AIBU to think being a lone parent should be a protected characteristic?

[neednotknow]

I dont know if this is controversial or not but I see that there's a lot of discrimination against lone parents when trying to engage with services.

There's a sigma and the assumption that you've failed in life if you end up living as a lone adult with your child but there are lots of reasons why it may happen.

While people are entitled to have their personal opinions, I don't think organisations/businesses should be allowed to indirectly discriminate based on whether a child has two or one resident parents.

(I would include men and women in that definition.)

I'm respectfully open to debate on this. Its more a rail against bureaucracy than anything else.

As someone who is doubly discriminated against for various reasons, I find this absurd. I can’t help the reasons why people like me are discriminated against.

Even though harsh, being a single parent is a lifestyle choice, even if you didn’t want it to happen. Because even when you break up, or your partner sadly passes away, you still have a choice to get married/start a relationship again.

Some people can’t change their skin colour, race, disability.

Another one wanting an actual example.

Remarried now but lone parent for years. No discrimination, no-one felt I was a failure. My child is only child of divorced parents in immediate friendship circle, but plenty of others in her wider circle - literally zero fucks given by anyone that either of us come into contact with.

There have been several successful cases against the DWP on this issue. Here is one:

www.theguardian.com/money/2021/jan/22/uk-childcare-payment-system-discriminatory-and-irrational-high-court-judge-rules

Being a single person should then, there are some attractions which don’t permit adults to go in without a child. Hotels and holidays charge more for single people.

@Hihelp that is nonsense to call it a lifestyle choice and ruins an otherwise sensible post! I had a choice to get married again? I did, after quite some time. You can’t just go to Thailand and buy a husband you know 🤷🏻‍♀️

@CorrBlimeyGG

A protected characteristic has to be permanent so no.

No, it doesn't. Disability does not have to be permanent.

OP female lone parents already have protection under the provisions for indirect sex discrimination.

thats super interesting, thanks!

YABU

You can’t claim discrimination if you can’t give a single example of it!

Not everything that doesn’t exactly fit your lifestyle is discrimination.

I don't feel discriminated against as a lone parent at all.

All that would happen is some people would use it to get summer and Christmas holidays off work and that would piss off everyone else.

Also my ex would be considered a lone parent, although he doesn't see the kids, but he would make sure he got any benefit from a discrimination law.

I was thinking of getting a loan while on parental leave but you had to have been back at work for a certain amount of time. That unfairly impacts on women and single parents I believe

@ChrissyPlummer

Being a single person should then, there are some attractions which don’t permit adults to go in without a child. Hotels and holidays charge more for single people.

i dont agree its the same but i take your point that there are disadvantages for other groups

I don't think organisations/businesses should be allowed to indirectly discriminate based on whether a child has two or one resident parents.

Can you give an example? Because I really can’t see where you’re coming from on this.

How are lone parents - or the children of lone parents - discriminated against?

@LateDecemberBackInLowB12

I don't feel discriminated against as a lone parent at all.

All that would happen is some people would use it to get summer and Christmas holidays off work and that would piss off everyone else.

Also my ex would be considered a lone parent, although he doesn't see the kids, but he would make sure he got any benefit from a discrimination law.

in my head, you would need to the resident parent and actually see your kids 😂 i can imagine the deadbeats loving it otherwise

@Imtootired

I was thinking of getting a loan while on parental leave but you had to have been back at work for a certain amount of time. That unfairly impacts on women and single parents I believe

It impacts on poorer people as lots can't get a loan at all after having children.

I see where you're coming from OP. I was a single parent for many years. However, as others have pointed out, I think the reality is that it's usually discrimination against women and/or lack of money than anything rather than lone parenthood itself.

Single parents often struggle more with employment due to being the only parent available for childcare at unsociable hours. However, this affects a great many parents (and disproportionately women as they are usually the ones fitting work around childcare more than fathers).

Booking holidays can be another problem area when so many family packages are based on 2 adults. However, one area of change which has been great to see is a change of famy tickets for 1 parent and more children.

IMO there are no practical problems faced by a lone parent that can't be sorted out with money (emotional ones are a different topic). It's just that because so many (92% I think?) are female and therefore many of them are also lower earners, poverty really bites this group.

Ensuring NRPs paid maintenance and contributed towards childcare costs would do a lot to alleviate this (and make a lot more people think harder about contraception in the first place).

@Imtootired

I was thinking of getting a loan while on parental leave but you had to have been back at work for a certain amount of time. That unfairly impacts on women and single parents I believe

I would certainly argue that someone who is under contract on parental leave should be treated as not being off work at all - there should be no “back at work” about it if you are still employed and this is continuous service. However, in the case of a loan it would be fair to base the lending decision on the salary at point of application.

I've pondered this in the past. It's not practical though. I'll still grumble about it .
I'd like extra annual leave to make up for it being just me over school holidays.
I am going to ask for a covid booster despite being just under 50. It's not OK that I'll be left vulnerable in the new year if my spring vaccine has weakened. Whereas 2 parent over 50 families will be automatically given a booster.

I agree in the sense that the vast majority of single parents are women so the incompetent shitshow that is the Child Maintenance Service will end up indirectly discriminating against women by failing to hold fathers to account.

That's the sort of example I think would warrant investigation in this area.

40 posts in and you haven't given an example of discrimination?

So I'm going to say no. (Lone parent, father lives in another country, no maintenance, of 9 years experience)

Lone parents are discriminated against when going for jobs - I have been asked ‘if I can manage’ the role and childcare. Also in housing, many landlords and agents refuse to rent to single parents

@Ionlydomassiveones

In theory, unless deceased, there is no such thing as a ‘lone’ parent. Society should expect that both parents take equal responsibility for the child.

Of course there is, my ex is absent and has no involvement at all. How is that not a l one parent? He may as well be dead!

@Shakeyourface

Lone parents are discriminated against when going for jobs - I have been asked ‘if I can manage’ the role and childcare. Also in housing, many landlords and agents refuse to rent to single parents

Surely that's about being a single adult household with insufficient income? I've never had a problem renting as my salary is sufficient. Discrimination against the low paid is an issue and single parenthood decreases salary capacity for sure but it's not direct discrimination against lone parents

Part of your OP isn’t even about discrimination just some weird personal chip you seem to have on your shoulder about us lone parents being seen as failures and some vague stigma for it.
That just leads back to money again… loan parent on benefits? Yeah, some people will judge that. Latest professional couple marriage to hit the rocks in my middle class primary school world? Nobody bats an eyelid.

@Hihelp

As someone who is doubly discriminated against for various reasons, I find this absurd. I can’t help the reasons why people like me are discriminated against.

Even though harsh, being a single parent is a lifestyle choice, even if you didn’t want it to happen. Because even when you break up, or your partner sadly passes away, you still have a choice to get married/start a relationship again.

Some people can’t change their skin colour, race, disability.

What a load of absolute shite

I think in most cases familyand friends are much keener to help a single Day over a single Mum.

I do think families run by one parent are discriminated against.

"Professionals" in my experience will mob any family they see as vulnerable which is one reason why the equality act and training session were required, look at the way they spoke about single Mum's in the 60s and the babies who tell us the damage the state, their own family and society did to them.

It’s an interesting debate but I’d really like to hear some actual examples from the OP.