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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to eat food delivered to a bin?!

289 replies

PurpleCurtain · 21/09/2021 17:47

Ordered some cereal bars in bulk that were delivered today by Royal Mail. I was in, but feeding my newborn and didn't make the door. They delivered it - to my brown bin, which is inside a bin store to the front of my house. The last things put in there were manure and very mouldy flowers.

DH thinks there's no problem - they are individually wrapped and then in cardboard box and he has thrown the box. I don't want to eat them or frankly have them in my house, and feel completely bemused at the lack of hygiene standards from Royal Mail. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AMALT · 21/09/2021 23:34

@buttercup1001

My situation and this post no comparison sorry
unbelievable
youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/09/2021 23:39

@buttercup1001

My situation and this post no comparison sorry
Yep I agree. You're risking the life of a child with a convicted child abuser who strangles you and abuses in you lots of other ways. The audacity to come on a thread and say OP is being unreasonable for what is clearly an OCD response is staggering. Focus on your son, not berating other vulnerable women.
DebbieHarrysCheekbones · 21/09/2021 23:42

@buttercup1001
If I was you I’d be giving less fucks about this thread and the stuff that’s formed the basis of your own

MrMeSeeks · 21/09/2021 23:53

@buttercup1001

youvegottenminuteslynn mine is real life shruggles lot more serious than a parcel being dumped in a bin x
My god. It’s a ‘mental health condition’ for a reason Hmm If you’re lucky enough not too suffer, then don’t judge another person with it.
Littlehaven998 · 22/09/2021 00:01

I couldn’t put up with you OP, you sound a nightmare!

They’re fine! They’ve been wrapped in a bloody box! Not been in contact with anything- eat them or don’t, who cares but stop being so bloody precious.

findmeaholiday · 22/09/2021 00:12

Your newborn baby stopped you from going to your front door?

CallMeRisley · 22/09/2021 00:26

@findmeaholiday

Your newborn baby stopped you from going to your front door?
She says “feeding my newborn” so assume she means breastfeeding- getting it all established in those early days, sitting with your boob out, a fussy newborn who is only just learning to latch finally latches on just as there’s a knock on the door… Or even bottle feeding, it doesn’t involve having a boob out but all hands are in use and if has been fussy and has finally decided to take a feed you may not want to disturb them.
CallMeRisley · 22/09/2021 00:31

@RosieCockle

Wonder where the newborn gets it's fussiness from? 🤔
Eh? Have you ever met a newborn?
sprinkleyumnut · 22/09/2021 00:42

Just wipe the outside box with an antibacterial wipe

avamiah · 22/09/2021 00:47

I’ve had lots of deliveries recently as my daughter started secondary school and many of them were getting delivered by Royal Mail and the day before I have always received a email from them asking me to give them a “safe place” alternative for delivery if I’m not available.
I have had no problems at all with them and they have always followed my instructions .

And No I don’t work for Royal Mail lol

gofg · 22/09/2021 06:06

when on earth will we have no running water or toilets.
In an international pandemic perhaps?

Your absurdist argument does not do you any favours.
The world is not ending and your world ending arguments do not negate OPs very reasonable preferences in a first world country

@Embroidery - where did I say the world was going to end? Have you never been on holiday to another country? Other countries have natural disasters, and at such times there most certainly can be no running water, no working toilet, and no phone coverage. You are very naive if you think something like that could never happen in a first world country, and I can assure you that such things can, and do, happen. Maybe watch the news occasionally.

As for the OP's "very reasonable" preferences, the majority on this thread would beg to differ.

RazorSharp · 22/09/2021 06:41

@Embroidery

This thread is quite gaslighting OP. And mean -spirited. Most people would not have tolerated taking it out of the bin.

If I was living with a man who insisted on taking something out of the bin (and encouraging me to eat it) I would be in a terrible state. I would also plan to LTB. Its one of the worse things someone could do to me.

Btw this is a preference not mental illness. Some pp don't know the difference but it is one. A preference akin to not eating excrement - you wouldnt call that OCD!

This thread is very unkind.

Also how society has descended, oniine shopping was meant to be convenient but all it has ended in is pp fully justifying getting stuff from bins. Its not normal or natural and wouldnt have been accepted before recent times. Pp mentioning poverty are mad. Ive been very poor in my time but would still live on 30p beans rather than get anything from a bin.
Online shopping occasionally puts things in bins with me. I massively kick off with delivery company and supplier every time and have always managed to get money back. I leave it in bin every time. Sometimes they collect it, mostly not but I still get the money back. They shouldnt be allowed to do it and if more pp didnt accept it, it could be stopped.

But a lot of people are happy with things being left in a bin, it's convenient and stops a trip to collect it!

It's a common practise as you've already stated, so obviously a lot of people think it's fine.

I'd never massively kick off about it, I'd just go to the bin, collect the item, unwrap it and use it.

I'm not sure why you think this is gaslighting? Who is gaslighting who?

gofg · 22/09/2021 07:05

Most people would not have tolerated taking it out of the bin.

So why does the voting show 85% think the OP is BU Hmm The 15% who agree with her does not equate to "most people".

EatYourVegetables · 22/09/2021 07:09

Can everyone just read the whole thread or even the OP’s posts? She’s been diagnosed with OCD and as PPs have said her other posts show she’s clearly not in a good place. Stop piling on.

This.

Please read the full thread. Please search for OPs other threads. She is not well and needs support with her health anxiety. She does not need this pile on.

If all you are saying is your quick opinion on the opening post and nothing else, you will literally repeat what 11 pages of posters have already said.

notthemum · 22/09/2021 07:17

@Holskey

I don't think it's acceptable to deliver items to a bin, but I do think they're edible. I can see why you'd be put off though.
This. Personally I wouldn't eat them.
BogRollBOGOF · 22/09/2021 07:28

I hate the practice of putting deliveries in bins, they can be hard to reach, gross or emptied before you find them.
I was livid when my DCs' delivery of a year's worth of school uniform was put into our stinking general waste bin.

The actual contents were fine. I removed them from the outer packaging outside, and the inner contents were unaffected.

The cereal bars are protected by their inner wrapings. While I've never been one to disinfect groceries coz Covid, where something has specifically been in an undersirable place I would wipe it down. If it's sealed enough to be wiped down it is sealed enough to remain safe to eat on the inside.

OCD is a bitch and if your level of it has altered by having a baby (at a difficult time too) please seek or update your support so it doesn't consume your life.

Heronwatcher · 22/09/2021 07:34

What’s your actual worry here? You know that plastic isn’t porous right? Get rid of the cardboard box, wipe the wrapper with some hot water (and a small squirt of cleaning spray if you must). They’ll likely be cleaner that they ever have been in their shelf life!

BloodyMaryplease · 22/09/2021 07:41

Yes I've previously been diagnosed with OCD, generally under control, mold has always been a trigger.

If you had shared this key piece of information in your original post, people may have been a little more understanding. If it’s starting to impair your ability to get on with your day to day life (e.g. eat the food that you’ve ordered) then it may be worth seeking professional support with it, if you’re not currently receiving any.
All the Best OP.

FlorallyBankrupt · 22/09/2021 08:00

OP I'm not going to comment on the cereal bars (even if there's 200 responses insisting they are absolutely fine, you're not going to believe us Smile).

However, I also have an irrational phobia and if there is one thing I've learnt from Mumsnet, it is not to expect people to try and understand your fears about "the thing" - your fear is disproportionate and irrational, therefore posters will try to put things in perspective and rationalise with you and it just doesn't work. You'll get more and more stressed and they'll get more and more frustrated!

Do yourself a favour, get on a waiting list for some cognitive behavioural therapy, or better still go private if you can afford it. It might not cure you but you'll feel a whole lot better about life, trust me - I've been there!

Do what you need to do about the delivery, I understand you can't stand the idea of it being in the house so get rid of it, but at least donate it.

I'm not cured, I still have coping mechanisms for mine and I'll always be on medication so I can function normally, but you need to take some steps to help yourself. Good luck with it all, I know it's hard. Flowers

buttercup1001 · 22/09/2021 08:14

I just don't see y the OP didn't just throw them out of give them to someone it's obvious she wasn't gonna eat them no matter how fine they are.i thought this thread was a bit OTT.

buttercup1001 · 22/09/2021 08:15

If the cereal bars were all unopened wrappers off etc I could understand...

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 22/09/2021 10:03

No offence @buttercup1001 but as PP have pointed out, there's a lot of things that you do that others don't understand. Just because you don't understand and think it's OTT doesn't mean she shouldn't have posted it.

user1473878824 · 22/09/2021 10:22

@PurpleCurtain I second everything @FlorallyBankrupt said

user1473878824 · 22/09/2021 10:23

@buttercup1001 after 28 pages when you ignored absolutely everything everyone said to you about something incredibly important why are you picking at someone else’s post?

Generallystruggling · 22/09/2021 10:23

Your DH is right. It’s rank of RM to leave them there but they are individually wrapped in plastic and then in a cardboard box on top of that.