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AIBU?

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Original poster

Royal Mail delivery man just warned DH I'm spending his money!!

384 replies

VitalsStable · 26/09/2021 10:42

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

OP posts:
Sunshineonmars · 26/09/2021 12:43

@PuppyMonkey

Very annoying if said in a jokey way but OP’s assertion that it definitely WASN’T said in a jokey way is adding another level of intrigue I think. Confused
And the husband was rendered speechless by it too. I wonder is he’s shaking now.
Sunshineonmars · 26/09/2021 12:46

[quote WorraLiberty]@Schoolsucks, that's exactly what my DH would've said.[/quote]
It’s exactly what my dad would say , he’s in his 70s and hardly a beacon of political correctness.
What is wrong with all these wet lettuce men that don’t say anything.

Peanutsandchilli · 26/09/2021 12:47

Postman tells a joke. The perpetually offended, are offended. No surprise on here.

Osrie · 26/09/2021 12:48

@OrangeJuiceAndNoodles

I couldn't get wound up by this. I get why it's annoying though.

It's amazing that people are still out there thinking all women are SAHMs.

Grin and of course all SAHMs are spending their husbands money!
CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/09/2021 12:50

You just answer "Why would it be his money I'm spending?" See what the reaction is.

neveradullmoment99 · 26/09/2021 12:50

@VitalsStable

I know not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things but just had a parcel delivered. DH opened door as I was busy heeding the call of nature.

The delivery man handed over the parcel to my husband and then mentioned in a strange voice that it had my name on it and he needed warning that I'm spending his money.

DH was a bit WTF and didn't say anything but was quite cross when he shut the door and said it was completely inappropriate.

The delivery was Christmas presents which I actually paid for from money I earned and although DH is the higher earner in our household the bloody Royal Mail guy wasn't aware of that. DH could have been my brother, a SAHD or had bought something on an account with my name on, I could be the higher earner and DH could be blowing my hard earned cash on frivolities.

Gggrrrr, sad that this idea of women still prevails in 2021.

Its a joke. Move on.
neveradullmoment99 · 26/09/2021 12:51

Probably intended to wind you up. Job done.

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 12:53

What is wrong with all these wet lettuce men that don’t say anything

Same as all of us women who don’t say anything, presumably. I have no desire for the world to judge me as a professionally offended, humourless twat.

Fluffycloudland77 · 26/09/2021 12:54

Cuts both ways. Dh was made redundant and is long term sick until his operations “oh people will think your sponging off your wife” with a tinkly laugh.

A) No he’s not.
B) Fuck off.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 26/09/2021 12:55

Our postie says the same to me, DH is spending all my money as there are daily parcels for him.

Doris86 · 26/09/2021 12:56

Sounds like a perfectly innocent joke. I’m sure some people are just looking to be offended.

Osrie · 26/09/2021 12:58

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Our postie says the same to me, DH is spending all my money as there are daily parcels for him.
So does ours
Samuraisammy · 26/09/2021 12:59

I like the term micro-sexism as used by op, very true. Think they do it as a way to be pally with another fella, very frustrating but unfortunately too much of an accepted norm to be stamped out.

Sunshineonmars · 26/09/2021 12:59

@Blossomtoes

What is wrong with all these wet lettuce men that don’t say anything

Same as all of us women who don’t say anything, presumably. I have no desire for the world to judge me as a professionally offended, humourless twat.

The quote was In reference to a car salesmen addressing a ‘man’ when it was the woman buying a car, if you are ok with being ignored and talked over, then crack on with it, but I’m not.
toomuchlaundry · 26/09/2021 13:02

Are you allowed to be perpetually offended if it was a racist joke?

Viviennemary · 26/09/2021 13:03

Oh for heavens sake. It was a joke. I would laugh.

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 13:03

@toomuchlaundry

Are you allowed to be perpetually offended if it was a racist joke?
But it wasn’t.
toomuchlaundry · 26/09/2021 13:06

It was sexist though, so why is that okay but not a racist joke @Blossomtoes

Porfre · 26/09/2021 13:07

I would have just been really confused, and would have only really understood his meaning afterwards.

I'm the higher earner and we have separate money, so even the idea that I might be spending my husbands money would have taken me a while to figure out. It just doesnt happen.

toomuchlaundry · 26/09/2021 13:10

I am teaching my teenage son that sexist 'banter' is not okay. Am I wrong in doing this?

All the threads on here saying we need to bring up our sons to respect females, and to call out their mates when they don't, is that wrong too?

Dinoroaraus · 26/09/2021 13:11

@Viviennemary

Oh for heavens sake. It was a joke. I would laugh.
Do you laugh at all jokes even if they are offensive?
ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 13:12

Oh for heavens sake. It was a joke. I would laugh

Oh for heaven's sake. It was a sexist joke. I would laugh

Oh for heaven's sake. It was a racist joke. I would laugh

Oh for heaven's sake. It was a homophobic joke. I would laugh.

The only people who would laugh either don't believe it's sexist, find boorish sexist jokes like this funny, or have internalised misogyny themselves.

ThreeLittleDots · 26/09/2021 13:14

Or would laugh as women have been conditioned to, of course.. keep it light and bright for them. Silly men. Don't rock the boat poppet.

QueenPeary · 26/09/2021 13:17

My delivery man once said to me something like “ooh who’s been splashing the cash?” As he handed over a pile of parcels. He wasn’t even being sexist (no man around) but I was still a bit put out. My parcels were veterinary cat food, laundry powder and bathroom sealant not designer bags, but even if they were it’s rude.

I didn’t say anything though as I thought well, he’s just trying to lighten up his work day - but I think I would if it was sexist as well.

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 13:18

The only people who would laugh either don't believe it's sexist, find boorish sexist jokes like this funny, or have internalised misogyny themselves.

Or recognise irony when they hear it. No wonder women don’t get taken seriously. This kind of nonsense just makes us look absurd.