AIBU to think MN is a different universe to the real world

[FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo]

Reading a post about someone who is worried about money. Answers:

Take in ironing - honestly, I know very, very few people who give a shit about ironed clothes let alone outsource it. Plus you’d need a half decent iron to do it efficiently which costs money. And it’s usually suggested to a single mother who’s already burning the candle at both ends to survive.

Rent out your mortgaged home and rent elsewhere - ignoring the legalities of renting out a home you live in, where are all these houses where rented is cheaper than mortgages? Certainly in my area the only thing I could afford for the SAME as my 3 bed detached mortgaged would be a 1 bed rented studio or otherwise moving 30 miles away and needing to commute back to school and work.

Take it a lodger - great idea in theory and especially if single/ child free couple - but are most of you really okay with that if you have small children? I wouldn’t be comfortable having a stranger living in my home and having potential access to them whilst I’m asleep/ distracted, whatever.

I appreciate people are trying to be helpful but it just sounds like mimicked sound bites without a lot of thought about practicality.

So AIBU to think MN trope responses are an entirely different universe or do I just happen to live in a vacuum where these things are really considerable?

Money stuff definitely. I took Mumsnet advice on how much to tip removal men. I immediately realised it was way too much as I handed it over. Don't get me wrong, they deserved it but I didn't want to look flash.

@CiaoForNiao fair enough it isnt for you but it is an option for some people and quite a few do it. I live in S. Yorkshire and there's a steady trickle of people moving up here from the SE to settle down and start families. I grew up in the SE and fully a third of my sixth form year group have relocated "up north" over the past 30 years and only 2 remain in our home town because, frankly, few could afford to.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@CiaoForNiao fair enough it isnt for you but it is an option for some people and quite a few do it. I live in S. Yorkshire and there's a steady trickle of people moving up here from the SE to settle down and start families. I grew up in the SE and fully a third of my sixth form year group have relocated "up north" over the past 30 years and only 2 remain in our home town because, frankly, few could afford to.[/quote]
Oh of course it absolutely can be a solution. Especially if you haven't already started a family. But I've been told it in direct response to my own personal situation, more than once. Despite it clearly not being workable for me at this time.

I kind of miss the middle class intellectualism of the early MN days.

I truly believe that only someone who has bloody well done the advice they give should post it.
Take in fecking ironing?! Yeah, don't worry about whether your iron is good enough, you can do it well enough to a paid standard, insurance for damages, advertising your services etc etc.
I work in a pretty sensible job and can iron my stuff, trust me noone would bloody well pay Mt to do theirs, I'd lose more in good will payments 🤣. And yet it's trotted out on here like it's the ticket out of poverty!
Has anyone on here actually 'taken in ironing?!'

Stands by for avalanche of mumsnetters who have 'taken in ironing' and are now posting from their private jets...or not!

I recommended taking in a lodger on the thread I think you are referring to, having done it myself when I had a 2 year old, I would say it was an excellent suggestion. That poster was not a single parent either. If one of us lost our job we would definitely consider doing it again - if anyone would want to live with us with 3 noisy children. I agree about the ironing and renting out of house though.

I don't even own an iron!

I think in real life you tend to gravitate towards people you have something in common with or that you share the same values, whereas on mumsnet you come across people from all walks of life who have completely different lifestyles and backgrounds from you.

For example I don’t know anyone in my life who makes ridiculously unreasonable requests or who try and guilt trip me into doing something I don’t want to do (I have been reading a lot of bridezilla threads )

Also, I like hot weather, I’m not an introvert, I iron my clothes, I have never been invited to a wedding abroad, we are neither rich nor poor and I have small boobs

I'm 50 50 on this.

There are always some slightly mad suggestions.

But for all of those I see just as many threads where OP is given really sensible suggestions, solid advice, and good tips, and has every excuse under the sun as to why they can't possibly make any of them work

Move to a cheaper broadband/phone contract, or cancel completely are always one of the first ‘quick fix’ suggestions, but unless I’ve missed something, if you leave mid contract you would still need to pay your current contract off/early exit fees which can be £100s?

The only person who I know has a cleaner/gardener is my 91 year old neighbour.

Oh and where I live lots of people pay for ironing. It's an affluent area, lots of professionals who dress smartly for work and need shirts ironing.

@AnneElliott

Yes MN is a different world. Full of champagne socialists who've never actually lived in deprived areas they like to talk about.

A 'champagne socialist' lives close to me. 48, and has lived a privileged middle-class lifestyle. I don't think she has ever done a hard day's work in her life. Left uni (when it was free!) at 25, and is an only child who had her first house in Oxford bought for her by her parents when she was 27.

She has her own 'company' that was financed by her parents too, and rarely works more than 20 hours a week. She spends more time travelling the world.

No kids and married for the first time 13 years ago aged 35, and she and her (wealthy) husband bought a £575K 4 bed bungalow outright. They divorced after 7 years of marriage when she was 42, and she was left so well off from it that she is retiring at 50.

She is uber woke, and says we are all immigrants and fully supports anyone and everyone being allowed into the UK, and fully supported by taxpayers. She claims she has had a refugee staying at her house, though it turned out to be someone who was just staying there whilst the house their parents had bought for them was being done up.

When I was on my way to go for a walk yesterday, I overheard her (in her garden) saying (to an equally woke mate) that she has been actively avoiding the new families who are renting No 3 and No 5, around the corner, as they seem a bit 'rough' and she has heard they're from council estates in Wolverhampton and Crewe. And how the area is going to go downhill if they have more like this, and if the owners allow more 'renters' and 'people on benefits' in.

So it seems she is tolerant and accepting when it suits her, and when everyone is listening.

Her vile snobbery became very apparent yesterday. I cba to talk to her again.

There are a LOT of people on mumsnet like this woman.

Not everyone who has a cleaner is rich. An old acquaintance was disabled and lived in a housing association flat on housing benefit. She had a cleaner once a week, paid for out of her disability living allowance. She struggled financially but had little choice about a cleaner. She was unable to manage it herself.

Yep its bat shit.

I bet you never read the thread about the homeless person living in some ones shed/bin hold....

I know very, very few people who give a shit about ironed clothes let alone outsource it. Plus you’d need a half decent iron to do it efficiently which costs money.

We get ironing service leaflets through our door every other week. There are always posts on our local FB group asking if anyone can recommend someone to do ironing. One of my daughter’s classmates does mine sometimes if I’ve run out of time. My iron is 20 years old, It would be good enough to take on ironing if I chose to. Not that I think it is a always good solution for people, but there is a market out there for it.

@SmileyClare

When my dc were younger I approached an ironing shop who were advertising.

They gave me a large canvas bag of ironing to do as a trial. It took me the best part of a day to finish, I folded it carefully, hung the shirts on hangers in cellophane as I was instructed, hauled it into my car, and drove it to the shop.

The manager called later to explain I'd failed the test and my ironing wasn't up to standard. I wasn't going to be paid for the trial.

That was my experience of taking in ironing.

i wonder how much of their work they get done for free like that. similar happens in cafes; staff do first day as training, no pay. exploitation is alive and well in the gig economy. choice for all, flexibility etc says the govt. except the boss get all the choice, and the worker has all the risk.

Sorry the woman in question left uni at 21, not 25! Don't know why that happened. Get an edit button MN please!

Im probably going to get flamed for this - but this is just an example as to how everybody reality or "real world" is different. When I'm on MN, to me it seems full of people struggling with financial difficulties? I feel there are more posts about feeling "poor" than bragging about middle class lifestyles? So overall in my opinion - to me it seems the demographic of MN is mostly lower earners. Im not saying I'm right, I'm saying everyone sees things differently.

I know no-one who does that either.

I have a cleaner and used to have a gardener. I’m not sure anyone I knew, knew that about me, it never came up in conversation.

I definitely do not live in the land of MN. I rent my home. It's in a rough estate. I shop in Iceland. DH and I have a joint income of circa £50k. I don't have a cleaner, I do my own ironing. I fully expect some people on here have a mental picture of me looking like something out of Oliver Twist as I write this.

OTT, I have worked with the uttermost vulnerable, people who are on the bones of their arse and have to decide between buying food for their kids or topping up the electric meter with ten quid. I think I am privileged in comparison.

I think what has annoyed me on MN since covid is people's attitudes towards staying at home. Most people who have been able to stay at home throughout lockdown have been privileged enough to have their seclusion facilitated by those who have no choice but to go out and work. There are people who say it's too dangerous to go into an office of ten people. Try being a police officer or nurse being sworn at and spat at and tell me how dangerous your job is then.

So overall in my opinion - to me it seems the demographic of MN is mostly lower earners.

This is my view too. There are way more “I’m struggling on a low wage” posts than “I earn a decent wage”. And the sheer amount of bile against anyone who dares have a decent salary and notes they are having a problem, the utter disbelief that anyone actually earns more than the average wage. Someone upthread said people exaggerate their life, I believe this happens just as often with people exaggerating how bad their situation is as it does with people pretending they live the high life.

@Scrunchies

Im probably going to get flamed for this - but this is just an example as to how everybody reality or "real world" is different. When I'm on MN, to me it seems full of people struggling with financial difficulties? I feel there are more posts about feeling "poor" than bragging about middle class lifestyles? So overall in my opinion - to me it seems the demographic of MN is mostly lower earners. Im not saying I'm right, I'm saying everyone sees things differently.

I find a lot of the posts from the people on here struggling with financial difficulties aren't poor at all. They usually have a household income of over £50k but have a huge mortgage which is why they're struggling.

I think what has annoyed me on MN since covid is people's attitudes towards staying at home. Most people who have been able to stay at home throughout lockdown have been privileged enough to have their seclusion facilitated by those who have no choice but to go out and work.

This also works the other way. The derision for anyone who was having to homeschool or look after young children whilst also having to work from home, was awful. These people were told to be thankful they weren’t working in a Covid ward. Unhelpful and just pointless.

I find a lot of the posts from the people on here struggling with financial difficulties aren't poor at all. They usually have a household income of over £50k but have a huge mortgage which is why they're struggling.

But they are still struggling, and there can be a number of reasons why a mortgage is high and you can’t always just sell up.

@BoredZelda

I find a lot of the posts from the people on here struggling with financial difficulties aren't poor at all. They usually have a household income of over £50k but have a huge mortgage which is why they're struggling.

But they are still struggling, and there can be a number of reasons why a mortgage is high and you can’t always just sell up.

Yes, but you do have to cut your cloth accordingly sometimes. Some people take out the biggest mortgage they can afford and then end up struggling. As a low earner myself I took out the smallest mortgage I possibly could, it means I do not live in my ideal house or location but it does mean that I'm not stressing every month about bills.