To think hospitals need to allow visitors as normal ASAP?

[Burnt0utMum]

My grandad has had a heart attack and is now in hospital alone. His wife of approx 60 years is at home helpless as she can't be with him. He's not allowed visitors at all so we're stuck waiting the odd phone call from the hospital with an update. It's so cruel for those in hospital alone and those at home with the constant worry of not being able to help. Aibu to think enough is enough and visitors need to be allowed to see their relatives? If they're fully vaccinated and can show a negative test why are they still being kept away?

Im a nurse, I hate the no visitor rule. It’s cruel for the patient and relatives and causes horrendous guilt for the nurses. These policies need looking at ASAP.

But OP, think how much more worried she would be if he catches Covid while in his weakened condition vaccines and a negative test aren't guarantees.

I hope your grandad is ok.

Fully agree. Enough of this cruelty. Same for care homes.

I agree, it’s so cruel

Agreed. Lost my grandad recently (not covid), my aunt to cancer (undiagnosed until too late because of covid) now my grandma is in hospital and we cannot visit. She's heart broken from losing her husband and daughter - now we cannot see her, she isn't in a local hospital, she doesn't know how to use a mobile so we are reliant on the nurses. Unfair for them and us.

I agree 100% It has been horrific trying to support and advocate for elderly relatives during this time.

I think there should be visiting but not as normal/a free for all as case numbers are still quite high and vulnerable patients need to have their risk of covid kept as low as possible. I do think though that all hospital patients (excluding end of life care) should be allowed one vaccinated, negative LFT'd visitor who has full access.

Because a vaccine and negative test aren’t enough to stop this virus. DS is vaccinated and tested negative twice, so far we know of 2 people he’s transmitted it to. 😩

I would imagine it depends entirely on the hospital, in that I had a relative in an orthopedic hospital about 3 months ago, and visitors were allowed every day, so long as it was only one per day, and their name was provided to the front desk.

I agree it needs looking at. My MiL has been in hospital recently-she is 89 and has alzheimer's. She cannot use a mobile phone and the ward she was in didn't have bedside phones.

The staff were very good in terms of giving updates on how she was doing but DH and SiL didn't see or speak to their mother for 2 weeks!)

Yes, covid hasn't gone away but everything else seems to have returned to normal except hospitals/GPs.

When I was in I was allowed one visitor but it had to be the same person. Maybe it depends on the ward?

I agree hospital worker here too. It's downright cruel keeping loved ones apart particularly for older people and those with serious or life-ending conditions. Getting well is more than medicine and bed rest it's good nutrition, conservation, laughter, familiar loving touch from loved ones, me tal well being and much much more.

But for some hospital in-patients restricting visitors is absolutely the right thing to do in the circumstances, as unpleasant as that may be, because their condition would put them at risk of serious covid and/or death if someone was to bring it into the ward.

Lowering visitor numbers lowers the risk.

DH had to be told his cancer was terminal on his own in hospital and he didn't see anyone except hospital staff for three months after that, until he came home to die. Visitors only allowed at the very end of life.

Looking back I don't know why I stood for it (I did try very hard to persuade them) and I don't know why doctors and other medical professionals allowed such a cruel situation.

No one will ever convince me that was humane or right or necessary.

Agree. It’s absolutely inhumane to leave people alone, suffering and frightened. Relatives/visitors are there to advocate for the patient as well as provide comfort, company and reassurance - none of which the staff have time for (no fault of theirs).

I was in hospital earlier this year and needed a blood transfusion which took hours and hours to arrive. I was alone and terrified and thought I was going to die. The thought of people being in that state at the actual end of their life makes me despair at what has been done to us.

I said yabu because I don’t think “as normal” because there are so many very vulnerable people in hospitals and care homes.

However, they certainly should be allowed at least someone to visit! How many people I’m not sure, but absolutely at least someone.

Yes, I think they should be allowed. At least one regular visitor.

for @GreatPotato I’m sure you tried your best. Sorry for your loss.

Mum was in hospital recently. Initially said no visitors, then 1 person for 1 pre booked hour per day. In the end, as mum was so ill, they kind of turned a blind eye to the hour rule and let me stay longer .

She transferred to another hospital for the last 48 hours of her life. They initially said only 1 person was allowed to visit the whole time she was in, and only for an hour each day with no other visitors ever allowed. I was very upset as mum was dying and both my brother and I wanted to see her. Luckily, the staff ended up chucking out the rule book and using their discretion and let both my brother and I visit, for as long as we wanted (she had own room, so other patients were not impacted). As it became obvious she didn't have long to live, they even let me stay permanently by her bedside, made me a bed up in her room, made me cups of tea, and allowed me to be there when she died. I am so so so grateful the staff took this human approach. I think I'd have been traumatised if I had not been allowed to be with her in those final dying hours and days ...

I have had covid, both vaccines and took lateral flow tests daily and wore my mask. I think if visitors can prove vaccine status and agree to daily lateral flow, the restrictions should be eased, particularly when relatives are dying. It is so very important to be able to see dying and very ill relatives.

I don't think everybody should be allowed multiple visitors, but each person should be allowed one nominated person, who must LFT x amount of times per week and be double vaccinated (or medically exempt).

They have to keep all the patients safe.

It's horrible, but so would be bringing covid into a ward of highly vulnerable people. Because of both the risk to the individuals on the ward, and the ensuing bedblocking when care home residents cannot be safely discharged until 10 days are up.

There isn't a good answer, so the choice is between illness/serious illness/death v distress/confusion/loneliness, and the side that is potentially immediately fatal is the one that carries more weight

Hospitals just aren't set up for control of infectious diseases, and I fervently hope that is something that will change

In the early 70s I was a 4 year old alone in hospital for weeks on end time after time with a bad chest. Parents weren’t allowed to sleep over and one parent was only allowed at visiting times.
Children weren’t allowed to visit so I didn’t see my siblings for weeks.
I was 4 and coped with it despite being terrified and very shy.
I’m sure adults can cope during a pandemic
I guess it’s made me less soppy

I am going to raise this again with the rehab hospital my daughter is at. The suffering it has caused her and to us, as a family is nothing short of a scandal. I have tried every which way and have been granted 1 hour a week only. This policy needs to change and soon. It's desperately inhumane. I cannot tell you had bad the last 18 months have been.

Agreed 100%, 5 days alone after birthing my first child last year has scarred me for life, let alone having an ill family member