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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what on God's green Earth possessed my 'D'H

341 replies

Lagomtransplant · 23/09/2021 22:01

So we're having a nice quiet evening, winding down towards bedtime. Suddenly my DH jumps up as if bitten by a flea, walks over to the hallway and starts fiddling with the newly purchased photo shelf. I ask him to leave it be, as I'm tired, and we'll sort it over the weekend.

Nope, on he goes about the waterpipes. OK, I kind of get that, it doesn't matter, if it can't go, the shelf is only a fiver, I'll put it into a charity box or something. No, suddenly I have to come over and give my opinion on the various positions on the wall. I give up and go back to my cuppa.

Next thing I turn around and he's eyeing the radiator suspiciously. I TELL him, beg and plead with him to leave it alone. No, off the wall it comes and apparently it is SOOO heavy I ABSOLUTELY MUST come over and help him put it back up. For the sake of clarity, this is a bog standard small radiator that CANNOT weigh more than a stone if that. I lift it during seasonal big clean with ease and put it back.

Now he's screaming the house down that I must come and help him. I put my foot down, I told him not to mess with it, now put it back up and stop being a crybaby. He goes on about having to call his elderly dad over to help him put the sodding thing back up. I tell him to pack it in.

Next thing he's on the floor, writhing like a bug, claiming the radiator fell over him. I told him I'm not having any of it, put the radiator back and stop being a fool. All of a sudden, he drags the slipper basket over, puts the radiator on it and starts following me around the house saying he's got horrible cramps and what am I going to do about it.

By this time I am royally passed off by his behaviour. I told him to pack it in, this time using some phrases I'm not going to repeat here. So he stomps off, puts the radiator back on (Suddenly it's not that heavy after all Hmm ) and cue more screaming. I simply eyeroll as he barges into the kitchen carrying a pebble sized piece of plaster, claiming I made him break the wall down.

Now he's off to draw himself a bath to cure his humongous crams that miraculously don't stop him from stomping up and down the stairs. Apparently I'm the most selfish person alive.

I'm sitting down, trying to cool down and wondering what Dr Who monster possessed my husband tonight, as this is utterly out of character for him. I am considering making him think over his behaviour on the sofa tonight.

So AIBU to have put my foot down and demanded he cleaned up the mess of his own making???

OP posts:
pantsandpringles · 24/09/2021 05:42

Get him seen by gp- My MIL's partner started having episodes like this and it is was actually a series of mini strokes.

I know it's unlikely, but better safe than sorry

SpeakingFranglais · 24/09/2021 05:43

Slipper basket
Draw a bath
Mess of his own making

Is this some weird reference to something that happened in Downton Abbey

user1471462428 · 24/09/2021 06:34

Brain mets can also provoke odd behaviour but also sepsis.

Lagomtransplant · 24/09/2021 06:44

I'm up now and will be keeping am eye on him today.

We're in our mid 30, for the posters who asked.

And about the phrases you find strange, I'm from Sweden, although I've been learning and speaking English most of my life. Some times I will phrase things weirdly, I'm afraid.

OP posts:
Lagomtransplant · 24/09/2021 06:47

@Marmelace

To tell you the truth, he did remind me of our cat having a funny episode Confused

OP posts:
Lovinghannah · 24/09/2021 06:55

Hope all is well today

AnotherFruitcake · 24/09/2021 07:02

‘Drew a bath’ is perfectly standard English, OP,, possibly a little old-fashioned/formal these days — I rather like it. It was your use of ‘hiney ’ made me smile.

Hope things resolve themselves after this episode.

Bluesheep8 · 24/09/2021 07:12

He drew a bath??

Is correct, if little used nowadays.
It tends to be run a bath now.

GoodnightGrandma · 24/09/2021 07:16

Should I be taking my radiators off the wall to clean them ?
OMG, another job !!!

Polkadots2021 · 24/09/2021 07:16

@Lagomtransplant

So we're having a nice quiet evening, winding down towards bedtime. Suddenly my DH jumps up as if bitten by a flea, walks over to the hallway and starts fiddling with the newly purchased photo shelf. I ask him to leave it be, as I'm tired, and we'll sort it over the weekend.

Nope, on he goes about the waterpipes. OK, I kind of get that, it doesn't matter, if it can't go, the shelf is only a fiver, I'll put it into a charity box or something. No, suddenly I have to come over and give my opinion on the various positions on the wall. I give up and go back to my cuppa.

Next thing I turn around and he's eyeing the radiator suspiciously. I TELL him, beg and plead with him to leave it alone. No, off the wall it comes and apparently it is SOOO heavy I ABSOLUTELY MUST come over and help him put it back up. For the sake of clarity, this is a bog standard small radiator that CANNOT weigh more than a stone if that. I lift it during seasonal big clean with ease and put it back.

Now he's screaming the house down that I must come and help him. I put my foot down, I told him not to mess with it, now put it back up and stop being a crybaby. He goes on about having to call his elderly dad over to help him put the sodding thing back up. I tell him to pack it in.

Next thing he's on the floor, writhing like a bug, claiming the radiator fell over him. I told him I'm not having any of it, put the radiator back and stop being a fool. All of a sudden, he drags the slipper basket over, puts the radiator on it and starts following me around the house saying he's got horrible cramps and what am I going to do about it.

By this time I am royally passed off by his behaviour. I told him to pack it in, this time using some phrases I'm not going to repeat here. So he stomps off, puts the radiator back on (Suddenly it's not that heavy after all Hmm ) and cue more screaming. I simply eyeroll as he barges into the kitchen carrying a pebble sized piece of plaster, claiming I made him break the wall down.

Now he's off to draw himself a bath to cure his humongous crams that miraculously don't stop him from stomping up and down the stairs. Apparently I'm the most selfish person alive.

I'm sitting down, trying to cool down and wondering what Dr Who monster possessed my husband tonight, as this is utterly out of character for him. I am considering making him think over his behaviour on the sofa tonight.

So AIBU to have put my foot down and demanded he cleaned up the mess of his own making???

Sounds like one of my relatives that I go out of my way to permanently avoid. I'd leave him but that's because I have this in the family and have no appetite for putting up with it. It's exhausting. You have my utter sympathy!!
Polkadots2021 · 24/09/2021 07:17

@SpeakingFranglais

Slipper basket Draw a bath Mess of his own making

Is this some weird reference to something that happened in Downton Abbey

All sounds normal to me,OP writes really nicely (unlike myself Grin)
CandyLeBonBon · 24/09/2021 07:19

@HadEnoughOfBears

Is that you Sharon?

Did he T-Rex again too?

You beat me to it!
Cuck00soup · 24/09/2021 07:19

OP, I hope you are OK this morning. Flowers

There is nothing humorous about a man behaving aggressively towards their female partner.

Would he have kept up the same stream of nonsense towards his father I wonder? Or would he have controlled his emotions?

Spiindoctor · 24/09/2021 07:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Grellbunt · 24/09/2021 07:27

I didn't know you could lift radiators that easily off walls!!!???

Confusedandshaken · 24/09/2021 07:34

How much drink had been taken?

LaurenKelsey · 24/09/2021 07:41

This is why I’m done with married life forever.

Lovemusic33 · 24/09/2021 07:44

I’m not sure why so many people are laughing and joking about this. It sounds like OP’s dh is unwell. Either some kind of breakdown, a mini stroke or maybe some kind of infection. An infection such as a UTI can cause weird symptoms and psychosis. Where are the cramps he is having? I would be getting him checked over by your GP as something doesn’t seem right (unless this happens a lot?).

Lessthanaballpark · 24/09/2021 07:48

Was the shelf from IKEA?

Drinker · 24/09/2021 07:49

Good medicine this time of the morning, made me chuckle.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 24/09/2021 07:50

This one of the posts where I understand every single word I read but cannot make head or tail of the story.

Photo shelf, waterpipes, lifting radiators, slipper baskets, it's all like a parallel universe.

EmeraldShamrock · 24/09/2021 07:53

He doesn't sound well.
Has he lost his mind.

BigFatLiar · 24/09/2021 08:00

If he's not normally like this and it came out of the blue then I'd go with him being ill though it may not be something easily diagnosed by a doctor.

Badgercity · 24/09/2021 08:02

I’m not sure what the confusion is? As I read it -

OP and her DH have recently purchased a small shelf for the hallway, the type you may put a few photos on and useful bits and bobs you need when leaving the house.

OP and DH are watching tv and winding down when suddenly OPDH starts fretting about whether or not putting the shelf above the radiator will potentially hit a hidden radiator water pipe. So (rather inexplicably) starts faffing with the shelf and radiator, despite OP objecting due to lateness and tiredness.

OPDH continues anyway and persistently tries to get OP to help him, she refuses and tells him to leave it alone. Nevertheless he continues and removes the radiator off the wall, the radiator has flexible pipes and brackets for the express reason of being able to detach it from the wall. OPDH tries to drag OP into the radiator faffing by claiming it’s “too heavy” - OP has regularly managed the radiator on her own and knows this is not true. So after some dramatics he uses the slipper basket to prop up the radiator, which breaks the basket.

Eventually he realises that OP isn’t buying his crap and puts the radiator back on the wall and makes a scene about having cramps and draws himself a bath (perfectly correct English) while stomping about in a manner that suggests he is not in pain.

He’s either an arse or something else is going on with him, either mental or physical. I would see how he is this morning OP.

PerseverancePays · 24/09/2021 08:14

I love how you stayed calm throughout and didn’t get drawn in.