke! Can't you take a joke then?" Yeah right, that's for explaining what a joke is. Chip, chip, chip, everyday sexism that we've become so used to it's easy to discount it as "a joke"

OP I had exactly the same thing happen to me word for word. A man at work, doesn't let anyone (least of all a woman) get a word in edgeways, said on a call "sorry in advance if the door goes, it'll be Amazon. It's my wife spending my money again". Change the broken record. Cheers.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 26/09/2021 15:19

@Blossomtoes

Do you understand what irony is?

Yes. You don’t though.

I hate the use of irony to excuse sexism. That was the 90's, people, & it was crap then.
ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 15:21

It’s a generation thing

It's a sexist thing

daisychain01 · 26/09/2021 15:23

People on here need to read up about Everyday Sexism, it's woven into the fabric of society, at work, at leisure, across the board - it's pernicious and we've become blind to it and even defend the misogynists who perpetrate it - as if those privileged MPS (male, pale and stale) need defending!

Brokensunflower · 26/09/2021 15:25

It's a joke. An unfunny one but a joke.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 26/09/2021 15:25

@ifIwerenotanandroid

I hate the use of irony to excuse sexism. That was the 90's, people, & it was crap then.

Especially when there's no irony in what he said! A PP said I failed to spot it, but doesn't seem able to explain it?

marieantoinehairnet · 26/09/2021 15:26

I've had my mother in law do this, and I'll me up on my spending... I am by a country mile the higher earner, it's 2021 but some people live in the past

FramboiseRoyale · 26/09/2021 15:27

@Blossomtoes

It’s not harmless in any way.

Isn’t it? Describe the damage.

Micro-sexism adds up. Sexist attitudes devalue women. Devaluation of women contributes to oppression of women, especially when expressed as violence against women. This devaluation happens through the cumulative effect of casual, even jokey, remarks. It creates a climate where more serious types of sexism and misogyny, such as violence against women, can flourish.