To think hospitals need to allow visitors as normal ASAP?

[Burnt0utMum]

My grandad has had a heart attack and is now in hospital alone. His wife of approx 60 years is at home helpless as she can't be with him. He's not allowed visitors at all so we're stuck waiting the odd phone call from the hospital with an update. It's so cruel for those in hospital alone and those at home with the constant worry of not being able to help. Aibu to think enough is enough and visitors need to be allowed to see their relatives? If they're fully vaccinated and can show a negative test why are they still being kept away?

My DM was in hospital recently. She has dementia and lives hundreds of miles away. I was allowed a one hour visit. I spent a total of ten hours driving for the one hour visit.

@3luckystars

‘Visitors’ in hospitals should be permanently banned for good after this. I think it’s a joke that neighbours and friends were allowed to just traipse in to someone’s bedside, especially to a ward with other patients, there is no need for that carry on.

However, close family should 100% be allowed in to help with their loved one, but the only people allowed in should be close relatives etc.
There should be a better system set up, it’s absolutely appalling the way that sick people are alone in hospital right now.
Also the amount of falls I’m hearing about with patients trying to get up, or falling out of bed. There just isn’t enough nursing staff to care for everything.

A family liaison role should be set up that communicates properly and regularly with the family. There is no way nurses should have to be dealing with passing in messages etc. This isn’t their job.

I feel really bad for everyone dealing with this right now. Hopefully changes are coming soon to this awful situation.

Not everyone has close family. Sometimes neighbours are all people have.

‘Visitors’ in hospitals should be permanently banned for good after this. I think it’s a joke that neighbours and friends were allowed to just traipse in to someone’s bedside

I think one or two nominated people should be allowed to visit but I do think a move away from a coachload of visitors is better all around for other patients.

@3luckystars

‘Visitors’ in hospitals should be permanently banned for good after this. I think it’s a joke that neighbours and friends were allowed to just traipse in to someone’s bedside, especially to a ward with other patients, there is no need for that carry on.

However, close family should 100% be allowed in to help with their loved one, but the only people allowed in should be close relatives etc.
There should be a better system set up, it’s absolutely appalling the way that sick people are alone in hospital right now.
Also the amount of falls I’m hearing about with patients trying to get up, or falling out of bed. There just isn’t enough nursing staff to care for everything.

A family liaison role should be set up that communicates properly and regularly with the family. There is no way nurses should have to be dealing with passing in messages etc. This isn’t their job.

I feel really bad for everyone dealing with this right now. Hopefully changes are coming soon to this awful situation.

That is harsh. When I have been in hospital, my mum could only visit me once a week. I had daily visits from friends though which helped so much. So, you would happily deny that extra level of support for people like me?

@pinkstripeycat

In the early 70s I was a 4 year old alone in hospital for weeks on end time after time with a bad chest. Parents weren’t allowed to sleep over and one parent was only allowed at visiting times. Children weren’t allowed to visit so I didn’t see my siblings for weeks. I was 4 and coped with it despite being terrified and very shy. I’m sure adults can cope during a pandemic I guess it’s made me less soppy

The very reason this changed is because it's recognised that such treatment was cruel and had an extremely negative impact on children.

Maybe you were fine, maybe you weren't, people who knew you at the time may remember things differently.

Regardless of your experiences, surely you can realise that others might feel differently and that the majority of vulnerable or elderly people would actually rather be with a loved one than isolated on their own with no familiar face for weeks at a time. Again research shows the negative impact on people is greater than the benefit.

For the children of the earlier generations and the elderly of today it amounts to the same thing its neglect in theguise of "care".

As pp have stated hospital patients have always been at-risk of bugs brought in by others and it probably is a good idea to look at better ways to accommodate visitors and family members.

No that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry I worded that so badly.
I meant groups of neighbours, friends and colleagues traipsing in to a hospital to visit someone. What I should have said was ‘groups of people should be banned and only a handful of approved visitors allowed in to see patients’
Again I’m very sorry about the way I worded that.

When an old colleague was in hospital, the cleaner was going into visit her, along with several people she barely know just appeared in beside the bed. I know some family members arrived in groups to visit as part of a trip into the ‘city’. I do think this carry on should be curtailed, it’s not even about the spread of illness but what about the poor sick person in bed suddenly having to entertain a group of neighbours while they are at their most vulnerable. That’s what I meant. Visitors should be a select few approved people. That’s all.

Completely agree OP.

It’s cruel and I’ve seen and experienced the effects from it during this pandemic 3 times.

My grandmother was dying in a nursing home. My grandfather (also a resident in the nursing home) sat by her bedside alone and watched her die with no other family there. None of us were allowed in to say goodbye.

12 weeks later my grandfather died - we reckon of a broken heart. He went into hospital and lay dying for 2 weeks before the hospital phoned my mum to come for his “last hours”. When she got there she found him severely dehydrated and in pain. He died 20 minutes after she arrived. It was too late as he was already slipping away and he wasn’t even aware she was there. As far as he knows he lay dying for probably what seemed like an eternity alone.

12 weeks after that I went in to hospital to have my baby. It was a difficult labour. I sat alone in the induction ward for 3 days before they could get me a bed in delivery. As a first time mum I was terrified. They were so short on beds another girl went into labour on the other side of the curtain and the midwife lost her temper with her and told her to shut it. When I started to cry with complete fear I was also told to “pull myself together” and “catch myself on”. Do you really think I would have been spoken to like that if my husband or mother were sitting there? Fast forward - an 18 hour very difficult labour my baby was born and my husband was chucked out within an hour. I was brought to the postnatal ward very ill to cope with a newborn completely by myself. Nobody helped me. I asked someone to help me wash my legs are they were covered in dried blood. I was told no. I asked someone to help me lift my baby from the crib as I had torn my chest wall in labour and was told to do it myself as they were so busy. I have no doubt the nurses are run off their feet but if my family were there they could have helped me! I finally got home 2 days later with the dried blood on my legs and the vomit from labour still in my hair. I collapsed in a heap on the hall floor crying my eyes out to my horrified mum, dad, brother and sister.

I am suffering from crippling birth trauma and post natal depression as a result. I can’t sleep and when I do I dream I’m locked in the maternity ward by myself and I can’t get out.

COVID has made for a very difficult year for myself and my family due to these inhumane restrictions. I know I’m probably rambling on and there’s hundreds if not thousands of others worse off so I feel stupid for even feeling this way.

In essence.. it’s time for the visiting restrictions to go. They are CRUEL

Are different hospitals doing different rules?
Our General are letting visitors in.
There are rules however,
It has to be the same person each visit if possible.
It has to be a regular time each day if possible.
It's restricted to an hour (but they're not strict about it)
They must always wear masks.

When I was in hospital, it was fantastic not having visitors. I would have liked to have seen my husband but could at least call him. Not to have everyone else's large number of visitors was so much better. there was peace and quiet most of the time.

I appreciate that it would be different if I didn't have the technology though

I don't agree that a patient should be allowed multiple visitors because it increases the risk but in my area I believe that they are allowed one designated visitor so in his case would be your grandmother. Absolutely sucks for him and the family him being alone. Hope he makes a speedy recovery op 💕

@BastilleBastille

I’m sorry for all you’ve been through.

The lack of oversight that visitors provide has been terrifying.

@pinkstripeycat

In the early 70s I was a 4 year old alone in hospital for weeks on end time after time with a bad chest. Parents weren’t allowed to sleep over and one parent was only allowed at visiting times. Children weren’t allowed to visit so I didn’t see my siblings for weeks. I was 4 and coped with it despite being terrified and very shy. I’m sure adults can cope during a pandemic I guess it’s made me less soppy

Did you have an empathy bypass while you were there? There's a difference between being a 4 year old with visitors than an elderly person with dementia not seeing a soul, a terminally ill person not being able to see their family.

I dont think it should be a free for all. But absolutely think at this stage maybe Named/tested and masks for maybe one or two named visitors ( one at a time) it’s a fine balance to keep people at less risk. Some wards already do this kind of visiting.

I work in a hospital and it’s awful they’ve no visiting but it’s for a reason. We do need to consider risk v benefit and there is massive benefits for visiting but it doesn’t come without risk of already vulnerable and sick patients.

Covid is so contagious and other would it be the NHS/care homes fault if a patient caught covid from a visitor? ( this happened at my trust).

With the staff rushed off their feet there was no time for them to help my mother make a call to me when she was in recently, (eye surgery) or for them to call me at any point during the 16 hour time slot i gave them every day.

She's 84, i'm her only relative and the hospital is a 4 hour round trip for me. They know this. It was even written up on the board by her bed. They said i could 'pop in' with some things for her during the week at lunch time (change of pjs ect) but only for a moment

@Lou573

Mothers have only been allowed limited contact with their babies in NICU. Can you imagine, 2 hours a day allocated to see your newborn? It’s inhumane.

This certainly hadn’t happened in our NICU. Visiting was restricted early days but both parents visit now. The just lateral flow and wear ppe.

I agree with you but also kind of understand why it is how it is, my partner has had major chest surgery today and is now to be in hospital for however long it takes for him to recover and have the drain removed and me and our children can't see him until he comes home which is awful....however I have no doubt that if he caught covid right now he would die so I'm happy no one can go on as it helps keep him safe while he's so fragile

@BastilleBastille what you went through is just awful. I’m so sorry for you. I hope you are ok.

@BastilleBastille how horrendous for you I hope you get some help and are able to move on eventually what part of the country was the hospital?

Enough is enough. My children haven’t seen their great nan for a year now - my toddler has no idea who she is and 10yo is just sad. The care home say the government won’t allow children into care homes.

Before Covid she was living in her own flat In a supported built it but took a turn and is now in a care home. She’s not in great health and I live in fear something will happen to her and they’ll never see her again.

Thank you - just taking it one day at a time.

One of the main hospitals in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

For anyone who believes patients and families should be better supported by allowing more regular visits please sign the below (sorry I don’t know how to make a link)

Many thanks,

www.change.org/p/the-nhs-please-let-me-see-my-wife